mah thoughtz

meh xanGa

June 8

6 more days.


- english puppet show n chineSe final


- Lab practical n chinese final 2


- Ap world history final


- hurrie hurrie onlie 3 more dayz


- Bio term paper, Bio Final, Math plaCement test n transfer paperRs


- o m f g. finalllyyyy tHeRreEEeee!~!!!!!~! LAST DAI OB CLASSES!!~! xDDDDDDDDDDDD NO MORE BS *puahah except wed is bio reGentz but fuQ dat* YaYyyyyyyyy YaYyyy =]]]]]]

May 30

i can not wait till i get out of science. 12 days of real school left and still counting-

May 29

I LOVE YOOH ROXY xDD keke look at her xanga site yooh pplz xD {pnayxthug} =] too swEet. dun werrie ill come to visit yooh. yooh mah grl lub yooh liek krazie seriously witout yooh i dunno wtf i would do in sci. thanxx

May 25

heYy so todai is saT da weekend rah before memorial dai n im stuck at home cause i hab so much hw which by the way i had not starteD yet. Too lazie yet soo bored righ now. so ima juss put some thoughtz down. while i was bored, i was online cheqin out some xanga sitez n people's profilez. n i realized that almost everythin dat i read, there was always a problem in there life. for ex. i saw at least 3 "life is shit" on pplz xanga's and as for profilez there was so much critiscm bout life and problems n shiz. It finally hit mah thick head that everyone has problems, some worse than yours and some petty compared to yours. Life is all about ups and downs no matter if you want it or not, yooh cant choose between that but wa i learned is that yoh can choose the way you want to live it. everyone has problems and everyone is going throo shiz n it takes a lot of courage to face it and not run away from it. Lets say you and someone else have the same exact problems..the thing is one person could go about thinking of suicide or be depressed while the other is having the time of their livez still fullfillin every goal they made for themselves. no matter how much you try to argue, if yooh reallie thought about it i think yooh would come to agree with me. As i write all this shiz down im realizing a lot of thingz. i been a bitch to mahselves lately, i can say all this shiz but still im doing the total opposite. im running away from my problems and my problems seem petty compared to a lot of people in the world. It does show who your troo friends are tho, no matter how petty or big your problems are or whatnot friends should stick by you throo them all. n i learned dat dere are not manie people who will do that for you. So hea i am at this point at this stage at this phase where im finding my true friendz and the ones who were never or should have been my friends in the first place. Wow dis shiet is madd long well datz basically all mah thoughtz rah now.. but let meeh be a dumass and juss go against everything i just sed. i think i made my desicion. im going to transfer.

May 20

itz mahh bDAY!~~! THAK YOU TO ALL OB DA PPL DAT SED A HAPPIE BDAY TO MEEH I APPRECIATE IT SOO MUCH. SERIOUSLY, YOOH DUN KNO WA 2 WORDZ CAN DO TO DA HEART. I LOVE YOOH GUYZ. maDd big upz to biG jenn n mark E. fer callin up out ob nowhere juss to say happie bdai. n maria n euniCe i lub yooh grlz keke thanx fer da happie bdayy xDD i love yooh guyz liek krazie.. azn kro0o in hillz lub yooh guyz too. n big big biGGgg upz to winnie lub yooh grl soooo much thanx fer everything todai. madD funn eben tho bugged out lie 3 hrz later. BIG propz to some ill bx ppl. (wow this is da first thing i ever sed something good bout science lolzz in dis whole journal payGe. startin from oct 15 puahaha.) yooh kno which sci ppl yooh are since i dun hab manie neway puahaha. yooh guyz are too ill xD. Thank yooh guyz fer makin mah bday such n ill dai lub yooh soo much, wa u showed meeh todai some go0od n some bad showz meeh who were troo to meeh n who will alwayz be chillz wit meeh.

Mark Sarmiento - MaDddDd propz to yooh.. lub yooh BrO, thanx soo much fer da jacket n da hat eben tho i onlie wore it fer liek a few blockz before it was time to go home keke. thanx fer da manie happie bdayz n everythingGg else. u n kev bettuh spark meeh keke i want mah bday present. heyy i never got dat bracelet u sed u was gunna give meh from da phillipinEes. GrR. haha lub yo0oh liek kraziEe big upz to yooh. no doubt no doubt yooh mah Gbro fer lyFee xD (keke mark is makin meeh write dis.) na na im jp im doin it on mah own. much luv 1.

