AS YOU WERE-----
Season 6, Episode 15
College Guy: Hey Buffy. I'm smart and you're not.
College Guy: So when I'm happily married with a wife who adores me, two kids, a puppy, and a nice cushy job with six figures, you'll be, what? Still working fast food? Like, you have no life.
Buffy: Like, you wanna go stick your head in the deep fryer? I heard it can be fun!
Buffy: Long day. I'm bushed, mopey, depressed... Only one thing can make me feel better now and that's---
Spike: Wanna shag?
Buffy: I know there was a different ending to that sentence, but since I can't remember it for the life of me--- Sure!
Dawn: I'm going out for some major fun tonight! What are you gonna do, Buffy?
Buffy: The usual.
Dawn: One 'sit around and mope' coming right up.
Buffy: Sarcastic poopy head.
Buffy: Think everyone gets the idea now just how much my life sucks?
College Guy: Probably. But, just in case, you go work up front for a while.
Riley: (walks up to the counter) Hey Buffy! My life's the best! How's your's?
Buffy: Even that pink battle scar over his eye is cool! What have I got? A cow on my hat and I smell like spatula grease.
Buffy: You know, that demon looks like bits of the past five demons I've fought, all thrown together.
Riley: Seems the makeup department is still playing mix and match. Nice to see things don't change all that much.
Sam: Hi all. I'm Riley's wife!
Buffy: Okay, Joss... any time you want to stop laying the smackdown on my life and general coolness factor is alright by me.
Sam: Buffy!! MOVE!!
Buffy: What?! Is there some slimey demon behind me that's about to rip my head off and eat it?
Sam: No... you're standing between me and the cue cards, stupid.
Buffy: I take back everything I said. Those two deserve each other.
Riley: So how is everyone?
Buffy: (mutters) Seething with jealousy.
Riley: What was that?
Buffy: *coughs* Extremely happy for thee?
Buffy: Shut up!
Sam: And do you know what a wonderful kisser Riley is?
Buffy: (walks out of the shot, tossing a lit match on the cue cards as she leaves)
Sam: Hey! Come back here! Bitch.
Buffy: Spike, I'm depressed.
Spike: So, naked now?
Buffy: Just take off your pants, 'k?
Spike: Ahhhh. You are so easy.
Spike: --- to love. So easy to love!
Buffy: Were I not needy for someone to fondle me and make me feel needed, I'd slap you into next Wednesday right about now.
Buffy: Oooops. Hey Riley.
Riley: You and Spike?!
Buffy: It was an accident!
Riley: You accidentally slipped and fell all naked into Spike's bed?
Buffy: Okay, so, excuse is classified as 'lame'.
Riley: Pfff. And you used to call me Chronic Boink Boy.
Buffy: I suck. We've established this a very long time ago. Can we move on?
Buffy: This day can't get any worse.
Riley: Spike's trafficing demon fetuses.
Buffy: Words, watch as I injest you.
Demon Babies: *crawl, crawl*
Bomb: Tick.... Tick.... BOOM!
Demon Babies: AAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEE! *sploit*
Riley: Alright, then. Sam and I have to be going.
Riley: Sorry, Buff. Wish we could stay longer. (starts to be reeled up into the waiting helicopter)
Buffy: No, you don't underst---
Riley: Oops. I saw that there. Really, I did.
Buffy: You didn't have clearance on the helicopter runners, there.
Buffy: Spike..... we're through.
Spike: (pause) Again?!
(The Little Grr! Argh! demon flies across the screen in Riley's helicopter)
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