Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!

Maria Speaks on the Subject of Humanity

It's about time I buckled down and gave it a shot at a serious rant. Today I'm going to be speaking about one of my personal beliefs. But it's going to have to come with a long story...

If you know anything about me, it's that I'm crazy. I'm the weird girl that walks down the street singing "99 bottles of beer on the wall" at the top of her lungs, and is dressed in some odd outfit that's bound to grab attention. I never used to be this way. Actually, for most of my gradeschool years, the one thing I wanted most in the world was to be popular. All I wanted was to fit in, be cool, be accepted. But this all changed in the 7th grade. That year was the most depressing one of my life. I literally had no friends. I had the "privilege" of writing stories quietly in the corner while everyone else talked and laughed, and I stayed home on weekends with my books. Needless to say, I had more than enough time that year to do a lotta heavy-duty thinking. I also spent a lot of time observing the so called "popular" crowd. I decided that the last thing in the world I wanted was to be in the cool crowd, because they were the ones that smoked cigaretts behind the dumpster after school and were basically wasting their lives away. I didn't want to become that.

8th grade rolled around. I had abandoned my quest to become popular, and made the best friends I could ever ask for. I was traumatized from my horrible 7th grade year however, and was VERY paranoid about my relationships with others. I must have cried once every other day, if not every single day, merely because I felt like I wasn't loved. If there was one thing I learned in the 8th grade, it was to open my eyes and pay attention. I was surrounded with people that cared about me, and I had never realized it. Until too late. Towards the end of 8th grade I had established a ring of good friends, and I severely regretted the fact that I hadn't grown closer to them sooner. I still can't forgive myself for aspiring to become popular in the earlier years of grade school, because I probably would have become friends with them sooner.

8th grade left. High school came. All of my close friends went to different schools. I was basically starting over with my new high school. Looking back at my gradeschool years, I decided that I had made the biggest mistake I could have made: I hadn't been true to myself. Nearly everything I had done was to fit in and be accepted. Even in the 8th grade, I was always afraid of losing my newfound friends, so I had been as careful as could be. But that wasn't the real Maria. Nobody from my old gradschool EVER saw the real Maria. I resented that, and I swore that in high school I would be true to myself, and show the world who I really am. Freshman year was fantastic, because it was the year I really opened up for the first time. I was myself... and I had a blast! I met all kinds of new people, and I can say now that I have the best friends in the world (and I love you guys so so much!).

In high school, a new word entered my vocabulary: prep. For the sake of writing this, a prep to me is the equivalent of someone belonging to the "popular" or "in" crowd. Now, once I started high school, my new goal became the opposite of my elementary school goal; I did everything possible to not become a prep/popular person. In fact, the word "prep" became an insult in my vocabulary (it's not anymore, but I'll get to that ina minute). I resented preps, and made fun of them behind their back. I gave into stereotyping, and blindly assumed that all preps are mean, snobby, ungracious, and hate all others different from them.

Once shocking news article forced me to rethink my ideas. It was a story about a school massacre similar to Columbine, except this one was prevented. They said that the plan of the people involved was to sneak guns into school and into the bathrooms under black trenchcoats, then come out shooting to kill. Their targets were bullies, teachers they hated, and preps. My mind went immediately to myself and my friends. I knew people who wear trenchcoats... what if they were associated with killing? And what if I was thought of in the same way because I spent time with them? I re-read the article, but this time lingered on the word "prep". You know, preps are people too. I started to cry at the thought of someone hating a group of people so much that they would want to kill them. And then I thought of how I hated preps myself, and started to cry harder. About the same time, there was an incident between my art teacher and me. There was a disagreement over what day I was going to give my art presentation, because I was going to be absent on the day we had previously agreed on. Fuming, she told me that I WOULD give my presentation on that day, or I would receive a C on my report- at most. After class in the library, I hid behind some books trying to block out angry tears. One of the girls in my class, the preppiest one in my class I might add, came over to me and asked me how I was doing. She said that she thought what my teacher was doing was really unfair. Then she said that if I ever needed someone to talk to, she would be there for me. After she left, I didn't bother trying to stop the tears. Previously, I had hated her existence because of her preppiness. But... she had just proved to me that preps could be nice too.

Of course, those two instances prompted a LOT of thinking. And I could only reach one conclusion: there is good in everybody. There is good in the preppy girl from my art class. There is good in the homeless man who sleeps on a park bench. There is good in the scary-looking teenage boy who dresses in black, wears chains, and spikes his hair. There is good even in the people involved in the prevented school shooting. Good can come from those you least expect it.

Why am I writing this? I guess I'm writing it to help you realize that we're all the same. What's the difference between a prep and anyone else in the world? Nothing. The only difference is the lable that's stamped upon them. I know some awfully mean preps, but I also know some preps who are surprisingly nice to everyone. For contrast's sake, there are punks out there filled with hatred, but also some of the nicest people I know are punks. So please, I am BEGGING you, do NOT judge people before you get to know them. I've made that terrible mistake more times than necessary, and I finally learned my lesson. We, every single person on this planet, has the potential to be the best that we can be.

Next rant
More rants
Home!