Because the Shack makes you it's bitch

Official Shack Mascot!Official Shack Mascot!

What people have been saying about the Pimpshack

Nothing. Know why? Cause I actually updated before all you people could complain this time! HAHAHAHA

To the polls!

I somehow got it into my head that it might be a lot more fun to have several polls instead of one, a la Rebecca's music awards thingy or roger's something or other thing where he had a bunch of polls up at once. This site will likely contain polls from previous updates, polls from new updates, and a few other surprises that I haven't decided on yet but are sure to surprise. Onward to the polls!

Click to View or Add Text.

The debt list

You know what? FUCK THE DEBT LIST

And so, my fate lies with Goucher.

Wow, this was like a really big descision. Even after you've been accepted, deciding which college to go to isn't exactly easy for everyone. Basically I had three options open to me, and those were Ithaca, Goucher, and the Dramatic Writing thing at SUNY Purchase. Took me a long time to finally decide, but I weighed all the factors carefully. Ithaca This was my first choice for as long as I could remember. Everything about the school appealed to me. The campus was very nice, the facilities were also high class. Our first guide was a dick though when I went to visit. (The second girl was nice however) It's right near Cornell and in a big party atmosphere, so that's a plus (Fiske guide to colleges gave it a 5 in social rating, which is impressive, seeing as how it gave some Ivys a 4 in academics) It's got an excellent communications department, to boot. Plus it's next to Cornell where like a buncha Stuy peeps are going. So why the fuck am I not going here? Like I said it was a difficult descision. I was really happy the day my acceptance letter arrived. My final reasoning was based on a few things. Ithaca didn't give me enuf $. I needed about $5,000 more before it would become relatively affordable. I didn't get the sense of proficiency in a variety of fields. Ithaca would only really let me do it's communications school, and from there I'd have to eventually specialize in a specific field. Problem arises when they draw very fine lines between the fields. For example I can choose either film or TV but not both. Scriptwriting, another field I was interested in is entirely separate from the two. Regor is Roger spelled backwards. Therefore Ithaca is less appealing. I just wanted to make sure you're still paying attention I hear Ithaca has some crappy teachers, much like Stuy, but I'm trying to get away from the high school thing as much as possible. Although Ithaca seems very well together, I dont get the same sense of community that I got when visiting Goucher. Somehow I dont see myself as a future Tom Green Purchase This is a SUNY, yes but I got into the dramatic writing conservatory which is supposed to be kinda hard to get into. My parents kept pushing me to apply to this thing and they kept telling me it was a longshot blah blah and insisiting I do all this work, when in actuallity I didnt really know whether I wanted to do dramatic writing the rest of my life. Unfortunately, thats the main problem with a conservatory such as this one. Too much emphasis on one thing, dramatic writing. Were my parents excited when I got in? Yes. Was I? Well I was proud to say the least, but in the back of my mind I was a little skeptical. First off, this was a new program. In all likelihood, the reason I got in was due to the small number of applicants. Also, the place looks like shit. I've said it 1000 times and I'll say it 1001, but Purchase looks like a giant dog took a gigantic shit in the middle of a field, and somehow managed to fill the halls of his excrement with piss. The campus is pretty much what you'd expect of a SUNY. When are people gonna fix these things up? Anyway I decided it was a little too restrictive for what I was expecting in a college...plus I'd never get to see my plays performed, which is a big downfall. In short, this wasnt the right place for me. Goucher Now here's a pleasant surprise In addition to giving me the most cash of the three, Goucher proved itself to have the most admirable qualities. In fact, I cant think of a single thing wrong with the school. The facilities are kickass, the communications dept is great, and it's only getting better now that the guy from NPR Nobody has any complaints about Goucher. I even asked them what was wrong with the school when I went ot visit, and the only thing people came up with was that it was small, therefore it was a bit of a rumor mill. Hey I can live with that. Goucher also provided the most freedom in terms of a course of study. I wont have to be bound to one area as with Purchase or Ithaca (especially purchase) The campus is in a great place (A woodland in the middle of Baltimore), the people are friendly, and Jackson and I will be perfectly happy there.

