Clothes-wise: HOLY-SHIT! Alright...I just had to get that out of my system. Okay well, clothes haven't really changed that much, but WOW! Going shopping is so much fun! I have a better sense of fashion now and can actually pick up some cool things in the juniors dept again! I haven't been able to do that in a long time. Granted everything fits oddly because of skin and funky cuts (ex. lowriders do not work with a pouch and a ghetto booty). But I have this fond love of blazers now. You can dress them up, down, whatever, and they still look great regardless. They also hide your baggy arm chickenflesh...Yay! I'm in a strectchy size 18 but mainly 20's and 22's...Some 22's fall off me and some 20's I can't even even squeeze my knees into. I have no idea how that works. I guess it all depends on the brand. But 24's are getting to be a No-Can-Do anymore without a belt. I had a guy friend over and we were having a tickle fight and when I went to stand up to get a drink a water, I damn near lost I pants. No lie. I stood up and they were almost to the bottom of my buttcheeks. He missed it though, thank God. But I thought it was funny.

Food wise: I finally went to see Dr. Alger for my appt. It went pretty good. She gave me a menu of foods I could eat, and should eat. I also got some blood work drawn. I am low in Iron and Zinc. Maybe that explains why I am tired and drained all the time. Eeep! Anyway, She said everything I was eating was pretty good. My favorite foods right now are string cheese sticks, yogurt, juicy juice boxes, pizza, and gordon popcorn fish. I eat ALOT of the first three. The second two, not very often, I just like them. I always try to eat my protein first. It helps when I eat my meals with my family. Which is usually only dinner. But my mom always cooks really healthy, well balanced meals. They include a protein, a vegtable, and a fruit. I don't really like fruit, but I always eat the protein and at least try the veggie. I have to eat alot of yogurt right now because I was on an anti-biotic for an pilionidal cyst and didn't want a yeast infestion. The yucky taste in my mouth finally went away but I change toothpastes like crazy. It's like the mint just gets to me anymore. So now I am using the kids bubblegum flavored kind. The mint aftertaste I found was making me nauseated. I chew gum too, which you're not supposed to because of swallowing (it could get stuck) and the swallowing air factor. I've never had a problem with swallowing gum so I don't really worry. But I find that when my mouth starts getting foamy, that's when it's time to spit the gum out or the air is gonna make me uncomfortable and it's time to get something to drink.

Energy: On a scale of 1 to 10, my energy would be a 6.5. Maybe because I'm lazy or maybe because I have been sick with with pilionidal. But I really haven't felt like doing much of anything. I can drive my own car now and stay up until all hours of the night again but what I need to do is start lifting some weights and get my lethargic ass outside walking. AYE! The fucking sunshine would do me some good ya know? For real.

Overall: Overall, I'm doing very well and have been really happy with the outcome of the surgery. I am looking better, feeling better, and getting healthier. On an overall scale of 1 to 10, right now I'm about a 7.5. Only because I could be doing ALOT more to see results. I should have new pix soon too.

January 2nd, 2005 - Has it already been a month already? Man, time flies I suppose! I'm down 81lbs from my highest weight of 317 and 33lbs from my offical pre-op weight of 269...As of this morning I weighed 236 at 1 month post op! YAY! Not too bad I guess...

