Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"Jackie, emergency in the ER! Get down there now!" Dr. Smith yelled at me from the top of the stairs. I looked around the room with uncertain eyes. It must have shown. The people in the room simply knew me too well not to see.

"Go," Brian tried to sound brave for me, "I'll be okay. Whoever is down there, needs you too." With that I took off down the stairs.

"Oh God! No! It isn't . . . " I started not wanting to believe it could really be true. How could one of my best friends be laying before me?

"It's Nat. But . . . " Smith began as he hastily prepared an IV.

"BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP"

"He's flat-lining!" Dr. Wilson yelled. I snapped into reality very quickly.

"Give me 200 now!" I shouted, getting everyone's attention. Five minutes went by, then six minutes, then ten, no one wanted to give up on Nat. He was a good friend to all of us.

"Beep . . . Beep . . . Beep . . . "

"We got him back!" I yelled as everyone looked at the monitor in disbelief.

But did we get him back in time? A nagging voice in the back of my mind asked, Will he wake up? I glanced at Dr. Smith who was shaking his head slowly. Nat can't die. He can't. I told myself desperate for it to be true but the shadowy doubts caused by my knowledge of my profession dampened that small flicker of hope. There was no way and I knew it but admitting it to myself was too hard just now. I groaned inaudibly, knowing that there was no way anyone but me could give the news to the person who's whole world would be shattered by this event.

*****

"I'm sorry, Jason, but he's not going to wake up." I was half trying to convince Jason, half trying to convince myself. We had just gotten the lab work back and it confirmed what I had been dreading and praying against. It had taken too long, Nat was brain dead and there was nothing I, or anyone else could do to help him. Jason looked at me and I felt like tearing something apart or slugging someone, preferably the person who had done this to Nat. I had seen this look before. It was a look of utter despair that I couldn't stand, especially not on the face of Jason.

"Is . . .is there any chance at all?" His voice broke as he spoke. Jason looked at me again and my eyes must have given it away. He nodded and went back to looking at the face of his brother. The only family he had left.

I stood out in the hallway of Nat's room and tried to gasp for a moment how screwed up my life was at that moment. One floor below me, my friend, Brian Littrell's heart was failing him. He needed a new heart and needed it soon or he wouldn't make it. In the room beside me, my close friend, Nat, was in a coma, one he would never wake up from. Also in that room was my best friend, Jason, who I felt was family. Nat was the only family he had left and I had just had to tell him that Nat would never open his eyes again.

I hadn't told Jason that Brian might die. Not only was I having trouble convincing myself of the fact but that would be too much for him to bear. Jason and Brian were like brothers. Brian knew everything Jason had been through and Jason had been through a lot. A thought popped in my head, both inviting and unwelcome in the same instant. Jason was the same blood type as Nat, and Jason had given Brian a blood transfusion once before so they were the same blood type. That meant. . .Nat's heart would be compatible with Brian's!

"Jackie!" Judy's voice brought me back to reality, "Is he okay?"

"Jude, Nat's not going to wake up." My voice quivered as I spoke.

Judy took a deep breath, trying to hold back her tears, "How's Jase?"

"I don't know. He's in there now." Judy and Jason are getting married in three months, I thought, Nat's supposed to be the best man. Oh God this is so hard!

"Judy, Brian needs a new heart and . . . Nat's his blood type . . . " I blurted out, unable to keep the information to myself. Judy looked stunned for a second but then understood dawned in her eyes.

"Have you told Jason yet?" She inquired calmly. The calm in her voice made me slightly uneasy. Judy was a very expressive person, she was only ever calm when something really upset her. I shook my head slowly in response.

"Then we should go tell him." Judy spoke quietly as tears began to stream down her face.

****

Where is she? Kevin thought, looking in his cousin's room and wondering where Brian's doctor had gotten to. He didn't begrudge he for going to the ER when they needed her help. After all, that was her job, but Kevin couldn't help wishing Jackie was there.