The cleverly poetic song award goes to Dire Straits- "Sultans of Swing"

A lot of probably have never heard of Dire Straits before, let alone the song, but it's extremely impressive both lyrically and musically. Musically it's sort of an easy listening jazzy-type piece. It's got like little guitar fills in between lines of each verse, which contribute nicely to the tambre of the music. (It's also got really cool and impressive guitar solos) Lyrically, it narrates the story of someone walking into a jazz club on a rainy evening and how he obseves the musicians of the club humbly playing their instruments to an indifferent audience who views this music as being outdated. Ironically, although the public views this music as inferior to that of their generation, the music of the jazz club is far more complex. The musicians are depicted as poor folk struggle to do what they love in this world, the only way they know how. It's a very clever commentary, and I strongly urge you to get it with either Napster (If thats even possible anymore) or with Limewire a software program that runs on the Gnutella network and works similarly to napster.

Dont click here!*

*Unless you agree to delete this thing within 24 hours.

Matt Buys a new CD the day of it's release!

This is actually big news. Considering the fact that my favorite bands are for the most part, dead (Led Zeppelin, The Doors, Nirvana) I dont buy a lot of CDs, since the new bands dont really strike me as being that good. However one day upon my visit to the website of a little band called Tool one day, I learn that they have begun working on a new CD. This strikes me as being very cool. Tool was actually a band I had a lot of respect for back as a freshman. They always struck me as being very dark, and enigmatic, and their music ranged from soft melodramatic cries, to pure high powered rage, often alternating between these two polarizing forces during songs. Hearing about the new CD, I eagerly looked forward to a release date. That day is today 5/15/01. Roger, Jackson, and myself walked to the Tower Records on 8th and Broadway to pick up this hot little item...well Jackson didnt. He decided to spend his fortunes on Popeye's fried chicken instead, however he did tag along for the ride. With some difficulty, we found the store in question and entered. At the front of the store, we found the CD along with the newly relased Weezer CD on a stand. There were perhaps 2 copies of the weezer CD left, and about 28 copies of Lateralus, the new Tool album. We nabbed the CDs, purchased them, and then set off to find Jackson. Jackson has this habit of disappearing in music stores. After retreiveing him and heading for the exit, we noticed the sale stand where we obtained our CDs. By this time (about 10 min after we entered the store) both the remaining Weezer CDs were gone, but half of the Tool CDs had been taken as well! Figures. Their NY concert sold out in 2 minutes. (no joke) Right, so as I am typing this I am listening to the CD. In fact I've been listening to the CD ever since I got on the train, and I'm STILL not done with it. It's 78 minutes long. Right now I am approching the hidden track. I know it's hidden because my LCD display on the discman is displaying a negative number counting down from -1:30. When it starts I'll see how it is...ho hum, ladada dee dee. Wow that must look really stupid when it's typed. You cant vocalzie it very well. Stupid onomatopoeia. You know- Oh! Here's the song. Starts with a creepy electrical buzzing sound. Tool likes to use annoying sound effects on their CDs for like intermission tracks. Wait here's some drums, maybe it's not an intermission track. Those really suck, they take up space on the CD (as if tool didnt waste enough space with the 78 minutes) ok now some guys talking about area 51. Must be some psycho. Yeah he escaped from area 51 and he keeps saying "Um um um" and he's talking about aliens and shit. THIS BUZING NOISE IS REALLY PISSING ME OFF. It keeps going as he's talking in a frightened voice about aliens in area 51. Ooh look he says the government knows about them. No shit, they elected one as president. Ok it biulds up...and then it stops. Well I've just listened to the whole thing CD. Turns out it was 78 minutes and 59 seconds. Now I can review it I guess. Overall I think this is one of those CDs I'm going to have to listen to a few times before I get into it. A lot of the material isnt very concrete and difficult to grasp (Meaning it's not something you can visualize easily), for the most part the CD is a psychological orgy pertaining to human relations, but the concepts are somewhat difficult to grasp. Maynard James Keenan's voice is amazing (hey what did you expect from a tenor?) and makes it all the more enjoyable to listen to as you struggle to figure out what the hell he's talking about. Instrumentally, Tool is unique. Rather than beating the hell out of a song, the Tool approach is to start with a riff and progressively add more instruments to the sound as the song progresses. (This is also one reason their songs are too God damn long) Their Percussionist Danny Carey is amazing. Whereas most dummers follow a set progression of what to play throughout the song, Danny Carey is hitting a different set of objects every 15 seconds. This guy knows how to make good use of all kinds of percussion. The bass also works well, bass is a big thing with tool, cause they need to set that dark atmosphere, so the bass does a good job of that. The guitar is generally riff based, but there isnt a very specific riff for any song, rather it constantly changes throughout. Lateralus is not without it's drawbacks. The biggest perhaps being the fact that their songs arent catchy. Rather, Lateralus is more of a mood-music album, and the mood conveyed is very dark (duh, it's Tool) another drawback to the album is that the songs are too long they are victims to the nature of their music. When you progressively add instuments over other instruments over a period of time, it becomes a very LONG period of time. Even when no instruments come in to overlap the others, the current riff is being repeated FAR too often. (ex. Maynard says "I have watched the weather change" for a good four and a half minutes in one song) Also the fact that Tool switches between loud blaring raw agression and eerie quiet contempt in their music, forces the songs to become long and drawn out. (For example, listen to Stairway to Heaven and you'll know what I mean) Those quiet parts can be annoying to listen to on the subway when theres all kinds of train noise. They also fool you into thinking the song is over. You'll listen to a blaring part, and it'll get really quiet, then you'll think the song is over...and it turns out it's a 3 and a half minute low-key part of the song. The fact that ALL the songs sound this way is a serious blow to the album, because it lacks song diversity. The songs often sound like they arent sure whether they'd rather be pissed or petty, and this contributes to the fact that the album just isnt catchy. It needs more songs with direct and clear messages like Ænema or Hooker with a Penis. It's dark, it's moody, it's too long, but I can feel the energy in the songs. Perhaps that is the most important thing. I'll still have to listen to it a few more times, then I'm sure I'll like it a lot more. I'll give it a B+ I'm glad I bought Lateralus. If you're a Tool fan you wont be dissapointed.