Clothes wise: I'm wearing mainly 22's and baggy 24's...Some 18's if they're stretchy...I seem to have saved no 20's in my closet (must've skipped over them somehow back in HS!)...Everything that's baggy is baggy right in the front where my gut hangs down...I'm like Yeah, make it look worse! So if things are tighter there, it gives the illusion that my stomach is flatter which is always a good thing (since I am an "hourglass", hehe)...
Food wise: Things could be a little better...I tend to get sick an awful lot it seems...Not sure on why that is...I don't eat fast and I don't eat that much sugar...Things that stay down one day just don't stay down the next...My pouch has a mind of it's own I guess...Usually things that are fine in the morning, don't agree with me at night...Some things that I like at a month out are water (saw that coming right?), OJ, apple juice, lunch meat (turkey and chicken w/ mayo are my faves...I can eat roast beef and ham but they just kind of "sit there" right now even if I chew them well...), cottage cheese, mashed potates (I try not to eat as much of these now as they're all carbs), yogurt, SF popsicles, and for a snack at night, I found that I can eat PB on saltines...Which is odd because I used to hate PB pre-op! I am thinking I am pregnant...Haha, J/K!!! I heard about these weird food cravings, now I believe them...I tried eating lunch meat at night for protein but I found I couldn't because it also just "sits there" even poultry, until I wake up the next morning, which is a horrible feeling...You wake up thinking there's a rock in your chest! Ugh, it's not good and you want to puke just brushing your teeth...(Oh yeah, that taste in my mouth when I wake up in the morning is gone too by the way...So that's awesome...) I've been craving pizza...I don't know if it's the pizza really, I think it's just the sauce...I love tomato sauce...I used to put just that and cheese together, heat it up and eat it...I didn't even need the bread...I also want pickles...And mushrooms...Must be something missing in my diet...I haven't started chewing ice yet so that's a good sign!

Energy: My enegry level is getting there...I don't sleep all the time like I used to...I've been trying hard to get back on a regular sleep schedule...Getting up and going to bed early...I like being active during the day...My friend is staying home from college this semester so she will keep me busy...We're going to be going to the gym together so that will help boost my metabolism...I haven't driven my car yet...It's been over a month...That's been really weird...Having everyone drive me everywhere...I feel like I'm in high school again, lol...But now it's different because I having for 5 years and knowing what to look for so I'm constantly telling people, "Red light!", "Stop sign!" "Car!"...It's funny, but I'm paranoid...It's like, do other people do that to me when I'm driving? I know my mom does...I really can't wait to get back up to speed though and feel "normal" again...Because I still get tired very easily it seems...I can't walk the mall for hours on end then stay up on the computer all night talking about all the hot guys that were there...It's either one or other now, pretty much...People tell me that it'll take a while to get back to where I was because it was a major surgery and I'm gonna need time to heal, even if I do act alright now...I mean I do feel alot better, but yeah it has only been a month and that's gonna take a toll on my body...So it's gonna take alot of time...But you know me, I'm young and impatient, LMAO! Ready to get back into the swing of things right this second...

Overall: There has been days where I've been really pissed and like OMG, I hate this! WHY ON EARTH DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF!? And yes, this was recent! I know, you're like, C'mon? A MONTH Post-op? Yup! Because I was STILL getting sick for pretty much no reason and it's not a stricture...But it's not my fault...I am doing this whole nutrition part blindly...I have called my nutrionist, Dr. Alger, three times and she has yet to return my phone calls...Her office is booked up until March but yet I am/was supposed to see her SIX WEEKS after my surgery date...So, it's not my fault if I am eating the wrong things...I only know what to eat from what Dr. Rosati has told me, from what other various post-op patients have told me, and what I've read on the internet...Now it won't be fair to me if I have to go back and have a revision because of her not returning my phone calls and making wait and loosing my chance to lose the most weight that I can within my "honeymoon" period...Of course that's me thinking the worse case senario, ya know...It's just hard for me trying to do this on my own...I understand she's busy, but the least she could do is call me back and tell me some tips over the phone in a 15 min. phone call! I am her patient and she has been seeing me for two years! Gosh, woman...Ugh, well sorry for rambling about that...Otherwise, I am very happy when I look in the mirror...I re-organized my closet my closet the other day from the clothes that I had bought myself pre-op...I was really suprised when most of them fit! I mean, they were mainly shirts and stuff, but some of them were larges! I guess I am built funny to have a large fit me...I must have a weird closet or my boobies must've shrunk...Usually things have to have an "X" in front of them to fit over my boobs, lol! Everyone says I look great though...The other thing is that's weird, my girlfriend says the more weight I lose, the shorter I look...Did anyone else notice that? I feel like it too! When I go to the store, everyone around me looks taller! Am I shrinking? She's 5'7", and I know I just found out that I am 5'2" but dayum, it has to be just all in my head right? When I stand next to her I feel so short now! 5'2" in the dictionary is "petite" but this is ridiculous...

