:: The scene opens in Dick Johnsons 100ftx50ft backyard pool, at his house on the Jersey shore. He sits in a lounge chair raft wading in the pool, while 3 beautiful women are playing volley ball in thier bikinis. Dick Johnson thinks nothing of this as it is a normality, so he just lying back sipping on his lemonade. The doorbell is heard but noone in the pool stops what they are doing, for they know the help will let the visitor, whoever it may be, in. As expected Conchita, a skantally clad maid who is very, very good looking, come to the side of the pool with two men. One is carrying camera equipment, the other looks to be a reporter for the HWA. Conchita calls to Dick Johnson "Senor Dick, Senor Dick!" Dick Johnson opens his eyes and see Conchita and gets a smirk on his face, but then he looks to her left and sees the two men setting up the equipment and realizes it's not twelve o'clock yet. (twelve o'clock is his and Conchita's "Private time") He then sits up in his raft to quickly and falls in the water. He swims back to the top and exits the pool. Conchita gives him a sensual look, he returns the favor. The Interviewer gives him a disgusted look, for Dick Johnson is nude, and it make the interviewer uncomfortable. Dick Johnson sits at his lounge chair then lays back. Conchita pulls up a plastic lawn chair for the interviewer who give Dick Johnson another dirty look. He signals to the cameraman and counts down with his finger from three, two, one,::

Interviewer: "Hello and Welcome to the HWA Post-Show wrap up. What a night at the fights huh? Anyway I have with me someone you did not see wrestling tonight. This is because he was just signed about two hours ago. This man is 'Sexy Bitch' Dick Johnson. Hello, and welcome to the HWA Dick."

"Sexy Bitch" Dick Johnson: "I prefer to be called Richard, but I dont want to get on anyones bad side, being that its my first day, so you can call me Mr. Johnson."

Interviewer: "OK.....Mr. Johnson, Being that you are in the HWA do you have an-y-thiiiiiing t...o saaay? (The interviewer is distracted mid question because he noticed the three women that were previously playing volleyball are now oiling each other down no more than 5 feet from him. ) I'm sorry what was I saying?"

"Sexy Bitch" Dick Johnson: "I don't really know I wasn't paying attention. But I do have a few things to say. First off, what are you staring at? (he looks at the interviewer who is gawking at the three women. The interviewer notices this and qucikly turns to 'Mr. Johnson') Thank you, I watched Saturday Night Fury, and I was honestly impressed. The wrestling skill of everyone is tremendous. I am however am very upset with a small group of people who call themselves NXS. This little gang consists of, I believe, The President of the HWA, Dwayne Banks. Which is an absolute disgrace to any federation. When the President not only allows such crude behavior, but partakes in it, it is an out right shame. Then we have Ricky Conway, nothing special there. Then we have Brock Williams, the North American Champion. As a Champion you should represent the Fed with some kind of dignity, but hiding behind members of a gang is out right cowardly. We then have Chris Michaels. The World Heavyweight Champion. (Mr. Johnson then bows his head in shame, shaking it from left to right, slowly and repeatedly. He then breaks from this sorrowful trance and looks back at the interviewer) I'll put my two cents in about him a little later. And then we have the love of Michael's life, Jason Hartnell. To me it seems that Michaels is a little to proud of Hartnell, maybe he knows something the rest of the worl doesn't, like about the hairy mole on the right side of his scrotum. I dont know. (at that moment one of the women who are still oiling each other down looks up and says "I do!").

Interviewer: "Well harsh word from a seemingly nice man."

"Sexy Bitch" Dick Johnson: "Don't get me wrong, I am a nice guy. (He then looks into the camera) I just think they are assholes, no offence or anything. (he looks back at the interviewer) Especially this 'Golden Boy' Chris Michaels. You Chris Michaels are a pompus jerk that should look at your self in the mirror before you call yourself sexy. I couldnt hold back the laughter, then tears after I heard that. It was probably the second funniest thing I have ever heard. The first you ask? Is the time your mother said "Call me." (everyone in an earshot of the joke laughs) I'm only kidding, I wouldn't go near your mother. Anyway Golden boy, I also heard you mention that a wrestler by the name of Bob McKenzie is unentertaining. That may be, but you don't tell someone that, have I told you. Well I guess I have now. But don't get me wrong, your not all bad, you have some style, you wear Gucci shoes. Thats all you got goin for you. Another interesting man I've seen in this Fed, and I use the term "interesting" very, very loosely, is Steve Johnson. All I can say is wow. Not that I'm a doctor but I think you need some Paxil. And a fashion advisor, all black? That is so early nineties. You also need a haircut, badly. But more than your long hair, your poor fashion sence, and your anti-social behavior, a homeless man recognized you. How pathetic is that? If someone that hasn't seen a sandwich in two years sees, and recognizes me, I'd kill myself, no offence. Thats when you know you've been in the business to long. Oh, and I dont like the fact that you have the same name as me. I pray to God we are not related, because I hear that mental disabilities are hereditary."

Interviewer: "Well thats grand! (He doesn't realize what he has said because he is staring at the three women again who are now sunbathing nude. ) Thats it from the beautiful backyard pool of "Sexy Bitch" Dick Johnson."

::The cameraman shuts off the camera, and starts unpacking. Conchita then come to the side of Dick Johnsons lounge chair with a pair of shorts. He then stands up puts them on and says "twelve o'clock". Dick Johnson then walks to the huge living room and turns on Saturday Night Live. Conchita show the two men to the door and locks up behind them. She then slowly walks up to Dick Johnson, and sits next to him. Will Ferell and Cheri Oteri are on the screen and are doing "The Perfect Cheer". Both Conchita and Johnson laugh. ::

**END SCENE**

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