May 14

AHh juss came baq from FL MADD fun. eben tho onlie liek half ob us was deR n we didnt EbEn do nethin but it was juss maDd go0od break fer meeh n i def. needEdD one. Props to suphu for alwayz jumpin in at da right timEe. Big upz to SF who alwayz be brightining mah life up, special shoutz to mah grl mai. i love yooh liek kraziEe grl sis 4 lyFeEe no doubt. maii i tink i should sue lolzz i got da ill scar on mah hand puahaha. o yea fer all ob SF juss wanted to say i didnt hab a thing goin on wit neonEe okaEe? xD juss a go0ood friend, Bro aiiiiigHhh =) ahhh madd fun i wanna go0o baQ. damn too bad i had to miss da BBQ. n eVeEyYy yooh lookeD so prettiEee in da floweR grlz thinGg keke. chek out evey's site fer piCz

Eve's page

May 6

AiYo~ 2 wordz- im jealous.

fuQq life sux i rillyy neeEd to get out ob here.

April 27th

churchh todai madd fun madd borin in between lolzz. it was prettie goo0od i guess. gunna go to CT next weekz prolly prettie co0ol. now im chillin at mikie's crib sleepin ova except we not sleepin hahah. it is now 5:36 am. havent slept n im madDd awake juss bored now lolzz dey all watchin porno haha some retarded porno haha. happie bday mikiEeEeeee. lolz his ass sleepin rah now. it all go0ood i had mad fun todai dun wanna go baq to sko0o. hab a big ass ap test. it all go0od i hope dis day neva endz. xDD

April 26

todai was weird. for some strange reason i had an OK day at science but once i got to hillz it became werse. how u figure dat? juss wanna get somethin out- im tired of being the one to apologize im tired for getting blamed on stuff that was unientional and i was doing it for a reason. but instead im getting hated on it. n im tired of not neone caring or listening to me. sometimez i think some stuff dat i would never thought i would think. sometimez i wonder..

April 24

hey went sleepin ova meganz crib madd fun yo lolzz. we didnt eben do nethin haha too bad pump was closEdD. damn yo caroline too slick too slick lolz. yay n i leaRNED how to rave todai keke xD todai was prettie funn not much to sayy.

April 19

okaEe mood swinGsss.. leabe meeh da fuq alone. i dont need neone, in da end itz all about u neway. eventually all dat gunna happen is u get hurt. so bounce da fuq out if datz wa all yer hea for.

April 16

I didnt eben do nothinn todai keke.. n i need to go to da friggin library ackz~ o but wErDd i actually had a rilllyyy go0ood dai todai tho. first dai i had fun in bx sci.. figuRe dat

April 15

A simple hi can change so much. It could change your whole perspective of someone. fo realZz

April 12

ackz!~ mah entry got erased fer dis day, so hea i am retypin wa i tink i wrote lolzz. well happie belated 1 day bday to DeRek and Happie 1 day earlie bdai to winniEe. Sorrie yer bday didnt turn out the way it was suppose to. dun werrie there always another time. o yea for the ppl readin dis. I have reasons why i act the way i do and why i do the things i do. so if u dun liek it den fuq u cause i learned a lot dis yr n dat was dat fuq hedz cause it isnt worth it. it rilly isnt. but watever, dang yo todai was madd bullshiet dai. o ya n derek im sorrie fer ruining yer bday too. N u may not know it but i gained extra respect for a certain somebody todai n started to lose madd respect to another. waTeVer yo fuqen stoopid ass sheit i wanna go to sleep lol. goodnite u ppl

April 6

o myyy it saturday.. todai mah last dai ob freedom since tommz is church xT. im bout to go to sleep fer liek 10 hrz cause fo sho i aint gunna get enuff sleep wen skoo start agen. GrRrr.. i dun wana go baq to sko0o! wen im finally havin fun since liek feb break.. DaMn iTT i fuqen hate science!~ GrR i am def. transferrin out. stoopid alreadie payed da bus company she better get a refund lol ima laff at mahself if dats da reason why ima stay in science next yr. lol on da happier siDe yesterdai started out to be a "could be better day"- amanda words lol- but it ended a go0od dai. jus being in yellowstone n bowling eben tho i hate bowling which i did not play was all go0od. im happie fer tommy n amanda- hope everythin goes well between u two xD