December 6th, 2004 - Wow! Guess who's officiallly a postie? That's right, ME! I did it! Thank the good Lord, Jesus, I have made it safely to the other side...It's been relatively easy for me so far...I'm not going to say it's been a walk through the park...I've had my rough spots...I actually had my first experience with "dumping" my third day post-op when I stupidly tried to experiment with tea, splenda, soy creamer, and skim milk...That was NOT pleasant! I didn't even realize you weren't supposed to do that until 15 days out...*smacks forehead* Duh! My mom told me later on... I must've skipped that part *sheepish grin*...That is NOT smart so please DON'T do what I did! Lol...I had a request awhile ago to write about my hospital stay so I will get that done as soon as I can...I get stiff sitting at the computer for a long time...I'll probably add my story into the NavBar or just change the Hosptal Stay list page around a bit...No idea...Well, I am off for a long needed shower...My mom is cooking something and it smells sooooo good! Ugh, but I'm still stuffed from my crystal lite tea, strained chicken/rice broth and SF punch popsicle I had earlier...I feel like I'm about to pop! Clean Up, Aisle 5!

November 27th, 2004 - I've finally had my last Thanksgiving...There's so much to be thankful for this year...I've been having alot of "Last Meal" foods...Pasta, Cinnamon Sugar Pretzels, Oreo cheesecake, I had stuffing and sweet potatoes with marshmellows on them on Thanksgiving Day...I really want my mom to fix me stuffed shells but being as it's so close to my surgery, they would really mess up my digestive track! Not good, lol...I had the last of my pre-op testing the other day...It went good...I also got my approval letter from CDPHP in the mail today...So I'm all set...Dr. Rosati's office called and said my surgery is at 1:20 in the afternoon...That kind of sucks, I wanted to go first...I had wanted to go first only to get it over with because I'm impaitent and hate waiting but I suppose it's okay...There's nothing I can do now...I found out I only stand 5'2" tall at the Dr's office so I've changed my My ObesityHelp.com profile and this website...That's insane...I've been thinking I was 5'4" for the longest time...Like years...Now I'm even shorter than I thought! Uggggghhhhh! Oh well, haha! It's kind of funny...I'm scared and excited at the same time about this coming Thursday...All my relatives have given me well wishes and are praying for me, so that makes me feel safe...My best friend Shannon sent me a big super soft cuddly puppy who I named Frankie and sweet card saying that she's my cheerleader...That made my week! Only 4 more days...Excluding today of course...But who's counting?

November 21st, 2004 - Hey peeps, Nikki here...Hopefully, you've seen that I really have been trying to update my page...Sorry for the confusion of moving things around and whatnot...But, I've made big bold notes at the bottom of the pages just to remind me of what I need to work on...I also have a big pile of post-it's with crap written on them, but it's all HTML stuff and I don't think you care to see that, haha! I usually write down the list of things that I updated for you guys so you would know what to check out first... But I messed up so many times, redid so many pages, and got so frustrated, I honestly don't remember now! It's probably boring to read through all that anyway right? Wouldn't you just rather explore and be like, "Oh hey, that's new!" Don't look at me like that, I like surprises! Well anywho, just wanted to drop in to tell you that things are pretty much settled down now with the site...Nothing else will be moving around (well the links page will change a bit, new ones will be added) except the measurement page might look a bit different once I figure out a new layout for it...So feel free, take time to look around, and make yourself at home...Peace! *two fingers*

