THE HARVEST -----
Season 1, Episode 2
Giles: You have seen the Slayer at work. You must now join her
in the struggle to save the world.
Xander: And why us?
Giles: Well, because you're both... I mean, you have.... Well.... Eh, just bear with me kid. If you want to be a bloody regular and instantly fall under the "in mortal danger, but we know the character isn't going to kick it" category, you get real close with Buffy.
Xander: They wouldn't try to kill Buffy?
Giles: NEVER! What would the show be then? Blank the Vampire Slayer?
Willow: (laughs hysterically) Buffy, die? That's a good one.
Willow: You have to save Jesse!
Buffy: I'll try.
Willow: Just try?
Buffy: Somehow, I'm thinking his death is a gimme. I mean, did you see him listed in the opening credits as a regular? He has 'expendable' stamped all over him.
Buffy: You again?
Angel: WAH! That's not what you're supposed to say.
Buffy: Another dark, creepy, tunnel? Alright, what hell beastie is creeping up on me this time?
Buffy: Now there's a dramatic scene that just did not live up to the hype.
Cordelia: So, like, Buffy's this wacko with a stick!
Cordelia: What would you know about it?
Willow: Erm, nothing.
Harmony: So Cordelia told me that Buffy is this wack job with a stick!
Surfer Boy: Duude! NO WAY!
Harmony: Yes, way!
Willow: Cordy has such nice, intellectually advanced friends, doesn't she?
Jesse: MWAHAHA! I am a vampire now!
Buffy: And is there anyone who's actually surprised by this turn of events?
Buffy: Jesse's dead. He's a vampire.
Willow: Yep. So I assum--- (pause) I-I mean! GASP! No!
Buffy: No surprise for you either, huh?
Giles: I have discovered what will give this whole show a plot!
Xander: Ooo. Do tell, Sherlock.
Giles: This is the Hellmouth. We are standing directly on top of it.
Xander: Pretty convenient, wouldn't you say?
Giles: Never mock the plot device. Just shut up and play along.
Jesse: I wear black too! For am I an evil vampire who--- Damn, it's hard to talk with these teeph in my mouph. Makeup?
Luke: (in the dark) One! Two! One, two, three! HIT IT! (lights come up) Oh. Sorry, but you know Hollywood... always gotta have a backup career in mind. I was thinking MTV Vee-Jay, myself---
Luke: I feel fear! I feel the Master's hunger! I feel-- *THUNK*
Luke: (on the floor, out of the shot) Quite.
Xander: Alright! That's it!
Jesse: Grrr! Phhhear me!
Xander: Dork couldn't even speak with fake teeth in his mouth.
Buffy: I'm sensing a theme, here. *STAKE*
Buffy: None of these vampires can speak with fangs in their mouth.
Xander: First thing, Season 2, we talk to the makeup department. That was just... sad.
Giles: One appocalypse down, several dozen to go!
Xander: Help me.
(The little Grr! Argh! demon rides his cherry red scooter across the screen..)
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