Things You Shouldn't Say to a Cop

If you run into the cops, never say:

• I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
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• Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
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• Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
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• Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
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• Are You Andy or Barney?
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• I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
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• You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
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• I pay your salary!
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• Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
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• Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
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• I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
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• When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
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