November 14th, 2004 - Hey everybody, sorry I haven't updated my site in a long time...I am a total slacker and for that I am truly sorry! I'd just like to thank everyone who has wrote me e-mails and signed my guestbook and even took the time to visit my page at ObesityHelp.com...It really means alot to me! Thank you so much! I've just been so busy trying to prepare for this...Not so much physically as I am mentally...It's really been taking a toll on me, sinking in that Holy shit, this is REAL, it's happening right now and the dominoes are falling...Nothing I can do to stop them, ya know? So yeah...It's all set, I've gone through all my pre-op testing and my signatures have been submitted to my insurance company as far as I know from the 11th...I'm praying that I hear something back from them soon! Please continue to keep me in your prayers that everything goes through without a hitch...I have been collecting so many new links and helpful information to put on here, it's just a matter of finding time to get it done...But it will be done before the 2nd, that I can promise! I'm not going to re-vamp the whole site or anything, I finally have the layout to my liking...I just need to update a few things because I don't even think half the links work anymore, and I've become so much more knowlegable about gastric bypass surgery...I want to be able to give people as much information as I had going into this so that way they can make the best decision for themselves and not go into it blindly...That's why I created a whole new journal just for my WLS journey...If you would like to check it out you may read it by clicking here PyroManiac0nFire's Xanga Site...Be sure to read the first entry, it's all about the main focus of having it online (Soon I'll put it up in the NavBar, but for now you can find it from here) Thanks again for being so patient! *HUGS*

October 28th, 2004 - Hey everyone! Guess what? I GOTTA DATE! Oh yes! IT'S TRUE, IT'S TRUE, IT'S DAMN TRUE! DECEMBER 2ND BABY! Holy crap, 35 days away! Well, everything I heard about Dr. Rosati was right...He definitely doesn't sugarcoat anything...He really shoots straight from the hip and tells you how it is...He basically tells you that you he's going go in, rearrange your insides and give you a tool to work with, but it's up to you to STILL to do all the work...You still have to eat right, follow the rules, and excersize...Once we got to my individual consultation, I found him to be a really nice guy...He had a good personality and didn't rush me through anything...He took his time and answered all my questions...Dr. Rosati and my mom even had almost exact wedding bands which was weird/funny! He gave me alot of important imformation and at the end of our session he asked me if I still wanted to do it and I said yes and he said Alright, lets go look at the calender then! AWESOME! He seemed really excited to be doing the operation because he said that I was too young to be this heavy...I'm like Dude, you have no idea, Lol! So now, all I have to do is get letters from my two psych people (to make sure my insurance approval goes smoothly!) and do my pre-op testing...Then I'm all set for the 2nd of December! Wow, thank you Jesus for bringing me this far! Please just get me to the "other side" (in WLS terms I mean, lol!) My weight today when I got weighed at the office was 277.2 but I think that's because I had all my jewelery on, my sneakers, and my sweatswirt...At home, I never weigh myself in nothing more than a tee and underwear and I come up with 272...So that usually what I go by, lol...Well, I'll keep updating my site as things progress...Love you all!

October 20th, 2004 - Hey everyone! Not really much going on...Only a short 7 days away from my consultation date...Wow, so exciting! Exactly ONE WEEK away! Still maintaining my weight at 275...Haven't gained but haven't lost either...Maybe I can lose a lb or two before then...Gotta cut back on my cals and carbs! I started a bad cereal habit again...Stupid Tucan Sam came out with Special Edition Halloween Froot Loops and I have been eating those like there's no tomorrow because they have marshmallows and are just too damn yummy! *smacks forehead* Once this box is gone, NO MORE SNACKING! Bad girl...Not much new with the site...I said I was going to put the new pix and some articles up but eh, I've been distracted with my personal life and haven't gotten around to it...If I had my ONLINE JOURNAL up, ya'll could've read about it *winks* but um, no such luck as of yet...The only changes I've made to the site is, I've updated the All About Me page, if anyone is interested...I'm off for now until the 27th...Then I'll be updating and letting you know how my CONSULT went BABY! OH FREAKING YEAH!!! Until next time, peace...

