Using the keyboard to measure
your DillyWhacker
1. Disrobe and stand by your keyboard.
Rest your left testicle in the rounded hollow on
top of the "1" key. Rest your right testicle in the
key immediately below that (the Q key on a
standard keyboard, probably something different
on the Dvorak keyboard. You lumberjacks may have to
use the A or even the Z key).
2. Grasp your thing in your right hand and slap
it firmly across the number key row on your keyboard.
(For instance, my result is ``1234567890-+'' the
backspace key removes the.)
3. Place a copy of the June, 1981 Playboy open
to the centerfold at a distance of 2.5 feet. Rest
your thing on the keyboard and stare intently at the
girl pictured for five minutes or until your feet leave
the ground. Repeat the above test.
Cautions
1. Do not attempt this test after swimming.
You will skew the results.
2. Black men may wish to use a special extended
keyboard, or place two keyboards end to end.
3. If you try this test on a public keyboard,
you may want to swab it down with alcohol first.
4. On some keyboards, severe sparking may result.
Be sure to keep a fire extinguisher handy, and
DON'T BE AFRAID TO USE IT.
Test can also be used to diagnose
some genital disorders.
Test Results Diagnosis
1 -- You suffer from Short Penis Syndrome
12367 -- You have a strange gap in your penis
12efgbn -- Your penis has a right hand bend;
sometimes called Jerker's Lean.
12wgui,l=]\ -- Seek immediate medical care.
(For All that send out Cards)
Thanks for the Love/Kindess you share!
Birthday Cards
Want everyone to GIVE big ZOO CHEERS to:
karenmyatt@optushome.com.au
Karen
Mammaw35@aol.com
Lois
MeAndBilly@aol.com
Nancy
alayfield@msn.com
Brianna
AON456@aol.com
Alma
Plumpudden@aol.com
Melissa
ginny762@nyc.rr.com
Jim
Nygalhi@aol.com
Robin
Catizme58@aol.com
Cathy!
RMoneD@aol.com
Dottie
mailto:RAE%201938@aol.com
Rosemary
http://www.angelfire.com/ny4/BronxLady/ODONNA64@aol.com
Donna
ANNIVERSARIES:
EGusa@MKFord.com
QweenOfBad@aol.com
Betty & Tommy
Happy Birthday!
Many Happy Returns of the Day
and
Happy Anniversary!!!
MANY More Years of Happiness!
Today's Downloads are dedicated to ALL
Today's Downloads
FIRST:
Listing this again for ALL my readers that
missed it! ITS one of the Best Virus Scanners
out there and its FREE!!!!
Freeware Pro AVG Antivirus 6.0
SECOND:
CDCallerID
is a caller ID program which allows you to set
up a phonebook and configuration for each caller.
Play .WAV files for each caller,
Hangup on and annoy
THIRD:
LaunchIt NOW!
allows you to have a small, desktop-like window
with full-size icons to launch your favorite programs,
files, folders, documents or URLs. It runs in the
system tray and is always just one click away.
FOURTH:
RegClean
can boost the start uptime of your computer.
It will safely remove redundent registry entries,
making Windows load faster
FIFTH:
GAMES GAMES GAMES
LOT of Games for today's Birthday ZooBies!
BOWLING
BOOK WORM
Zelda Classic 1.90
Visual Poker Pro 6.0.0
DotCom 1.0
Cacman 1.0
Tetrix 1.9
NetRummy 1.0
Hangkid 2.1
Four Bricks - Free Tetris 1.0
Aid Zondulux 1.0
Pic of the Day
WOW, GrandPa was right!
Anything over a mouthful.......etc etc etc
lmaoooooooo
Pic at bottom of Page
Start out your day by reading IF you should stay in bed
~ BRONX SPECIALTY TAGS ~
Sooooo Many Birthdays this weekend!
If your name is not below, you can find Yours
on our Site. