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Having a birthday the first week of November usually has me examining my life, the choices I've made, where I am in relation to where I want to be. More often than not, the next few weeks are spent having a personal 'pity party' and focusing on my perceived failures and on what I don't have. Fortunately Thanksgiving comes along and I begin to focus on all I am blessed with, and poof the personal pity party comes to an abrupt end. Mind you, I really do make a conscious effort to focus on my many blessings every day, but there are days......

No, I'm nowhere near where I'd like to be in my life, and at the moment I'm facing some pretty scary changes, but I start with the fact that I can see this screen and have beautifully functioning fingers to type out my thoughts, and suddenly all that other stuff is just too ridiculous to think about. I have a loving family in perfect health, some very dear friends, and no matter how scary the changes ahead of me seem, I have the absolute knowledge that Spirit aways provides. Just as I whine and complain about running for 2 trains each day to get to work until I see someone in a wheelchair (little angel nudges, I call it), it seems to take a deliberate focus, like Thanksgiving, for me to come back to my senses and realize just how blessed I really am. And once again, I'll resolve to stop and acknowlege each just-turned-amber leaf or breathtaking sunset; to start each day counting my blessings; to end each day in prayerful thanks for all Spirit has given me this day. Until the next pity-party furtively creeps back into my thoughts, which it inevitably does. Hopefully they will be shorter in duration each time until one day they just cease to be altogether. No, I'm not anywhere near that time yet, but I'm getting there, and the best gift of all is that I always have the choice to choose again.

Wishing you an abundance of blessings.... hmm. Scratch that. Wishing you the awareness of your abundant blessings!

Love, Spiritsong




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midi copyright 2000 Bruce DeBoer
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