September 30th, 2004 - Holy Freaking Crap! Sorry I didn't update ya'll sooner but guess what? I FINALLY got my consultation date with Dr. Rosati! Dude, they called the other day! It's on October 27th at Albany Med at 11:00am...It's a 4-5 hour group session and then after that I have my individual session and I guess I will get my date! OMG! That is soooooo freaking cool man! All I have to do is get a letter from my PCP faxed to Dr. Rosati's office stating that I don't have liver, thyroid or kidney problems before my appt...Now I just have to pray for a smooth insurance approval process! I'm sure it will go fine though...I'm praying for an early December surgery date...Before Christmas ya know? That would be nice...An early Christmas present...I wouldn't want anything else if I had that cuz that would be the best Christmas present ever! I'm maintaining my weight nicely at about 277-276...It's gone back up to 280 this week but it's "that time of the month" so I'm praying it goes back down soon after the weekend! I have new pix to put up in the random gallery so keep an eye out for those...Well I'll keep you updated on how things are progressing...Catch ya on the flipside! Later Dayz!

September 21st, 2004 - OMG! Guess what everyone? I did it! I FINALLY made my 10% weight loss requirement goal! Yesterday, I woke up and I weighed 279lbs on my scale...I contemplated on waiting until my weight stablized or dropped but I was Naaaaah! We're going up to Albany Med TODAY to get this documented! I'm tired of waiting...We need to get this show on the road! So my mom and I drove up to Albany and low and behold their scale said 280.2...I'm sure the .2 was because of my sandals, lol! I was so happy! I'm sure the people in the hallway waiting to get bloodwork thought I was crazy because on the way out I was saying, "Thank you Jesus, Thank you Jesus, Thank you Jesus!"...I wanted to cry! This is so great...You don't even know...It's finally becoming real...I can get my surgeon consultation, my surgery date, my pre-op testing...Then the BIG DAY! WOW! I just have to pray now that all my insurance stuff falls into place...Which I'm sure it will because I don't think God would've bought me this far to just stop here...Wow...That's all I can say...Just WOW! Thank you Jesus! I'll keep you guys posted! Later dayz!

September 13th, 2004 - Hey Everyone! Oh my Gosh, Long time, no update again huh!? I've had a really busy August...If you would like to read about it, please click here. (I have put August's update on the Previous Updates page)...So what is new with me? Well, I've lost ALOT of weight! As of today, I've lost a grand total of 29 POUNDS!!! Bringing my weight to 283! Isn't that fantastic? Yes folks, that means that I only have 3lbs to go to reach my Dr's goal of 280 before she sets me up for my surgeon consult...Oh man, this is freaking EXCITING! *squeals* It is finally becoming REAL now! It's great to be losing weight like this...My clothes fit better, I have an easier time getting around, those 29lbs have definitely made a difference...And you know, the funny thing is...I didn't even USE the friggin' Medifast after I spent $300 on it!!! *nods* Yeah, I've done it all on my own! Willpower and Prayer...God is GOOD people! All the TIME! Can a sista get an AMEN?! Good stuff is happening, OMG the ball is FINALLY rolling! Yayness! As far as page updates goes, I have changed the names to some of the links in the NavBar, I've added new pix to the gallery (Click here to see them), I've changed the layout to the homepage yet again, I've updated the About Me page, and I've added a Shout-Outs page! In the next few days, I'll be adding some very useful info on Gastric Bybass Surgery under the WLS Links section and possibly adding an Eye Candy for Guys page to my Random Fun Things section! (Cuz I'm sure there's gotta be guys out there that stumble upon my page too!) So keep your eyes peeled and check back often! Until next time, Later dayz!

August 13th, 2004 - Well, the weight thing isn't going too bad...I've lost even more...I think I've lost exactly 20lbs...Because I was 317 and now I'm holding around 296...So that's awesome...I'm really proud of myself...With the help of my mom, I ordered some Medifast off of Ebay and once they get my payment from Paypal, they will ship it to me...I'm really excited...I just hope the stuff tastes okay...Because I have enough to last me for exactly 30 days! It better work or I will be mad...But Dr. Lirio prescribes it to his WLS paitents to lose their 10% requirement so it HAS to work right? I pray that it does...I pray that I have the willpower and the determination to stick with it and not cheat! I will be praying extra hard that God sticks with me and sees me all the way thru this!

