Alfred Quotes
Here are a bunch of quotes...they are funny. Newest ones are at the top. Hurrah!
Jodi: You worked at New England Deaf Camp?
Alexa:Yep! For three years.
Jodi: What was that like?
Alexa: Umm...quiet...
Dr Curl: I don't like dogs because my girls don't like dogs. I have two little girls at home. Their names are Freddy and Winnie, short for Fredricka and Winifred.
And when I say little girls, I mean cats.
Jodi and I love professor Morehouse!!!!
Alexa: I am professor Morehouse
Jodi: I like talking about food
Alexa: I like chocolate. My daughter is so funny.
Jodi: I ride horses!
Kat: So I goed to the kitchen...thats what I did..I goed...not went...goed. And there was a 2 month old turkey in the fridge!
Ian (my RA): It smells like poopies in here
Allison: I love plants...I want to marry a plant!
Ben Lee (yeah..the singer): Fuckin...heroin, nazi's and my little ponies...thats my shit.
Kat:(singing) Its hard to say what it is I see in your mom...
(get it? blues traveler..ha ha?)
Sarah: What would you do if you knew the world was coming to an end?
Ted: I'd just go save it again
Sarah: I'd watch TV
(Talking about our birthdays)
Alexa: I was early, I was like "Get me outta here! It smells like crotch!"
Kevin: I was 10 days late...
Alexa: You were like, "I wanna stay in here...it smells like crotch!"
Allison: If my last name was Perb, I would want my first name to be Sue. (for all you slow people..Sue Perb...superb..yeah)
Allison: Kittens are my favorite! I love to hug and cuddle them...sometimes I hug them too tightly though...
Alexa: Oooohhh I got an e-mail from Gertrude Erotica! She says she finally found me!....SPAM!
Allison: What kind of a name is Gertrude Erotica? She might as well chnage it to Gertrude Porn.
How to procrastinate like a pro...
Allison: I have to clean my ears before I can write my paper!
Jodi: You know what I learned recently? The reason so many teenagers get pregnant so easily is because their cervixes are not developed all the way. It's filled with holes, so the sperm can get through.
Alexa: Really?
Jodi: Yeah. Don't you feel like swiss cheese?
Allison: You should see me fall! It's like WHAM! Wham wham wham wham wham wham wham....WHAM!....SHAZAM!
Alexa: Haha! You're an octopus! You have 6 legs!
Sarah: Yeah? Well your a baboon! You have blue ass cheeks!
Allison: Um..Octupuses have 8 legs...
Devin: I think dogs are happy all the time cause they run really fast.
Killian: Except for the fat dogs. They are always unhappy, cause they can't run at all.
Alexa: That sucks my balls.
Kevin: You have balls?
Alexa: No, but if I did...they would be getting sucked right now.
Matt: Trying to please a woman is like trying to please a salad. You just poke around and eventually you will find and olive. "Is this an olive?"..."YES! Yes! It is!"
Kat: You know what, I use Secret deoderant...
and I don't think it's strong enough for a man.
Allison: Math can be fun
Alexa: Yeah, so can dying!
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