Kevin could hear the beeps of the heart monitor coming from the darkened room where Brian lay. The soft sound was comforting to him in a strange way. It meant Brian's heart was still weakly beating as he clung to life stubbornly. What will I do if the beeps stop? Kevin thought suddenly. He quickly pushed that thought and any other like it out of his head. It can't happen. It won't. Kevin tried to reassure himself that Brian would be okay. He would not believe his cousin would die. He simply couldn't believe Brian would lose this fight. Kevin saw Jackie coming down the hall and got to his feet at once as did the other members of the Backstreet Boys. Nick was up ran to meet her.

"What . . . How long. . . . ?" he stuttered. I held up my hand to stop him and the rest of the guys came over.

"We have a heart!" I told them seeing the looks of pure joy and relief spread quickly across the four faces.

"Brian's blood type . . . " Howie started. I smiled even though my heart was breaking at the same time as I was jumping for joy. Nick and AJ both jumped up and down in relief. Nick started to laugh to keep himself from crying. It was only a matter of moments before we were all in Brian's room, not being able to wait to tell him the good news.

"Brian . . . Brian wake up!" Kevin said, gently trying to wake his cousin up. Brian moaned softly and opened his eyes. They were full of pain. I could tell we had got the heart just in time, Brian wouldn't have lasted much longer.

"What's going on?" Brian asked softly, there was pain in his voice as well.

"Everything's going to be okay now, Brian. We found you a heart." I told him. Brian's eyes lit up just a little as a glimmer of hope ran through them.

"You're going to be fine now, Frick! Everything's going to be fine!" Nick had tears of relief in his eyes.

Dr. Smith came in and looked at me. "We have to take you to pre-op now."

"Dr. Smith's going to take you." I explained.

"Aren't you operating, Jackie?" AJ asked, sounding a little surprised.

"No, You're not allowed to operate on friends, I will be assisting, but I have to prepare the other heart first," I told them. They didn't know much about hospital protocol. I turned to Brian, "I'll be in the operating room with you so you don't have to worry about anything." I told him.

"If you're there then I know I don't." Brian said smiling at me a little, "I, and everyone else, know that you're the best there is." I managed to smile back at him before leaving to get Nat.

As I approached Nat's room, I could hear Jason saying his final farewell to his last remaining relative. I peeked into the room but didn't say anything, just listened to him say his last good-bye.

"Well Nat, we've been through a lot together, haven't we? I can't believe you're leaving me too, but if you have to go . . . I'm really glad that you get to help someone by going."

Jason paused, his eyes were distant as memories came back to him. "Do you remember that night at the campfire thing when almost everyone had left and it was just you, me, Jude, Jackie, Brian, Diana, Nick and AJ sitting around the fire? We somehow got on the topic about how we were going to change the world. Jackie said that she wasn't going to be satisfied with herself till she helped everyone she possibly could. She said she wanted to make the world better for everyone and that if she could do that she would die happy. But you . . . " Jason's voice cracked, " . . . you said as long as you changed one person's life for the better you would die a happy man. Well, you're saving Brian's life and you've certainly changed mine for the better." Jason paused and looked at his little brother for a few seconds, "You've been there for me and I know you always will be." Tears sprang to Jason's eyes but he quickly held them back. "I.......I love you Nat. You're the best brother anyone could ask for." Jason leaned forward and gently kissed his brother's forehead. "Good-bye Nat." And with that Jason walked out of the room.

"Is there anything I need to sign?" Jason asked me after a few seconds.

"Yeah, as his legal guardian you have to sign this form." I said, handing him a sheet of paper. Jason hands were shaking as he signed the paper that gave Nat's heart to Brian. His hands were still shaking as he handed it back. Anyone who was close to him knew that happened when he really upset. Judy walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. We both knew how hard this was for him.

"Come on Jase, I'll take you to my house tonight. We'll go back to your house later." Judy suggested. Jason just nodded. Judy let go of him and I hugged him tight before they left. Jason was in too much pain to talk but his eyes were dry as they left. He never cried and only a few people knew why.

Chapter 2
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