THE YOKO FACTOR -----
Season 4, Episode 20
McNamera: I'm completely in control! You'll see, sir. I have
everything contained properly.
Official Guy: Your fly's unzipped.
Adam: Inspirational speech coming up! *AHEM* "All you need is love... you'll get by with a little help from your friends..."
Spike: And, oddly, that segues nicely into the episode title.
Adam: "... P.S. I love you..."
Spike: Okay. Now that's going way too far, mate.
Spike: Leave everythin' ta me. You go lay down on your creator's slab or whatever and let me handle this.
Adam: One more Frankenstein reference, just one, and I march straight to my agent! Contract be DAMNED!
Spike: You watch! I'll... (ticks items off on his fingers) I'll get Giles to resent Buffy and the others for forgettin' 'im... make Xander suspect that his friends want to ship him off to the army... make Willow enraged and insecure about her girlfriend Tara. And if you order now, I'll throw in a softshoe, no extra charge.
Adam: I'll believe it when I see it.... and spare me the softshoe. You in pink tights is just "Brrrrr!".
Xander: See, Buffy had sex with Angel back around the second season and---
Xander: Ooops. Guess you didn't know that part, eh?
Riley: Bingo, Johnny. Give the man a prize.
Giles: (strumming) "Slow down.. you're movin' too fast... gotta make this mornin' last..."
Spike: Oh god. I thought we had another season before the musical episode?
Giles: (glares) "Feelin' groovy..."
Spike: Didn't ya 'ear me?
Giles: (stops) (stares) (*brains Spike with the guitar*)
Anya: Ahhhh. Nice peaceful Sunnydale.
Spike: (hops by with a guitar around his neck) See if I sing with you come the day! Bloody poofter. And did I mention "OW!!"?
Anya: Peaceful and strange.
Spike: See, Buffy doesn't need you anymore. Resent her.
Giles: How I resent Buffy!!
Spike: Good boy. You get a cookie.
Spike: Somethin' about wantin' to send ya off ta boot camp.
Xander: I suspect my friends! They've forgotten about me since I didn't go to college with them!
Spike: Check mark #2.
Spike: See, your friends think your Wicca magic and new girlfriend are just a phase.
Willow: Suddenly I feel enraged and insecure.
Spike: Like shootin' fish in a barrel...
Forrest: Oh look! Pointy skewer! Think I should run at it! CHAAARGE!
Buffy: Uhm, okay sure. Just don't forget to---
Forrest: (is run through) Ouch. *GURGLE*
Buffy: -- stop before you get too close. (shrug) Yeesh. What a moron. No wonder he and Graham were best pals.
Angel: Hey Buff. I kinda felt like jumping up an hour in prime time. That cool with you?
Buffy: (shrug) Welcome to the 8:00 time slot. Home of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire", "Dark Angel" and "Friends".
Angel: Speaking of which... Who deserves a MILLION dollars a show?
Buffy: Let it go, sweetie.
Riley: You had sex with Angel?
Angel: Could say the same thing about you and her.
Angel: Sex crazed cowpoke!
Riley: Uhhhh. Hair gel guy!
Angel: Comebacks need work, boy. Lots of work.
Riley: Oh! I got one, now! Overbiting black coat!
Angel: Ooookkkeeee... leaving now...
RIley: Hey! Come back so that I can try to insult you some more!
Spike: Yeees! Mission complete! Do a little dance... make a little love... get down tonight...
Adam: Please don't do that.
Spike: Whatever you say, oh most high bad horror movie monster!
Adam: That's it!! SOMEONE CALL MY AGENT!
Spike: I'm, like, the quicker group breaker-uppper!
Adam: No, that's Bounty.
Spike: No, that's the quicker picker upper.
Adam: I thought that was Viagra.
Spike: No comment.
Spike: Yoko Ono! That's who I'm like!
Adam: Just so long as you don't start singing like her.
Buffy: Yes, I had sex with Angel. But would it make things better if I said that I didn't mean to?
Buffy: Oh, by the way... Forrest just got kinda dead.
Riley: *GASP!!* And Graham?
Buffy: Sadly, still among the living.
Buffy: Ooo! But he's unconcious somewhere!
Riley: Well, at least he's in a familiar position.
Buffy: GUYS! Talk to me! What's wrong?!
Buffy: Giles! Say something!
Giles: *hic* Booze is nice. *hic*
Willow: See, no one wants to accept Tara! Who cares if she comes along to all our recording sessions and criticizes our work?!
Xander: And Buff, you and Giles are always writing the songs! When am I going to get my chance to shine? I'm a good writer too, you know!
Buffy: Yeah, well.. Linda and I just got married and we don't need this crap!! (long pause) Erm, anyone else think that we're channeling someone else's bad mojo here?
Giles: *giggles* Mojo! *giggles*
Willow: Well, judging from the fact that I just felt the desire to let my hair grow really long, eat some brown rice and parade around to stop the war... yeah.
Giles: Someone pass me a joint, eh?
Xander: Am I the only one majorly worried about the G-man, here?
Giles: Hee hee hee hee.....
Giles: I smell a cliffhanger! *hiccup*
(The little Grr! Argh! demon floats across the screen in meditation pose.)
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