Parse Error has Talent?

Believe it or not, we're heading for the talent show. Our band name is now officially Parse Error. None of that "self titled" or "punch your grandmother" crap. Just Parse Error. More info on us can be found at TheHigh's bios/history of Parse Error. Anyway, that's our name and believe it or not, we do have songs. We'll be recording them at some point (I hope) and placing them up on the shack for your listening pleasure (or pain). We're still a little confused about what's going on with our singer, since he deemed some of our songs "too embarrasing" to sing. Personally, I cant see why anyone wouldnt want to sing a song about Porno. The talent show is in days. Come see us raise hell, or go down with the flames Dude...It's Washburn...and he's playing his hit porno song on...A WASHBURN! So our rehearsals have been going so-so...when we bother to rehearse. Sometimes we have very productive sessions, other times not so productive sessions. It all depends on how much anyone seems to give a damn. I hope we'll be ready by the talent show. One thing our band is a little confused upon is what song to cover.. YOU can help Parse Error out by selecting one of the following songs to cover. A number next to it, indicates how likely we are to pull off a good version of it. The higher the number, the better. Note: we may or may not play these at the actual show, it depends largely on whether Jackson shows up to rehearsal. :) Plus if it's like really hard, it probably wont happen...Hell if it's really easy it wont happen either, so vote for whatever you want...just dont expect anything impressive

