Stupid Things to Do Backstage!


All right! Now for the stupidity page! For all you beginners and novices out there in the tech world, you probably should read this before you actually even think about touching paint or power tools but especially the DUCT TAPE. Some of these are from experience, many are not. But it's like I usually tell myself: "Learn from other peoples' mistakes and then you won't have to do the same thing." Okay, I know that made no sense. I just made it up. Whatever, just read the page.

And Now..... ......The List!

1. Never ever ever lick an electrical socket, no matter how good you think it might taste.

2. Never ever ever stick your tongue in a lightbulb socket. There is also deadly electricution in that.

3. Never ever ever annoy people who are bigger and smarter and better than you cause it probably means they'll duct tape you like a hostage and throw you in the dark corner with the cobwebs and spiders and feed you dead rat guts and stuff like that.

4. Never ever ever babble on and on and on or else something like # 3 could happen to you.

5. Never ever ever drink the white paint. I realize that it could sorta look like a bucket of milk or something if you used your imagination, but trust me, don't do it.

6. Never ever ever get paint on the curtains. It will result in certain death or maiming or serious serious injury to you by the TD.

7. Never ever ever play with the power drill thingy. It will wreck the batteries and then the TD will be mad at you and pound you within an inch of your life.

8. Never ever ever think the actors are your friends. (Unless they really are your friends.) They are mean and they like to be mean and you get the picture, right?

9. Never ever ever get paint on the stage and have nothing nearby to clean it up with. This will result in your having to use your shirt or something such as that to clean it up quick before the TD sees and prepares to pound you.

10. Never ever ever say "oops" or someone will be angry because they think you screwed up, even if you're just singing the Britney Spears song. (GAG CHOKE SPEW)

This concludes the stupidity list for now. I''ll be out watching for any more stupidity this upcoming year, so watch your backs!!!


Got any additions to the list? Send e-mail to: BugByte77@yahoo.com

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Last revised: August 21, 2000.