April 3

ahh it wed alreadie! o man dis spring break went by wayyyyyyyyy tooo fast. time flies wen u habin fun. damn lol. n madd bday comin up damn lol. o yeaa i got mah nailz n eyebrows done todai in total it was $26. damn dat a lot but i rilly liek it soo it all go0od. i was suppose to spend $10 more todai on a blunt but den i got lazie so i juss went home. mebbe tomm. damn i need a job. hahaha. ugh i didnt start ne ob mah hw. n i rilly aint wanna go back to sko0o. ugh n i had religion todai, didnt eben get a chance to chill wit sujin xT ah wellz anudda dai. all in all todai was good. xD

March 29

So far so go0od.. luvin dis spring break liek a biatch. it def doesnt outdo last yr tho, gotta admit last yr was madd fun lolz. but dis is juss as go0od cause even if we dun do much it juss a week to take a big ass break from all dat bullsheit happenin in mah life. juss let go n be happie fer once. lovin dis sheit liek crazie. todai i went to see ice age lolzz it was so0ooo kyoote.. rah amanda~! haha estoopido tommy fell asleep. n yesterdai omg we went out at 1 n fer 6 friggin hrz we did sheit. lolzz we kept askin each other wa u wanna do n we ended up eatin talkin n walkin lolzzz. yeaa n ppl was kinda down yesterdai. it made meeh feel kinda down too friggin u get sucked into liek a sad atmosphere yo. but sheit fuck dat i had fun yesterdai better den scienCe. xDD hope dis break goes by SLoWlyYy.. xD dat it is all fer todai.

March 27

HAPPIE BDAY JOE!~ sorrie i didnt get a chance to say it in school todai. hope u had an ill bdai. =]. heyy to a special someone- i aint kno u well n sometimez u annoy da sheit out ob meeh by callin meeh certain stuff but i kno u didnt deserve wa happened to u n im juss sayin dat eben doh i dun kno u well i hope u are ok n if u need nethin ill alwayz be hea. xD. on da bEtter side ob tingZz 2 whole fuqen weekz ob spring break!~ no bullsheit fer 2 weekz- no haterz no traitorz n no sheit talkerz. damn ima be lovin dis sheit liek kraziEe

March 22

HAPPY BDAY LAURA~! hopeee yo0oo liek yer present lolzz xD. todai was a lot ob fun, dis day brightenz dis whole payge up heh heh... well first ob all in sko0 eh.. it was da same but it was a lot better i think.. xD excepically 9th pd well except fer 1 thing but she can go fuq herself up da ass cause i kno damn well i aint do sheit to her. but NEWAY i had fun todai lolzz. after i went to fridayz to celebrate laura bday ugh ate too much man mah tummy began to hurt. well n den after daTt we went to go see mo0oobie (showtime)it was ok it wasnt all dat great but it was still madd funz. n den we went to mickey d's fer about 2 secondz n den to da gardenz fer a lil bit. datz it n den came homEe madDDd frEeezin mann. but itz all go0od all werth it. now yo down to studie n get mah ass off dis comp. lolzz tata !~ xD

March 18

damn i juss had a change ob thought.. heh heh heh >=]. HAPPY BDAY AMANDA~! I LUB YOO. hope yoo habin da illest bday ob yer life. u kno ill alwayz be der fer yu no matta wa. yu mah Grl. xD lub yoo lotz.

March 14

WtFf?? Trollz are fuqen beASty lookin~ damn yo. why not a dwarf?? GeEz at least dey a lil kyo0oter. n yo- yoo can fuq him up ok? i dun mind nemore fuq wa i sed todai.

March 13

hahaa madd funniee i gotta write dis down todai at nancy house lolzz caroline n nancy made a whole throo her wall lolzz. MaDd funnie yo da size ob mEehHh!~ wa da hell u guyz do neway lolz all u did nancy was bump into it. haha. madd funnie. lol juss had to write dat down.

