HOPE TO BEREAVED FAMILIES)
& Jerry Mudge
Mallard Park Dr
STRUGGLE WITH AND LESSONS FROM GUILT~
years ago, my husband, whom I did not know was depressed, and I, a known
hothead, had a rare and terrible argument in which I yelled out, "Get out
and don't ever come back!" And he drove away and committed suicide.
Now, I know that decision was his own, but in marriage, even our individual
decisions are affected by our lives together and in retrospect there are
some things in which I had responsibility and things I wish I could take
these are some of the things I have learned:
It's OK even
now, to apologize to your loved one...out loud...in a letter...telling
God in prayer, as often as you need. Apologize to God and ask for
forgiveness; Christ died for our sins, including this one.
Then, pray to be able to accept His forgiveness. Determine to get
better and "pray for where you want to be"-- not only will you be looking
ahead, you will be assisted by the power of God. He wants to restore
and heal us as a part of His process of making us more like His son.
A little guilt
can be a productive thing. It can spur us on to wiser decision-making and
to better actions. Overwhelming guilt can be a tool of Satan to cripple
us in spirit and thwart the redemptive work of God in our life.
suffering, we can be led to new insight into the suffering of others, into
trusting God, into learning what is truly important in life.
your loved one by participating in something he was interested in, and
in that way play a part in the difference his life made: Was he a
gardener? Plant and tend something. Did he have a special charity or ministry
interest? Take part in a function or fundraising. Be creative and come
up with a way you can be involved in something that will cement in your
mind positive actions and thoughts with the memory of your loved one.
We can do
NOTHING about what has happened, but our response is up to us by allowing
God to work in our lives to bring about good things. The challenge is to
use what has happened to drive us to compassionate, beneficial action.
Find a ministry that you can be involved in; use what's happened:
don't "waste your sorrows."
And the most
important for last: Immerse yourself in reading the Bible, praying, consulting
with mature Christians, allowing them to pray for you. Bottom line:
lay it at the feet of God. Ask for his healing and a sense of peace. Ask
Him to come in and restore your life and to be allowed to be aware of His
working in your life: it gives such hope!
Ephesians 1:18-20, Paul has a wonderful prayer for all of us crippled by
guilt and longing for hope: "I pray also that you will have greater understanding
in your heart so you will know the hope to which he has called us and that
you will know how rich and glorious are the blessings God has promised
his holy people. And you will know that God's power is very great for us
who believe. That power is that same as the great strength God used to
raise Christ from the dead...(NCV)" AMEN!
from GRIEFSHARE-LEADER Digest for Thursday, April 27, 2006