Parse Error IS This kid named Ray Brian Mangan- Vocals Matt Waldron (me) - Lead guitar, Rhythm guitar, Backup vocals, Songwriter, Sex machine. Lawrence Bianco - Bass, Provider of den to jam in, Excellent host, Coolest Junior in the world (Only junior to ever be inducted into the Cleaners) Booker. Brian Jackson- Drums, Provider of many bad jokes. Other members of Parse Error are Roger- Roadie, Boxer, Distraction Davie- Producer, Manager Roberto- Designated guy who jumps around on stage at our concerts and gets fucked up. Rebecca- Girl who introduces the band and gets naked on stage*. *Or is supposed to, according to our agreement that she would be part of the band if she were to do so.

The Songs of Parse Error! These are clips of me playing guitar, minus the rest of the band. I recorded these in my living room onto a cassete and transfered them to real audio format, so you're going to need a realplayer to listen to them. I fuck up a lot so the quality leaves much to be deisred, but here they are. Roger's Boxing Song (RBS) B C D C Once I knew a little girl no more than five feet tall She hung around the Laundromat, her shirt was really small And then along comes Roger, looking to get her in bed. He told her that he liked her tits, She smacked him in the head E D E F E D And now he's DEAD, he's DEAD, The Roger man is DEAD He's DEAD, He's DEAD, He only wanted sex but now He's DEAD, He's DEAD The Roger man is DEAD He's DEAD, He's DEAD, but his soul, lives, E D C B ONNNNNNNNNNN! B C D C He lay there by the Laundromat, his mind and skull were scarred A little girl with bigass tits can sure hit fucking hard! Maybe if he'd used some tact he might have got some head But now he'll never live to see the legs of Laundromat girl spread E D E F E D Because he's DEAD, he's DEAD, The Roger man is DEAD He's DEAD, He's DEAD, He just wanted some head but now He's DEAD, He's DEAD The Roger man is DEAD He's DEAD, He's DEAD, but his soul, lives, E D C B ONNNNNNNNNNN! F# G G# A (then F# G G# A A# B C C# E) Roger's soul has No control It's only goal Is to look for hole! Roll! (bass solo/instrumental) B C D C The soul of Roger wanders, the soul of Roger flies It looks for horny teenage boys to wear as a disguise One day the girl with bigass tits's face will turn bright red When she sees a guy unzip his fly and say "Hey bitch, wrong head!" E D E F E D He's DEAD, he's DEAD, The Roger man is DEAD He's DEAD, He's DEAD, and now he wants some head because He's DEAD, He's DEAD The Roger man is DEAD He's DEAD, He's DEAD, but his soul, lives, ONNNNNNNNNNN! F# G G# A (then F# G G# A A# B C C# E) Roger's soul Out of control It knows it's role… Fuck that hole! E B B G E ROLL! Youthenasia F# Bm The worst day of your life is here A13 E7 Cause you know that things will never change (repeat) The pigs caught ya chuggin beer You thought 16 was the drinkin age? F# (slide) C YOU BITCH! F# G G# A F# (slide) C you throw a fit like a bitch! your cursing like a mothafuckin bitch! FUCK SHIT DICK ASS BITCH BITCH! F# Bm The girl of your dreams gave her cherry pie A13 E7 To that other guy that she's BANGIN LIKE A BONGO! (repeat) So you sit alone in your room and sigh Then you pull down your pants and watch F# (slide) C PORNO F# G G# A F# (slide) C All day long you watch porno! You jack your dick to porno! Your mom knows you watch porno! F# A D (this is not in the recording) The only girl that you caress Comes in DVD and V H S! (solo) (calm acoustic part) D Dm G C while on a plane to Timbuktu your mind allows itself to reprieve and even if the truth is true it doesn't mean you should believe Am cuz when you get to timbaktu… (gradually getting louder) F# G G# A YOU WILL WATCH F# (slide) C PORNO! (repeat porno verse to end)

You knew I had to beat Roger to it...

