You Know You're Asian

WHEN.........

• You have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry.
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• Everyone thinks you're "Chinese" no matter what part of Asia your ancestors were from.
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• You've had to sit through karaoke videos with scantily clad, ugly Asian women attempting to dance and walk around a temple, forest or library.
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• You've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom.
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• Piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back and closet doors.
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• Your ancestors 1000 generations back invented the back scratcher.
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• Your parents expect you'll be best friends with any one off the street in any given area as long as they are Asian.
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• An Asian woman comes on campus and people ask: "Is that your mother? Well then, is it your sister?"
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• Your relatives' houses smell like incense, mothballs or both.
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• Everyone thinks you're good at math.
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• You either really, really want to go to UCI or really, really want to stay away from it.
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• You learned about the birds and the bees from someone other than your parents.
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• People see a bunch of scribbles on a chopstick and ask you to translate.
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• You have to call just about all your parent's friends "Auntie and Uncle."
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• You have 12+ aunts and uncles.
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• Your parents simply cut the green/black part off the bread and say "Eat it anyway. It's still good."
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• You get nothing if you do well in school, but crapped on if you don't.
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• You own a rice cooker or two.
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• Your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head.
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• Your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and "wear it for years to come."
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• YoU lYkE tO wRiTe iN DiS uP aNd DoWn WrYtInG.
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• You have a cell phone or a pager even if you don't need it.
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• Your screen name consists of Azn, and every word in the profile is written in alternating lower case/capital letters
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• you never fit that old asian stereotype of "all yellow skinned slant eyes are smart"
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• You call people "peepz" since two syllables is too complex for you.
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• At least one person in your family owns or knows how to use a sewing
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• You have or have had a fish tank in your living room.
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• You're a price club member.
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• You've been to 99 ranch market at least once in your life.
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• You dilutte your dishwasher soap with water when your running out so
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• You feel awkward when someone asks you to leave your shoes on in their
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• You have something covering your kitchen table to keep it clean.
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• You have instant noodles in your house.
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• You can't go more that five days without rice.
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• You have owned the same vacuum cleaner longer than 5 years.
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• You have at least one relative who lives within an hour drive.
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