March 1st

yayy todai a fridai! but sheitt i failed mah math test i missed so manie answerz! dere goez da doing good fer da 2nd term. sheit mann i was soo pissed. n now im sad.. ima fail dat shiet o so lovely. o well at least yesterdai was semihappie. Tommy n MarkiEe came down to science xD made everythin so much more bright. hope u guyz come down agen n hope it wasnt dat much torture fer u lolzz. watever... i dun rilly got much to say hea. juss hopin fer tingz to get bEtTer xT

Feb 23

GRr i was soo close to getting a tongue ring soo fuqen close but no0oo. sheit man i tink i offically given up unless liek someone come up to meeh yo sheit.o wellz. heyy juss wanted to give a shoutout to shana. i lub yo0oo lolzz so swt alwayz mah grl yo. damn i wonder where he at now shana u tink he on da plane now? GrR lolzz. yay tommy better be comin down to science. happie earlie bday to ting n eunice. xD. wellz todai is sat after tommz no more break. 6 weeks of bullshit. den spring break!~ yay!~ xDD o fuq dat remindz meeh neone wanna spot meeh $40. i friggin snapped mah contactz GrR. now i wun be able to see sheit hehaheha. kkz i still need to update da picz dat i hab from upstate. ok ill do dat later lol. im done ta ta Feb 9

dangg so much has happened da past few days and weeks... well went to upstaste madd fun and all... it wasnt all dat great wen we came back. well neway i do hab some picz ob it i juss need to put dem up, ill put it up soon. fuq dat i dun care i still wanna go baq next yr lolzz. ill go by mahself xD hehahehehah okk nm j/k. Skoo still sux liek hell i did horrible on mah report card mah ass needz to pull dem grades up. chinese new year comin up.. prob not gunna be as fun as last yr but i hope i still have fun and i do something. Been in nj juss dis weekend it was madd fun since der was a lot ob pipo.. n hopefully u guyz are def gunna come down next week to NY. can't wait... i didnt eben ask mah mom yet but itz all good she'll be liek o retreat people! how come u never tell them to come over shure they can.. and while your at it you can break night too.. lolzz. o yea n check out mah picz site u guyz i got new pics up okiee n soon ima hab more from upstate. kkz datz it noww xD

Jan 23

mann juss watchin da dayz roll by, tryin to enjoy mah midterm week as much as i can. i failed da bio midterm by da way. neway *everydai i be prayin fo u hopin u guyz will get better. but everydai it seemz hopeless than the last im tryin to be positive i tink im doin a go0od job but how long can i keep it up witout breakin down, all i wanna say is -I LoVe YoOo n thanx fer alwayz keepin it real wit me-

Jan 18

Damn todai i BuGgGgeDdd out yo. freakin spilled coke all over mah jeanz n timbz n aronz sleeve lols *sorrie aron haha o sheitt man dat wasnt eben a lot n it wasnt eben dat go0od n i got soo fuqed up. n no i was not fenine fer it shoot- it was madd fun took madd retarded picz dat i wanna freakin see lol. i wasnt readie fer ne ob dem shoot ima prob come out so0oo funking lookin lolzz. aiItEe xD

Jan 4

Heyy wow i hab so much to write.. havent updated a lot cause i hab so much freakin hw to do.. but i did update da dedications and im still workin on one group. Soon the pics will be updated too, mebbe itll be done around Jan 15th? somethin like dat. Happie Bday to mah sis which was yesterdai, love ya lotz. Also durin da xmas break i went to FL it was hella cold!~ haha but it all good it was fun. I miss da SF croo alreadie~ hope to see yoo guyz soon on dat beach we suppose to hab!~ lolzz. okieEe i think datz all tata yoo guyz!~ xD

Dec 20

wow 20 dayz i habent written in dis. mayn been madd busie wit sko0o wErk.. 3 term paperz due in 1 week can u believe dat?? GrRz i betcha i failed it too. mayn averagin an f, 2 c's 1 a and da rest b's lolzz. yoo kno u like tha. Skoo been gettin ok, mah grl roxy i tink dat how u spell it did mah hair too bad i didnt take picz lolzz o well ish all go0ood. YaY im goin to FL tommz!~ ugh i betta hab fun or else ima cryy lolzz. it has to be better den hea tho. datz fer a fact, if i fall into da river and get bitten by a crocodile i bet itll still be better den fuken stoopid bx science xD. oo i went down to halsey yesterdaii maDd fun~ tommy yoo suck.. guess wa i saw dis pretty grl from science in flushin n too bad u didnt get to see her u kno yyy??~! cause u didnt come wit meeh datz y lolzz. okk time to SleEep n go to fl tommz, merry xmas to all ob u!~ baii!~ see u in 2002 xDD

Dec 1

HeYy Happie Bday Jeff!!!~! lolzz i had madd fun chillin wit u n everyone else todai. n black knight was madd funnie hahaz. ish all go0ood mayn u kno at least 5 people asked meeh how tall i was/how old i was n dey thought liek 10 or somethin hahaaz. GeEz i look dat small?? =D todai was a happie happie dai hahaz.