July 21st, 2004 - Hey everyone! Not much going here in Nikki-Land...I'm very close to weighing in under 300lbs! Right now I weigh 301...That's pretty good...So I'm losing...Slowly, but surely...God must be working some kind of miracle in my life...My appetite has gone way down...I've been doing really good at not eating late at night...I eat at dinner and that's it! No more late night snacking! I find something to distract myself and that usually helps so I don't eat anything...I don't snack at all during the day and I hardly eat breakfast anymore...That used to be my favorite meal...I think all I eat is dinner now with my family...I don't have that ravenous, must-eat-everything-in-sight-bottemless-pit hunger anymore...I feel like I'm finally learning the difference between real hunger and head hunger...Having that ingrown hair on my rear taught me a lesson about how much the body really needs to survive...I could hardly eat anything because I was so sick and nauseous all the time and then I just eventually stuck with it and now it's sort of become habit not to eat alot...But I'm still going to order the Medifast in August because I still have alot to lose...And the more that comes off with the Medifast the less I have to lose after surgery...I'm really praying for a November surgery date...That month has just been sticking out in my mind for some reason so that is what I am hoping for...Please keep me in your prayers...Not really much to update about the site...I did change the pictures on the "Thinspiration" page to the very gorgeous and very talented Ms. Christina Milian so check that out if you get a chance...That's about it...Well I will update you again next month hopefully after I get the Medifast! Until then, Later Dayz!

June 24th, 2004 - Can you believe I've been running this site for over a year? That's pretty amazing if you ask me! I've never managed a site for that long...I usually become bored with them, but not this one! I'm having so much fun documenting my journey...There's not really much to update...I tweaked the front page a tad, that's about it...I also made it so that my online journal link and my surgeon's webpage open up in a new window...That way my page will still be open in the background and you won't get lost, hehe...I weighed myself today and it said I was 310...I haven't been weighing myself recently...I guess I'm afraid that it's going to go up or something...I was scared because I was up to like 317 for awhile! That scared the living daylights out of me, I've NEVER seen that number EVER! I've decided to try the Medifast diet sometime in late August after I have saved up some money...Because it's going to be like $600 for a 2 month supply...I'm going to wait until after my friend comes up to visit so I'm not tempted to eat anything while she's here...I don't know if the Topamax is helping me lose weight or not...I do feel that it is helping me a little with the appetite suppression part...I don't feel hungry all the time like I used to...Well I probably won't update again until July, so take care of yourselves! Until then, Later dayz!

June 13th, 2004 - The weight thing isn't going too good...I haven't lost any weight on my own (in fact I've gained about 5lbs) so I went to the doctors the other day and I asked them if I could try something called Medifast which this lady Sue suggested I try...She said she lost her 10% in like a month...Because apparently you lose like 3 to 5lbs a week...I guess it's like a Slimfast shake, you just mix it with water and drink it and it has all the vitamins and nutrients already in it...So you drink 5 or 6 shakes a day but it only adds up to like 400 cals a day...I think that's how you lose weight...My doctor said she would prescribe it to me but she couldn't because only Dr. Lirio's (another WLS surgeon) paitents could be prescibed to it...But I have a plan! I did find out from my doc's office that you don't need a prescription for it and you can order it online! So next month when I get my check that's what I'm going to do...I have a feeling it's going to be MAD expensive BUT I gotta do what I gotta do to get this weight off! I really don't have many choices left and I'm running out of options here...

