GRIEF PROGRESS AS OF JUNE 20,2000
Grief work is sometimes hard, sometimes slow.
At this point I am beginning to "feel" something.
Most days go along smoothly without that awful obsession with death
that I had for a month or so after my mother died.
I do think about her and her impact on my life...but
that awful numbness, not bearing to feel the pain, is beginning to subside a little.
I am grateful for this.
There are times when I feel angry about something else and
the tears for both my parents come quickly.
They must still be very close to the surface.
Whenever I'm upset about something, I seem to wind up discussing my loss.
Life is somewhat getting back to "normal" whatever that means.
I am aware that I am depressed.
I don't often want to leave the house, even for errands, or socialize with anyone.
I'd rather stay home with my husband and surf the web.
I am able to function well at home and I'm not over sleeping.
Perhaps time does lesson the pain of grief.
There are times when I want to pick up the phone and
call my mom or dad and tell them some good or bad news!
I can't do that now and I miss them terribly.
I am using my mother's everyday silverware and it's hard to keep from tearing up
when I pick up a fork or spoon.
I know she would have wanted me to enjoy her nice things.
I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU!!