Click!

Revenge of the 2nd Term grades

So how's this Term of laziness lookin? Wow I didnt fail anything. Considering that this is the largest failing Senior Class in Stuy history (They had a big pep rally for the failures in the theater in which everyone cheered upon learning this info) I can honestly say that I feel left out. For someone with a low average, I feel that I should have been invited as a courtesy. You know I actually envisioned this happening. I figured one day they'd call a bunch of my low average buddies into one room to tell us we suck and are horrible examples of Stuy students, at which point we'd cheer and have a jolly good time. Anyway I'm hurt that I was deprived, but here are my grades. Le Second Marking Period(French) Name of course 1st MP 2ndMP Projected 3rd MP My opinion of the class as of now AP English E 90 85-88 A shadow of it's former glory, AP english got messed up the moment Gern told us he didnt mind when papers were handed in. I still like the class however, but some individuals cant stand it. Music Theory E 90 93 A state of lax. Music theory suffers from the music Nazis slamming all the passive studnets with technical jargon leaving us confused as fuck while everyone argues over the notes in a chord. We still dont know our intervals and no one hands anything in on time. Class is still fun though when music is played. NYC History S 75 80 Eh. I fail, I cut, I hand projects in late...he doesnt seem to mind. In fact by all means I should have failed this marking period, as I never handed in my museum paper and failed every test. It's not easy to fail an elective, esp with the Scan man. Principles of Engineering N 70 85 Again, I'm missing a project. Our class seems to be getting really low grades for some reason. All I hear him talk about is how the other class is really into this Death Star thing. God how immature. Our class just wants to make little things that fire tiny balls at people. Thats actually fun- recieveng your grade isnt. American History 2 N 85 90 Wow, I just remembered I got an N the 1st MP and I shot all the way up to an 85. How did I do it? I obtained the answers to the test :)

When Matt's ill, he can't update.

I have never had allergies before. However, it appears as though as of late, I have been coming down with some sort of allergic reaction. Around the time of SING!, I can recall having a very painful sore throat. However, I assumed that was due to the large amount of screaming done before and after the show. It soon developed into a painful sore throat thing that really began to bother me and I became rather sick for a week. I did however attend school more that I should have due to the fact that I needed to get work done in this engineering class. Eventually it died down. However as sort of an aftermath, I have been left with this recurring cough that sounds really bad at times. I decided to take it easy for a while and not do anything too strenous. However this also meant I was unable to do anything fun. When Matt cant have his fun, and still has to do his schoolwork, he becomes very distraught. So I finally saw a doctor...or so I thought I would. Instead I got stuck with one of those physicians assistants who dont know what the hell anything is. She first told me she was going to give me antibiotics, saying it was most likely an infection. However, when she returned from her little room, she claimed it was definately allergic, and gave me an inhaler. I've never had asthama in my life, and I dont have it now, but the tube is supposed to help clear my throat. My mom and dad, having no medical experience whatsoever, claim that she didnt know what was wrong with me and that PAs always prescribe those inhaler things when they dont know what they're doing. Anyway I take a few puffs and I feel a little better. At least for a while. My parents decide I shouldnt use the pump anymore, and schedule me for a REAL doctor this time. Upon my visit to the real doctor, I am examined thouroughly, and the doctor seems to know exactly what to do, he calls me to another room claiming he will give me proper treatment for my illness. As I take a seat, he enters the room, and produces the treatment. The treatment is...an inhaler. I stare at the inhaler...then I stare at the 30+ diplomas adorning this man's wall...and I pray that my parents are wrong about their conceptions of the medical world. I do make it a point to tell him that I recieved an inhaler from a previous visit to a physicians assistant. (Someone with ZERO diplomas on her wall...hell she doesnt even have a wall to begin with!) He assured me that that one would do nothing, since it was just a steroid, (Wow I'm a pro wrestler) while this one would do "something." I certainly hope that something involves helping my illness. Oh well, at least he told me it wasnt serious. Serious illnesses suck*. *Just like your mother, Trebec!

