----- THE WITCH -----
Season 1, Episode 3

Buffy: I have to prove I'm worth something. I have to show that my superhuman strength is only matched by my amazing intellect.. Ooo! I know! I'll join the Cheerleading squad!

Student: So evil! S-so... s-so...
Buffy: Where? I'll kill those vampires!
Student: Huh? N-not vampires. Cheerleaders!

Willow: I heard they're using new cheers this year.
Cheerleaders: RAH! Like, RAH! We ru-ule! And you su-uck! So there!
Willow: Didn't say they were good cheers...

Amy: No self confidence have I.
Xander: Nor English skills apparently.

Masked Figure: I cast my black spell upon Cornilla!
Spell: Error 404. No such character exists. Either hit 'refresh' or check the spelling of the address to insure---
Masked Figure: Damnit.

Xander: Buffy! Would you like to--
Buffy: Gotta go save the world again! Talk to you later, 'k?
Xander: -- out Saturday night. Drat. (sigh) Oh well. I'll just try again later, I guess.
Willow: Oh, I wouldn't worry. You will. At least a dozen times per season.

Mom: Rough day?
Amy: I got an error message on my spell. Life sucks.
Mom (Amy): Especially when your own mother STEALS that life from you!
Amy (Mom): Shut up, Amy!

Xander: Cordelia has been struck mysteriously blind--
Willow: -- that other girl's hands spontaneously combust--
Giles: -- the girl in the science lab had her mouth seal over--
Xander: -- and Buffy's acting drunk.
Willow: Of course, this means the school district will be taking immediate action. (pause) I'm thinking strep throat notice.

Giles: She's casting evil, disfiguring spells by tying up all of these Barbies and slicing them up in much the same fashion that her victims are being attacked!
Mom (Amy): Either that, or she really hates Mattel.

Buffy: Ooo. Slow mo camera work.
Giles: The reversal spell must be working!!
Buffy: Time to once again comment on just how badly our special effects suck this season.

Buffy: Must be one heck of a powerful spell there. Plunging your hands into the bubbling, dark ooze like that... I mean, you're even shaking and everything!
Giles: Not... painful... just... very... COLD!!

Mom (Mom): Grrr! Give me back your body! *THWAP*
Buffy: *THUNK*
Amy (Amy): Probably should have tied her up before switching bodies back.
Giles: Yes, I suck. This has been established. Let's move on.
Amy: To the running away part?
Giles: Precisely.

Buffy: *THUNK* Ow. Note to self: Never tell a dark, nasty witch, "Oh, grow up."

Cordelia: Yay! I can see! Time to go back to being an A-Class bitch!
Girl: Yay! I have a mouth again!
Buffy: Yay! Not tipsy from a lack of an immune system anymore!
Giles: YAY!
All: (stare)
Giles: They, um, updated the... card catalogue. I'll be.. walking away now. Quickly.

(The little Grr! Argh! Demon is wheeled across the screen on a gurney)

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