May 29th, 2004 - Hello to all my devoted followers! Do you like the new layout? Sign my guestbook and let me know okay? I thought this way looked alot neater than frames and plus frames are semi-complicated and all those buttons were just getting annoying to make, lol...I think I will keep it this way for awhile...It makes things nice, neat, and easy to navigate...Plus I got to put up some cool backgrounds! Well for the weight update, I haven't lost anything else yet...Still holding at around 308/306...But there is good news! My mom talked to this lady at a yard sale today and she has Dr. Lirio as a surgeon...She said that she lost her 10% by doing this PCP prescibed diet called Medifast...I'm guessing it's like Slimfast, just shakes for every meal...You're not allowed any solid food but it helps you lose weight really quick...And that's what I am looking for! So I have an appt with my PCP on Tuesday to see if he will put me on it...He was really all for me having this surgery so hopefully he'll be for me going on this liquid diet to lose my 30lbs...That would be so cool to get down to 270 or so before my surgery...Maybe at this rate I will have it near or around my birthday! Is this the answer I have been praying for so unrelentlessly? Stay Tuned...

April 25th, 2004 - Hey everyone, what's up? Not much to really update here...I added some more pix to my Random Gallery page...I'm thinking about re-vamping my graphics again soon...Yippee! My weight has been at 304/5 for the last couple weeks...I haven't been able to see 303 yet...I think once I make it there, the plateau will be broken...I'm hoping I can make it back down to 296 (how much I weighed on my 2nd nutritionist visit) before May 17th...That way I can at least show her that I maintained...I don't know if I can do it tho...I haven't been drinking my water or doing my exercise...I don't know if I can lose 8 lbs in 23 days...I'm hoping so...I guess I gotta just buckle down and get my ass in gear...

March 15th, 2004 - Hey everyone! No I didn't abandon ya'll! I have moving into a new house and that took up all my time in Febuary...I was so stressed and busy! Sorry about that! But being stressed out and not having alot of time on my hands lead to some REALLY BAD binge eating! I ate alot of junk that is bad for me and because of that, my weightloss slammed into REVERSE! I weighed myself yesterday and I was back up to 306lbs! YIKES! I did have my nutritionist appt. on the 29th of Jan...It went okay...She was really proud I got the 14lbs off which I did but said she still wanted me to lose TEN MORE! WTF, more do I have to do? Some cartwheels? Backflips? Bend over backwards? I can't friggin lose weight, that is why I'm trying to have the surgery in the FIRST place! Now that I've gained back the 14+lbs I lost I have to RE-LOSE them, THEN ten more! Yay! What fun! But anyway, tomorrow I am starting back on my food journal and getting some walking in my schedule...Please pray that I can have some SELF-CONTROL to get this weight back off...I want this surgery so bad I can TASTE it!

January 17th, 2004 - Hey Everyone! Not much to update...My weight is back up to 298...So that kind of sucks...My Nutritional appt. is in 12 days, YAY! I hope that puts me a couple steps closer to having the surgery...I added a random picture gallery under my Before and After pix page, changed the main picture, and changed the Home button graphic...Nothing special, just some little tweaks here and there...Hope ya'll are having a Happy New Year!

December 29th, 2003 - Hey everyone! What do you think huh? I re-vamped my whole page...Let's see, I changed the backgrounds, changed the font color, added lots and *lots* of pretty, new graphics, made some buttons for the nav-bar, added some pix in the Before and After section, and moved all my Previous Updates to their own page! Boy was I busy today! Not much going on health wise...I weighed 295 this morning so I guess that's good...I'm counting down to my birthday now...I'll be the big Two-Zero! Wooohooo, Go Me!

December 28th, 2003 - Hey everyone! Hope ya'll had a wonderful Christmas! Mine was very good, I got alot of things that I had asked for...I've been a really bad girl tho...I slacked off for ten days on my food journal and I ate SO MUCH holiday junk! Ugh, I'm very mad at myself...But luckily my weight is still 297...So I started my food journal again today and I'm going to stick with it this time, no slacking! Oh, remember how I was having pains in my abs? Well I went to the docs and had an ultra-sound done and he said there is a cyst on my ovary...It kind of sucks cuz I'm in constant pain...I've been living off of Tylenol with Codiene which makes me sleepy...Therefore I haven't been exercising like I should be...But I'm hoping to get back on track completely the first of the year because health wise, I'm feeling alot better than at the beginning of the month! If you'd like to read a more detailed view of the trials and tribulations in my life, please click Here.