Nov 30

woww haven't wrote in hea in a while.. been madd busie wit skool werk. GrRz n im still doing reallie badly lolzz. but hey i got a 91 on mah math test and an 85 on mah ap wrld history so im doin better datz good. todai mayn der was a rumble i never saw dat manie kyoote hedz in mah life all at da same time tooo lolz. Mayn dat was all so traumatizing da whole deal.. but i dunno i guess ish all go0ood.

Nov 9

todaii was an absolute horrible dai. damn i juss realize i hab so much complainin up in dis payge... too bad i aint start dis wen i went to mah old skoo. everythin went wrong todai everythin pissed me off like sheit. except fer vball where dat was fun where we won n i got to play too =DD n also at nite i was talkin to mah GbRo fer liek a longg time where i got some thingz figured out. =D tenx derek =D neway damn all i gotta sai is i hate traitorz n dey try to be all go0od agen liek nothin happen n den fuk a dai lata dey do da same sheit ova. i tink der is somethin reallie wrong wit me.

Nov 8

- if someone betrays u the first time, its their fault. if dey betray u for a second time it's yours.-

wtf is wrong wit me?

Nov 2

Hrmzz had a vball game todai at kennedy.. we won!~ n i got to play tooo ^_^ so happie so happie.. den had some yummie chinese food daym so much msg lolzz. n den i saw madd pipos while i was goin home so i walked dem liek halfway homez madd funnie dem estupido people wanted to be "the one" ::cough:: shariff n tim::cough:: all go0ood all go0od.. n den i saw some drunk ass pipo up in 175, hey it all good dey had half a 40 left.. ::yum yum:: too bad it too lil to get drunk off ob tho, o well den i felt kinda weird cause all dem pipo be makin out GeEez haha naw jp jp.::cough:: NeWaY at halsey i saw mah BrO's. but i dun liek u guyz no more u pipos ditched meeh n went to see da one witout meeh GeEz.. haha it ok tho ima go see it bah mahself liek a loserrr ^_^ lol yu guyz madd fun to talk to n den mah nigguh mike rode meeh home on his pegz n den we had a long ass talk about everythin.. TeNx MiKe dat was FuNnNnnn =DD

Oct 31

Todai halloween =) naw but dis is a bad halloween so freakin boring. i spent liek 4 hrz sleepin on da 7 train!~ GeEz n i got home at 5 pm sharp. GrRz lolzz haha ish all go0od i guess... otha den dis nothin else.. o yea n mayn at least 5 people came up to meeh todai n was liek omgg audrey u still didnt grow! lolzz n o yea denx mark fer da candie =) n tommy (n mark i tink) fer da eggz.

Oct 26

"Tell her I'm your man, you're my girl I'm gonna tell it to the whole wide world Ladies say I'm your girl, you're my man Promise to love you the best I can" o sheitt lolzz markiee watta good singer haha.. i hadd MADDD fun todai.. eben tho we was freezin our buttz off. n i knoo da guyz didnt hab dat much fun i think cause it was too cold but i dun care lolzz i hadd mad fun chillin wit u guyz. mayn expecially wen we made dat human blanket lolzz except stoopid amanda n mark thought dey was too good fer us haha. MaRkk yu owe meeh madd sheit u besta get it fo meeh so0oon before i go kik yer butt n lolzz it was madd funnie wit da skittlez o sheit u got madd good aim hahaaz. n alsoo wen i first came down i saw one ob mah ol nigguhz jonathan. i lub yo0ooo!~ habent seen u in da longest yo... u bess not be in sped in spring field lolzz ^_^ u kno im playin wit ya. mayn u mah fatha yo0 denx fo everythin n i mean it.. lookin out fo meeh through beef n ::cough::harrasment dat neva happened::cough:: hahaha u kno u didnt HAVE TO threaten him... lolz tis all go0ood yu bess be doin good!~ hope to see yoo soon n in da mean while keep it G cause if u turn retarded i am disownin u as a father lolzz. i lub yo0oo all o yea n also HAPPIE BDAY DENISSE!~ denx fer da jacket shana n denisse eben wen yer asses was freezin lub yoo guyz... n nicole i lub yer hugz hahaa tenx fo everythin. 1 =DDD

