The Presidential Debate

The following is the official transcript of the WSC Presidential Debate between Mr. Brain, Mr. Pinky, Mr. Hartman, Mr. Martian and Mr. Jeeves.

Moderator: Mr. Hartman, what do you think of school vouchers?

Hartman: (odd buzzing of flies, no other response for allotted 2 minute time)

Moderator: Mr. Jeeves, do you believe in the privitazation of social security?

Jeeves: I have found answers to the following questions:

Where can I read a brief overview of the issue Social Security eligibility?

Where can I learn about the federal Social Security program?

Where can I find in-depth features on Politics: Social Security?

I have also found these sites through other search engines.

Moderator: Your time is up, Mr. Jeeves. Mr. Brain...

Brain: Yes!

Moderator: Please let me ask the question. According to varying reports, you may use this post as President to take over the world. Do you care to comment about this?

Pinky: Ha-ha-ha. That's what you said we're going to do tomorrow night! Poit!

Brain: Quiet, Pinky.

Moderator: No interputing Mr. Pinky, and no violence Mr. Brain!

Pinky: Sorry! Ha-ha-ha.

Brain: My apologies. Those charges are ridiculous, just like the ones about me being a lab mouse. I only want to say this once, I am not a lab mouse. I do not want to take over the world (last sentence said maniacally).

Moderator: Thank you Mr. Brain. Mr. Martian, what do you think of this country's military prepardness?

Marvin: We need to make a new super laser to kill this countries citizens. This conversation and these citizens are making me very angry! I will kill you now. (Marvin hits mysterious button repeatedly) Where's the kaboom??!! There's supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom!!

Moderator: You're time is up, Mr. Martian. Mr. Pinky, many people are saying that there is a large intellect gap between you and your opponents. Do you have any thoughts on this matter?

Pinky: Poit! I am as inelibent (acutal prononciation) as the next candidate. I have been watching tv for years, and sometimes watch MTB news with. They used to have music videos. Narf! I realized why people wear rubber pants!

Moderator: I stand corrected. You're at least twice as intelligent as Bush. Now is the time of the debate when candidates may directly question each other. Mr. Hartman, you may go first:

Hartman: (odd buzzing of flies, no other response for allotted 2 minute time)

Moderator: Mr. Jeeves, who would you like to question first?

Jeeves: I have found the answers to the following questions:

Where is the corporate office for Ask Jeeves?

How can I use Ask Jeeves?

Where can I find the online store Ask Jeeves Shopping?

Where can I read about Ask Jeeves' 4.1 Solutions?

I have also found these sites through other search engines:

4 matches by 4Anything Network 9 matches by Sprinks by About 7 matches by AltaVista Ask Jeeves

Moderator: You're time is up, Mr. Jeeves. Mr. Brain, who would you like to question?

Brain: I have a question for Mr. Martian. Mr. Martian, are you or are you not from the moon?

Marvin: That question is making very angry. Martians are not from the Moon. They are from Mars. Are you a silly Earth-creature? Once I fix my button, you and your fellow Earth-creatures will be conquered!

Moderator: Mr. Pinky, do you have a question?

Pinky: Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Mr. Moderator?

Moderator: I don't believe so.

Pinky: Narf! Ha-ha-ha! I made a funny!

Moderator: Ha-ha-ha! Mr. Martian, it is your turn for the final question.

Marvin: Mr. Brain? Why are you and your fellow earth-creatures so primitive?

Brain: I agree that earth-creatures will be primitive until they make me my ruler (last sentance said maniacally).

Moderator: Thank for your time. I hope to see you all again soon for the vice-presidential debates. Thank you very much, and have a nice day!