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The Religion of Mumbo

Welcome to the official site for the religion of Mumbo. I, Maria Turtle, am the founder of this lovely religion. Would you like to see our mission statement?

The religion of Mumbo promotes individuality, self-expression, and the healing power of laughter. We strive to laugh at life because life is so funny. We are a non-exclusive religion, we accept people of all religion and race and species (so long as you are not a monkey). We rock.

Wasn't that fun?

Anyone can become a member of Mumbo. You just need to at least read the mission statement and somewhat believe in it. We have a large pantheon of gods and goddesses, but only the One Supreme God of Sam is necessary to worship, because Sam is cool and is powerful and it's a good idea to suck up to Sam. As long as you worship Sam, feel free to worship any other of the gods/goddesses listed. Or heck, you could even not worship Sam (although I wouldn't try that, s/he might get pissed) and worship one of the other gods or goddesses. Just don't tell Sam I said that.

Here is our list of gods and goddesses as of now. If you are interested in joining Mumbo, information is on the bottom of this page.

Sam~ Supreme God/dess; appears in 3 different forms: Turtle, Jackelope, and Dancing Purple Cow Wearing a Pinstripe Suit

Murphy~ god of irony, humor, and annoyances

Dave Thomas~ god of good burgers

Mister Cheesecake~ god of cheesecake

Pyro~ god of fire and patron of people who are bald because they burnt off their hair by igniting their cat and having it jump on their head

Elvis Presley~ god of rock 'n roll and patron of formerly sexy fat men

Heathcliff~ god of revenge

Brendan Fraser~ god of all things "honey"

Tigger~ god of bounciness

Shrek~ god of onions, individuality, and big smelly green people; patron to the misunderstood

Emperor Kuzco From "The Emperor's New Groove"~ god of llamas

Sir William Shakespeare~ yes, in Mumbo Will has been knighted. He is the supreme and ultimate god of theatre and likes to pretend that he has more autohrity than Sam. We like to humor Sir Will.

Emily Bronte~ goddess of writing, patronness to female writers (and male if you ask nicely)

We also have, as of now, one saint, and that is Saint Melissa of the HOT: Holy Order of the Turtle. HOT is a denomination of Mumbo. We also have the Jeepers denomination, as well as the DAP: Dolphins And Porpoises denomination.

There is only one thing you need be wary of. In case you've been wondering, there is a Devil. He appears in the form of a monkey. Beware, for he will try to tempt you by impersonating Sam and occasionally appearing in a pinstripe suit. You have been warned.

Still wanna be a member? Just go here, fill out the form, hit send, and boom! You're in. Your name will be posted on the members list as soon as I receive it. Yep.

Current Members of Mumbo

Not sure if Mumbo is for you? Go here.

This site is by no means supposed to be taken seriously. If you pray to Sam and get an answer, I will be extremely surprised.

Run home