2/8/2001

I find it strange how I can hate this place and love it at the same time. The loneliness of being "the foreigner" can be unbearable at times, but there are other times that I get a smile from someone and it brightens up my day. The students at times can act like monsters, and other times they play games that remind me of my own childhood and make me long for those carefree days. It's amazing to me how I've adjusted to this place, and although the adjustment is far from complete, I at least don't feel uncomfortable in my own skin anymore.

I know that there is a lifetime of things to see and experience here, but when I leave, I should be satisfied. Satisfied with my decision to come here; satisfied with my time here; and definitely satisfied with the experience. In life we must take each moment and try to learn from it. We must try to evolve somehow and reach our full potential. This is true of every aspect of our lives.

The last six months have been amazing. I've felt every emotion I could possibly feel and have somehow gotten through it. This world I am living in is so strange to me still and everything I do is a new experience; something to learn from. There is still much to learn and in the next six months all I can do is try my best to learn as much as I possibly can. When I came to Japan, my goal was to learn the language and see the land. I've done that, and although by the end of my time here I wouldn't have accomplished everything I envisioned, I will be happy. I know that I am truly blessed to have had the opportunity to come here to Japan and fulfill my childhood dream of living here.

Living here thus far has been quite a life-changing experience. I now realize how feeble my knowledge of the world is. This world is an enormous place full of traditions and cultures that are probably incomprehensible to me. My childhood dream has expanded…I want to see the world. There is so much out there, but will it still be there when I am finally able to see it. I watch the news and see all the war and strife throughout the world and it makes me wonder how much longer we can go on like this.