- Hackers Quotes -

MRS. MURPHY
Can I cut the electricity to his room so he'll sleep normal hours? He's been playing with his computer all night for a solid week. (pause) Well yes, he could be playing with himself. Mmm hmm. Yes I'll ask. Dade, you like girls, don't you?

MRS. MURPHY
You haven't been doing anything stupid, right, Dade? (louder) Right, Dade?!

DADE
Right, mom. And I'm still a virgin!

KATE
Oh my God! He found the pool.

KID
So, um, what's your interest in Kate Libby, eh? Academic? Purely sexual?

DADE
Homicidal?

PHREAK
One more "dude" out of you and I'm gonna slap the shit outa you, okay? Now I'm trying to save you from yourself but you gotta stop letting your mama dress you, man!

JOEY
I need a handle, man. I don't have an identity until I have a handle.

PHREAK
You know, you're right about that.

DADE
(to Kate)
Well, it looks like I'm on top.

DADE
Who's that?

PHREAK
Curtis.

DADE
And what's he do?

PHREAK
That's it, you're looking at it, he just looks slick all day.

KATE
God gave men brains bigger than dogs' so they wouldn't hump womens' legs at cocktail parties.

MRS. MURPHY
Okay, I gotta get back to work. I'm gonna be home late. And would you try and please fill these out?

She indicates a pile of college applications.

MRS. MURPHY
Oh don't worry, it's only the rest of your life.

DADE
Right. Anything else, you want me to mow the lawn? Oops, forgot. New York. No grass.

PHREAK
What are you, stoned or stupid? You don't hack a bank across state lines from your house, you'll get nailed by the FBI. Where are your brains, in your ass? Don't you know anything?

PHREAK
Look, you wanna be elite? You gotta do a righteous hack. None of this accidental shit.

PLAGUE
Never fear. I is here.

NIKON
What, your mom buy you a 'Puter for Christmas?

CEREAL
Agent Richard Gill, You're hacker enemy number one, man. You're a boner!

RAZOR AND BLADE
That's right, this IS a payphone. Don't ask. As you can see, this is just a simple microcassette recorder. (shows the microcassette recorder) Hook it up to the phone and drop in five bucks in quarters. Record the tones that the coins make. And hang up and get your money back! And never again have to pay for a service that would be dirt cheap... IF it weren't run by a bunch of profiteering gluttons! Remember, hacking is more than just a crime. It's a survival trait!

AGENT RAY
It looks good, sir. We've got an uncorrupted hard drive.

GILL
In English, please. I didn't spend ten years protecting the president so I could finish my career feeling like an idiot.

MARGO
Good morning, Gentlemen. Please be seated. I see we're still dressing in the dark, Eugene.

MARGO
But you've created a virus that's going to cause a worldwide ecological disaster, just to arrest some hacker kid?

PLAGUE
Basically, uhmm, yeah. Mmm hmmm.

AGENT BOB
Listen to this bullshit. (he reads) "This is our world now. The world of the electron and the switch, the beauty of the baud. We exist without nationality, skin color, or religious bias. You wage wars, murder, cheat, lie to us and try to make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the criminals. Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. I am a hacker and this is my manifesto." Huh, right, manifesto? "You may stop me, but you can't stop us all."

AGENT RAY
Now that's cool.

AGENT BOB
Cool?

AGENT RAY
Yeah, cool.

AGENT BOB
You think it's cool?

AGENT RAY
It's cool!

AGENT BOB
It's not cool. It's commie bullshit!

DADE
I'm sorry. Who are you?

PLAGUE
I'm the one who understands you. Now, can we be allies?

DADE
Nah. I don't play well with others.

NIKON
(concentrating)
Look out, man. Lisa Blair, 26 East 7th St., apartment 16, 555-4817, BOOM!

DADE
How did you know that?

NIKON
I got photographic memory. (Smiling) It's a curse!

VICKIE
Hi, my name is Vickie, and I'm an addict.

HANK
Hi, my name is Hank, and uh, I'm an addict.

JOEY
Uh, my name's Joey but, uh, I'm not an addict.

CEREAL
Whoa, whowhowhowhoa. (motioning to Dade) Crash... (motioning to Kate) and Burn!

KATE
I hope you don't screw like you type.

PHREAK
Any questions?

KATE
Yeah. Whose gonna notify his next of kin?

PLAGUE
You wanted to know who I am, Zero Cool? Well let me explain the New World Order. Governments and corporations need people like you and me. We are samurai. The keyboard cowboys. And all those other people out there who have no idea what's going on are the cattle. Mooo! I need your help, you need my help. Let me help you earn your spurs. Ahh, think about it. Enjoy the laptop, "Cool"! Tell me where the disk is.

KATE
You think they're going to bust us?

PHREAK
Yeah! You better figure out what's on that disc, cause we're being framed. It's in that place where I put that thing that time?

PLAGUE
Kid, don't threaten me. There are worse things than death and, uh, I can do all of them!

NIKON
Zero Cool? Crashed fifteen hundred and seven systems in one day? Biggest crash in history, front page, New York Times, August 10th, 1988. I thought you was black, man! Yo, man, this is Zero Cool! Oh, shit!

CEREAL
Snoop onto them...

NIKON
...as they snoop onto us.

MARGO
"Minor glitch" with you seems to turn into a major catastrophe.

DADE
They're TRASHING our rights, man! They're TRASHING the flow of data! They're TRASHING! TRASHING! TRASHING! HACK THE PLANET! HACK THE PLANET!

GILL
I suggest you modify your attitude. Because you are floating. And I'm about to flush your ass.

DADE
You look good in a dress.

KATE
You would have looked better.