“Hey.” Worry spread across her face. She seemed reluctant to move. She knew that I could run away again. I took a step closer to her. “It’s alright.” She nodded, but didn’t seem convinced. “Zac. Your brothers have asked me to come and get you. The crowd is scared half to death. We don’t want to start a riot, do we? You know what happens when large crowds like these get scared. Your brothers need you out there, Zachary.” I felt weak. My knees began to buckle beneath me. I couldn’t go out there. Without saying a word, I walked over and let my body down, slowly, onto one of the chairs that was sitting there. Mom’s eyes welled.
“Zachary, listen to me, sweetheart. I don’t know what’s happening inside your head right now, but Hanson needs you back right now. You have to do this. You can’t just quit now.” I was shaking. Hard. I shook my head. “I’m not quitting. I just need to stop for tonight. Please. You guys don’t understand.” She put her hand on my shoulder, urging me on. “Come on, honey. We’ll talk about this later, I promise. Now, get out—“ I pulled myself up. “Mother, I wanna be alone. We’ll reschedule the show or something. I can’t do this right now. I just can’t, okay? Now, leave me alone. Please.” I turned away from her, before she could respond, and climbed back into the bunk. I heard her leave. I wished she understood. I wished that someone, anyone, could understand this. I needed to understand what I had just seen. I was terrified now. Something was so unbelievably wrong. I had no idea of what it was. That was the worst part of it. I couldn’t escape this. I had to be left alone with something I wasn’t sure of. I had never felt so alone. There always had been so many people surrounding me, there for me, caring about every single move I made. I had so many people that I could tell anything to. I was so torn now. I couldn’t tell anyone what was going on. God, I couldn’t even tell myself.