Oct 25

ARGHZ I REFUSE TO GO TO PTA WIT MAH MOMZ I DO NOT WANNA STAY IN DAT SHIET SKOO MORE DEN I HAFTA. omfg if she makez me go ima thro da ill tantrum.. GrRz. why is it dat once i started science im so freakin depressed but wen i was in mah old skoo, if somethin hella bad happened to meeh ill juss be liek it ok ill get ova it n still be happie?? but now it liek every lil thing i over exxagerate it n den it makez meeh feel liek shiet? mayn ima try hard not to be depressed n over exxagerate but it hard.. it reallie is now. =T

Oct 23

Heyy skoo goin ok now.. it aint DaT bad but it still bad lolz. juss livin it as it goez.. madd stuff to look forward too tho, cant wait till fri where i got a half dai n i getta go chill wit mah ol skoo kroo. n on sundai i get to go to a partay!~ ima be a gangsta fo halloween lolzz. ima take sum picz n put it on dis site lata on. n den next wed be halloween!~ one ob dose daiz ima chill wit mah ol skoo azn kroo once agen =DD. n den also on mondai i got mah 2nd vball game =DD. wa a wonderful wai to end da week n start a new one. ^_^ o yeaa i wanna do mah hair too btw ne one kno how to do braidz or twisties? sumtin gangsta yo lolzz

Oct 18

My dayz seem to alwayz be good and bad. Actually todai was a lot better den all ob da otha daiz.. so technically out ob dis week it was a lot better. i mean skoo wise i am doing ok now.. wateva happened in my skoo deadend... i think lolzz well so far so good neway academically (beside da cuttin n so..) im doin prettie good.. so hey it ok now so far. HowEvEr, my nigguhz from my skoo got jumped.. i mean i was juss chillin in my 1st pd class wen my grl told meeh wa happened.. i was liek EH??? mayn wtf stoopid ruskiez. cant fite one on one GeEz i scurried mah ass down.. cause i wanted to jump in too cause i mean dey are my nigguhz n i aint eba gunna leave dem eben if it was a guy fite.. mayn GRRz

Oct 16

from everything that just happened yesterdai, todai i think i at least made one good decision n dat was to see and visit my old school. Even though it was only one day, i learned so much and i felt so much better because of manie people. Even tho i may get into sum deep shit tommz academically n socially at least i can have dis one dai to look back on through my next set of hard times. i think dis will keep meeh going for now, i juss wanted to say ThAnK YoU fer all those people who respect me and who walked with me through life through da good timez n da bad timez n are still hea fo meeh righ now.

When i walked in to my jhs, i was greeted by manie people n like enthusiastically too. guyz you kno who you are but wa u dun kno is how much dat affected me. i juss wanted to say to all those people who face had a big smile wen dey saw me todai, thank you n u dunno how good dat felt to me. I guess i havent seen a real smile for a while and havent felt that close to nebodie either till todai. thank you guyz so much seriously, you guyz affected me in such a good way that it liek fer a short amount ob time i felt like i didnt have nething to worry about. thank you n if you guyz eva need somethin no matta wa it is ill be der fo u i love you. Also one more thing i give madd respect to mah grl shana santos, somehow todai u was maybe one of the biggest reasons why i had such a good day thank you i love u grl.

-U dun kno wa a simple hello could do-

oct 15

im goin through a diffuclt time right now. i guess it isnt such a big problem compared to many others righ now in this world. tho it feelz liek i cant talk to nebodie bout it seemingly it like i cant trust neone nemore. everything i do is wrong everything i do is a mistake. i ask myself how can i be so stupid and how can i fix it?im not shure but i gotta deal wit it someway or another but hopefully at the end it will be ok. hopefully at the end it will be ok.

-one mistake, one wrong decision, can fuk u up BaDlY-