"My granddaughter, Sarah Martin, was 5 years old when she went to Heaven...She died from a grand mal seizure.  Sarah lived in North Carolina and I was able to see her a few times a year. Sarah was a special child~she taught us all how to love.  No matter who Sarah met in her short life, she always told them she loved them.  Sarah's death was the most devastating thing to happen in our family.  I personally handled her death with my wonderful memories of her.  Even though I didn't see her on a daily basis, whenever I was on the phone with my daughter, Sarah would always get on the extentsion and say "Hi Grandma, you know what???" and of course I would know the answer "No.  What?"...Sarah would answer "I love you."

Holidays are a sad time because we miss her so much.  She was always the life of the holiday season.  My other grandchildren were very much affected by Sarah's death.  When we're together, we always talk about things Sarah said and did.  I think talking about the things we all did with Sarah helps us through our grief.  Remembering all the special times we were together.  My heart breaks for my daughter, son-in-law and their two sons because their lives will never be the same, but they have so many wonderful memories and I know that those memorieset them through difficult times.  I pray for them every day and I know that Sarah is watching over all of us. 

"On September 26, 1978, Kevin Douglas Brewer was born to Jeanette & Sam Brewer in Columbia SC.  His older brother, Brian, was born November 16, 1975 in Anchorage Alaska.  Sam was in the Army, so the boys were "Army Brats."  They lived in Columbia until Kevin was two years old.

In 1979, Sam was transferred to St. Louis MO where they lived until the family moved to St. Charles MO.  Kevin attended schools in St. Charles, graduating in 1997.  He attended the University of MO-Columbia.  He graduated from I.T.T. Technical Institute in 2002 with a degree in Electronics Engineering Technology, with honors.  He worked several jobs while in high school and college.

He attended church in Overland MO until they moved to St. Charles.  Then he attended Mid Rivers Baptist Chapel.  Kevin was born again on November 9, 1986; he surrendered all September 1, 2001.  Kevin was very active in church.  He was in any Easter Passion play, playing the part of the paralytic man several years.  He, Sam, Brain and other church members went on a Mission Trip to Jamaica & presented the play.

On September 2, 2002, Kevin was with some friends camping out.  He was riding a four-wheeler; hit a tree that knocked him out; the four-wheeler fell on him and he suffocated.  He is buried in St. Charles Memorial Gardens.

Kevin was loved by all he met.  He was 23 years old but he put a lot into those 23 years.  It is very hard on my daughter , Jeanette, Kevin's father and brother, Sam & Brian.  I live in Charlotte NC; so cannot spend the time with the family I would like to.  We are all going through very much grief, Jeanette, Sam & Brian have a very supportive church family.  My daughter Karen and her family also live in St. Charles.  They were very close, and are in much grief.  The last time I saw Kevin was August 9 & 10.  We went to a Greer family reunion in Boon NC and a Sheffield family reunion in Franklin NC.

As Kevin's grandmother. I am in grief for the loss of one of my eight grandchilden; I am grieving for my daughter and the pain she, Sam & Brian are going through.  Brian & Kevin had a very close relationship.  Brian is there for his mother & father, but he is also grieving for his brother and best friend.

Holidays are especially hard on the family.  For Thanksgiving, Jeanette's friends invited them over for dinner.  Jeanette and Karen & their families usually got together for Thanksgiving; but felf this year they should do something different.  I call and talk to both girls trying to encourage them.  I do not tell Jeanette  she should or should not do things but try to be supportive of her.  This was a very emotional heart breaking time for our family.  (The whole) family came from different states to be with the family at this time."

"When Marie died, my co-workers took up a collection, as they always do, for whatever expenses might be incurred.  I sent the $$ to the high school journalism class and they combined it with their funds and planted a cherry tree.  I am sure you all know how fulfilling it is to know at least their names will not be forgotten and others will pause, and say a prayer to our Lord."

"I sure hope and pray he is in a better place & not hurting anymore.  We will always love him & miss him so much.  If he only knew how much he has hurt us all (suicide), but we will always remember the good times.  Cindy (Bobby's mother) has his room fixed up as if he would just walk back in with his baseball cap on & carpenter belt still on the bed where he left it.  Bob (the Dad) just won't talk about Bobby.  I know he would have done better if he could.  We always think of the good times & what joy he brought to us." 

Now that the "birthday party" for our lord is over, I find a few moments to relay to you my feelings and thoughts as a Grandparent in Grief ~ after 8 years.

Our granddaughter, Catherine Shay Bradshaw, was born on October 21, 1994.  I was thrilled at this day because my birthday is on the 21st of another month.  Catherine was 8 weeks old when she passed away December 15, 1994 ~ a victim of SIDS.  Catherine was named after her Great-grandmother, Catherine Davis.  Mrs. Davis was so saddened upon Catherine's death that she flew from New York at the age of 84 to be at Catherine's funeral.

Catherine was our 2nd grandchild, sister to our 1st grandchild, Morgan.  Morgan was 4 years old at this time.  Needless to say, I was so excited about "spoiling" another granddaughter.  We lived within 5 miles and I would frequently "kidnap" Morgan on my way home from work.  Morgan, now 12, remembers a little about Catherine, especially dressed as her "pumpkin" on Halloween night.  Morgan sincerely accepts that Catherine died and goes to her grave site with her Mother on special days. 

My longest moment with Catherine was at my birthday party, Nov. 21st.  I held her a lot and fed her.  We both fell asleep, she in my arms, in my lazy-boy recliner.  The family took a picture of us sleeping, which I cherish very much with tears.  Catherine was to be baptized before Christmas.  Mom and Grandma had a beautiful dress already bought for the occasion.  This is what Catherine was buried in.  In grief, I took several pictures of her at the funeral home to remember her by.  I'm sure our daughter peeks at them on special occasions.  This is all she has to remember her by.

I retired in 1998 and love building things of wood.  I made a beautiful chest for my daughter to archive the many special clothes, baby toys, birthday cards and pictures of Catherine.  Catherine's death was so close to Christmas that we put up a little tree each year at her grave site and decorate it with little balls, tinsel and angels.

At one of the SIDS meetings, I tried to put those in grief at ease by iterating the meaning of the Lord's Prayer "Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven."  This means we accept the Lord's will on earth.  I find that knowing God took part in this action relieves me of grief.

Here are some of the other things we do for her.  One year SIDS had an auction.  I purchased a box full of annual spring flowers.  I have a flower garden in our front yard, which I named as Catherine's Flower Garden.  We also have an angel Christmas Tree ornament with Catherine's name.  Recently our church dedicated new bells located up in the belfry of our steeple.  Catherine's name is included on the memorial plaque located in the vestibule.  We hear these bells each Sunday as we walk to church, and guess who we are thinking of?

They have a newsletter.  Originally started as a SIDS grandparent support group, this non-profit organization is now
dedicated to assisting all grandparents when a Granchild dies.

~GRANDPARENTS IN GRIEF~ PAGE ONE (NEWSLETTER ~ JAN/FEB 2003)

~THERE IS HEALING IN YOUR TEARS~ (NEWSLETTER ~ MAR/APR 2003)

~GRIEF SUPPORT INFORMATION~ PAGE INDEX