Edward Anthony Barrett

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Edward Anthony Barrett
1/5/42 - 11/29/99

November 29th 1999, the morning I found my fathers body cold without life from him passing in his sleep
remembering telling my self its over he's finally out of pain and suffering.......
after almost an hour of trying to convince my self he was still breathing....
hes not dead....
dropping to my knees in disbelief....
n feeling lost.....
amongst the tears and feeling of such emptiness...
hugging him tightly...
telling him how much i love him and i will miss him......
and may God take care of him and look after him as my father did for us.........

My father s life was taken away by a year long battle with lung cancer
Which we discovered he had almost exactly a year earlier to the date of his passing.
When he was diagnosed wit cancer they had giving him only 3 months to live..
but being the person that my father was he wasn't going to give up that easily...
it wasn't the fact of he was scared of dying.
I really believe it was the fact he was more afraid of leaving his family...
afraid of leaving my mother which he had been with for over 20 years....
My father was a great man...
he was my idol .. my hero .. my best friend...
I love him more then any one will ever know...
he was the person who made me who i am today...
from him i have learned to be man who cares....gives...works hard to never give up and never be afraid..
it broke my heart to see a man who to me for so many years seemed invincible..
go threw so much pain and depression.....
telling me some days the pain was so UN bearable thoughts of suicide crossed his mind...
i went threw many sleepless nights...
drying him down from cold sweats...
or trying to massage the pain away which was caused from the cancer spreading threw his body making its way to his bones.....
taking more life out of him day by day...
but still threw out all this he worried more bout his family and his grand kids....
my father wasn't the smartest man or the strongest man ..
or didn't make millions of dollars..
but it was his heart that made him stand out from the rest..
and if could even be half the man he was i would be very proud of life i lived...
his passing left a lot of responsibilities on me...
as far as it was my turn to become the man of the house and to take care of my moms..
sister neice and nephew...
but before he passed that was his last request from me..
"BE THERE FOR YOUR MOTHER"
and for the respect and love i have for him i will try to do the best i can
till the day comes for me to leave this earth and do just that for him....
but more then just the responsiabilities....
i can honestly say it scared me and broke my heart to lose my father and see the life drained out of him
a little more each day.....
but IM learning to deal with it a little more day by day..
understanding that he now is in a better place...
with no worries and most of all no more pain...
i wont lie ...i cant say there isn't a day that passes where my heart feels the pain of his loss and that i don't shed a tear...
from the hurt of missing him..
it hurts me to think of the fact he wont be able to see my first born or to see me get married......
but as long as i keep him in my heart he will always be there with me..
it might not be physically.....
but spiritually he is now a part of me and always will be....

To my father may u rest in peace....
i miss u ....
I love u....
i will do everything i can to make u proud of me and become the man you showed me to be...
i still see your face in my dreams .....
hear your voice in the silence.......
and speak to u in my prays .....
awaiting the day our paths will cross again....
And hug u once again.....

ONE LIFE
ONE LOVE
ONE SINISTA


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