“Love” Terry told me once that she’d always wanted a woman who’d pull her so far outside herself she’d never find her way back. You want that kind of love? - I asked. I don’t know – she said – I don’t know if it would be a dream or a nightmare. I smiled. That isn’t real love, no no no. It has to be – she said -- it’s the only thing I’ve never had. But that isn’t love – when you lose yourself like that – what does it leave for a lover to love besides themselves? Nothing I guess. Exactly, I said.