December 13th, 2003 - What's up? I'm doing really well on my food journal...I've been trying to keep my calorie intake under 1200 a day...I usually get anywhere from 800 to a 1000...It seems to be working, so I'm gonna keep trucking! Oh, Major goal occured yesterday! I'm finally in the 200's! Well it's only 299 but still, that's a major accomplishment for me! Haven't seen that number in God knows how long, lol...I will be posting that on my Goals page...The thing is I don't know how long I'll stay under 300 tho...Because I was really sick on the 7th and 8th and now I was sick yesterday and I'm having really bad pains in my lower ab area...I'm praying there's nothing really seriously wrong but I'll be sure to let you know once I find out! But hopefully I'll be able to reach my goal of 290 or under by the time Jan. 28th gets here...At the rate I'm going, I should! Keep me in your prayers please!

December 5th, 2003 - Me again, just wanted to let everyone know that on the 1st of the month I started a food journal...I never realized how many calories and carbs I actually ate! It's kind of disgusting really...But I'm writing down every SINGLE thing that goes in my mouth, cuz if I lied that would be defeating the purpose...So far I am down to 303lbs, a 9lb loss, not too bad...I just pray I keep on losing! I also added my thinspiration gallery and 101 useless facts about me page...

November 16th, 2003 - Hey everyone who reads my page! Not much has been going on lately...Still trying to lose my weight for my nutritionalist...I was 312 and now I am down to 306...So I guess I have lost 6lbs...Not too bad...It's really hard tho...I cut down on my eating ALOT! I really need to get in some excersize in! Well that's all for now...Until next time, Later dayz!

September 17th, 2003 - I had my nutritionalist appt on Monday and overall it went pretty good...They asked me alot about my past, I had a physical, and 7 vials of blood taken...I've been put on a strict diet and I have to lose 20 - 30 lbs...The bad news is I have about 4 months to do it...Why is that bad news? Because that means I have to wait until January 29th to have my next appt with Dr. Alger which sucks...I was thinking that I'd have my surgery date before my birthday but there's probably no chance that that is going to happen...Tho I am on a waiting list but I doubt there'll be any cancellations...

August 18th, 2003 - How do you like the new layout? Pretty spiffy huh? It took me about two hours to redo the whole thing because I ran into some frustrating complications...But everything is up and running again...The only bad thing is, is that my counter got reset after I had about 900 hits on it...I also added a My Personal Goals...In other news, it's less than a month away from my Nutritionalist appt!

August 3rd, 2003 - Not much of an update but I added some graphics to my homepage to make it a bit prettier...How do you like it? I added some butterfly stuff because I feel that right now I am trapped in a fat coccoon and one day I will be a free sexy butterfly...It was a really boring Sunday, what can I say?

August 1st, 2003 - Well I went on the Atkin's diet, lost my 10lbs and now I have gained it back plus 5lbs...Oh joy...I hate dieting *grrrness*...By the way my Nutritionalist appt. is the 15th not the 18th at 9 a.m....Wish me luck...

June 30th, 2003 - I just wanted to mention that I've been on the Atkin's diet for going on three weeks now and along with exersizing, I have lost 10lbs...Only 20 more to go to reach my summer goal...Hopefully I can make it...

June 16th, 2003 - Added My Quick Stats, Good Foods - Bad Foods chart, Rules of the Pouch, 100 Reasons to get WLS, and Something to Consider pages...Also added more links to the My Favorite Links page...

May 7th, 2003 - Guess what? I have a date with my Nutritionalist! It's September 18th! Well it won't be long now, hopefully I'll have my surgery date before my birthday!