Links to visit just so you can laugh that they exist.

The list goes on. As I find new sites, they will be added. These will open in a new window when you click. That way after you've had a good laugh, you may return to the shack with relative ease. Did you know fruit roll ups puts their website ON the actual fruit roll up? No joke. And to think I nearly devoured the URL two seconds ago. If you wanna visit them go to www.fruitrollups.zeeks.com. Ok now I may eat. Are you concerned that your cereal isnt quite meeting your dietary needs? MyCereal.com allows you to custom make your own cereal so that you will never eat unhealthily again. Could prove very useful to Jackson's cereal diary, assuming that page is ever updated* *Yeah like I should talk Don't have anything to do and dont wanna update your page? Why not cruise the web for some Random Shit? Randomshit.com periodically finds new sites at random and directs you to them when you click reload. This is a must see. Cheese.com is a website that is ALL ABOUT CHEESE! It's almost scary how enthusiastic these people are about cheese. They cover all varieties of cheese, including vegetarian cheese for you students for the ethical treatment of cheese. You can even get your own email address as well! (Like Izzymet27@cheese.com) Try it, you wont regret it. It boggles the mind. The owner of Matt.com has proven that a site can be simple, elegant, and yet still suck. Bored.com. If you actually want to find INTERESTING sites... This is essential for all cleaners. If ever we desire a base of operations then we ought to know all the fundamentals involved. LaundromatAdvisor is a site which provides invaluable information from a guy who knows what he's talking about and takes it seriously. I quote "Of all the various store-front business enterprises, a laundromat sale will generate the greatest buyer interest." How true. So what's going down in Washington these days? In case you were curious, you could head on over to Whitehouse.com where you may or may not discover the political problems facing today's nation. Either that or...

My girlfriend is cooler than yours

Erica Daiell, also known as the coolest girl in the world got tickets to Eric Clapton at MSG in June. She is now the kickass person of the century.

more days until I see Clapton!

Hope you liked the update. Thats it for today.

Links to other parts of my page!

And the PIMP awards go to.....
Your horoscope for today...
Napster list. It's almost down people, hurry up and download!
Many new L files added!
Spark test info on me

Links to useful websites with stuff!

Latest wrestling news.
Game ROMs are here, don't D/L unless you have the original cartridge...or else...uh...they'll find out and kill you! yeah!
Napster! Get it now before it's shut down for good!
This is where you can learn to play guitar songs
Metallica vs Napster Cartoons they just made their last one. (Quite funny)
Romp.com. Help Jake get laid!
This magazine is cool...Very cool
Dolemite.com's BUILD YOUR OWN PIMP!!!
Robopimp2000, HUGE source of pimp info!
Bellsnwhistles, lots of great HTML and Java tags here!

Links to TheHigh

TheHigh- The most notorious site on the net today.

Links to websites not removed by Evan

Moogleville- Home of the moogles and Jay
Wilson Chronicles- HUGE NEW UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mangan's Laundromat- Currently inactive,
Erica's Treefort- Neither a tree nor a fort. Rather it is a webpage that is never updated.
Granger's Granger sized Sanctuary, now 0% larger than before
Jackson's house of action. Missing in action since the March 12 redaction, which is not to be confused with an update.
Shari's Emerald city. Let her know you care.
BENNY!'s site is actually not that gay now that I look at it again...it just doesnt wanna link me for some reason.
Rebecca's Zenroom. Enlighten yourself, but don't inhale.
Dano's Hideaway. Go hunting for hidden bits of entertaining material
Heather's site for good Jewish girls.
Jason Cohen IS...Wonderwakkoff