QUOTES! ^.^ Yes, here are my random quotes I have collected over the years! Not all of these quotes are humorous, but most of them are. Oh, by the way, these are in TOTAL random order. Ah! One last thing: Some of these quotes may not be exact, but it is something to that extent.
"I'm going to live forever! Got it? LIVE FOREVER!" ~Orlando Bloom
"Coo." ~Ayn (she had said that multiple times....--;)
"On pro side: No longer have to wear poke bonnet. Am pretty again!" ~Legolas from the Very Secret Diaries of Lord of the Rings. (by Cassandra Claire)
"FURBLUNGLE!" ~Sadly, me.
"TROJAN MAN!" ~Desi, Tori... etc.
"My friends, (names not revealed to protect the not-so-innocent) are going as human condoms for halloween." ~Desi (what DO they put in the water over here!?)
"A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins. Nor is he early. He arrives PRECISELY when he means to!" ~Ian McKellen (sp?), playing Gandalf the Grey
"His last name is 'The Grey'? Boy, HE must've been teased in elementary school...." ~Friend, on first hearing of Galdalf the Grey
"Oooh, Dominic Monaghan shirtless...."
"WHERE!?" ~Me and Cory!
"And how's your birth control?" ~Aragorn (me and a friend were doing an RP. It's a LOOOOOOONG story.)
";_; .... *dying at the hands of major spoilers*" ~Me
";_; SHE KILLED ME!" ~Me, because my sister quit my programs on purpose.... ._.
"No, chicken was like... sissy food." ~Some Brit guy on the Jay Leno show.
"I have very weird eyes." ~ The chicken-sissy food guy.
"I was so damn blonde..." ~Lucy Woodward
"DARN! WE SO COULD'VE MADE MILLIONS OFF THIS..." ~Cory ^.^;
"I am an elf... I am an elf..." ~Cory (I use her quotes a lot. ^.^;;;)
"Psh. Like a cow says 'Moo'! Ha!"~ Cory... Again...
"DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT! Why don't ELVES ever have crushes on me?!" ~...Kori/Cory.
"I have no interest in any words that come from your vile mouth." ~ XD A Book of Insults!
"Eyelid cramps." ~ Patrick F. McManus's book, "The Good Samaritan Strikes Again."
"Real ponies don't go oink!" ~Title of a book (by Patrick F. McManus)
"My testicles are behind my ear!" ~Me playing my MALE RP chara. >.>' Do not ask. Just.... don't ask.
"I hope he doesn't make a testicle of himself."
"You mean, 'spectacle'."
"No, I mean 'testicle.'" ~ Peg and Kelly from 'Married with Children"
"Never send a boy to do a man's job... Especially if he's a woman." ~The video box for "Twelfth Night."
"Oh, no! It's half an hour later than it was half an hour ago!" ~Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes
"Oh, sorry, I'm stupid." ~Someone that called in on the local radio station.
"You have no messages."
"See? No one loves me..." ~Rick Roberts (DJ on the radio station...) and his voice mail phone.
"Roadkill!" ~ Me! XD Me and my parents were going to the mall, I saw a black thing on the road and I think it was roadkill...
"Be careful, or be roadkill!" ~ CALVIN! XD
"Aragorn, "No Skillz 2 Pay da Billz" son of Arathorn, m'lord!" ~ *sweatdrop* Some random RP I saw.
"All he does is eat peaches, huh? I knew it... He'll destory a whole race of peaches!! He'll eat the population! Then what'll he eat? Who knows? Maybe, even YOU!" -MIIIIIIIIIIIIKE! ^_^
"Ok, take my brother. He's worse than the Scream guy! He tried to choke me, and with my own tie! AND HE'S ONLY...*counts fingers* NOT EVEN A YEAR OLD!"~ Miiiike!
"((Gah...GOMEN. G-O-M-E-N...brain..not functioning))"~Zach. o_O;
"You failed the vision test?! Ha... I failed the written test..." ~Cody! =D
" ee!! omg! theres a tadpole in my SHIT!!"
"OMG! WE GET FREE PORN!"
"a little kid is an evil little 5 year old who only thinks about power rangers and poke-ee-man!" ~Last three from people my friend knows. ^.^;
"I was dreaming while a drove..."
"Wouldn't wanna be on the road with her...." ~Celine Dion and me. o.O;
"Cow: It's not in my system - Tonight." ~ ???
"For the sake of all things Holy, THE WOMAN KEEPS HER PHONE BOOKS IN HER TOASTER! What more do you want to prove she's crazy!?" ~ I think it was one of my cousins, on my Grandma. x.x
"Good Lord, this is stupid..." ~???
"That saying, "Damned if you do, damned if you don't"- what was it called again? Oh, yeah, PARENTING!" ~John Ritter playing Paul Hennessy on "8 Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughters"
"Am I scaring you already? Heh, the night is young..." ~ Striker!
"*is passed out in an egg chair locked in Stacey's realm* *would be freaked if he wasn't unconsious*" ~Striker...o.o;
"SOB! *falls over* GODDAMN THAT HURTS!" ~Striker. Poor him. Kaedar shot him in the wang and that's his reaction. u.u'
"I wanna give a shout-out to my imaginary friend, who's a space cowboy. And to my boyfriend's pet elephant who got run over by an ice-cream truck, (DJ: What?) and the ghetto-fab person named White Chocolate." ~Weird person on the radio.
(Continue until one of us leaves) ~Me and Cory. X_x And,YES, we REALLY DO DO THIS. I'm 'o.O' and she's 'O.o'.
"You went into her room? That's like a woman's palace. Her personal space. And you aren't dead?" ~Cory, playing Legolas. (In refference to Aragorn going into Kori's room)
"I'm not stupid. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information...." ~Calvin.
Robert: "Is she still there?"
Raymond: No. But what's scary is that I think I just saw a bat fly away..." Raymond and Robert from "Everybody Loves Raymond."
"THAT GUY HAS BIGGER BOOBS THAN ME!" ~Tori!
"Phone books in the toaster? That IS pretty nutty...." ~Striker. XD
"KYOTO: The anagram lover's Tokyo!" ~Futurama ep. ???, "Crimes of the Hot." (Props to Cory for sending me this one.)
"Self-incest?" ~I think it was Mike... I was saying something about a self-insert and I typed it wrong and he read it as self-incest...oo;
"My mind is dirty 24/6. Clean thoughts on Sundays." ~Mike. ^^;
Dad: That's a Hong Kong disease.
Ayn: Oh! I know where we are now! ~Ayn and Dad. Okay, I just HAVE to explain that this was pure chance. x_x;;
"If Ayn is coo, and cookies are coo, does that mean, that Ayn, is a cookie?" ~Me.
"o.o HOLY FZK! IT CALLED ME MIA!" ~Kat, who was once Mia. XD
"Hey, hey. It's me."
"You're a dick."
"...Okay." ~Scott and Logan from X-Men: The Movie.
"I will always be there..." ~Prof. Xavier from X-men "..Watching, waiting, lurking in the shadows!" ~Me. o_O;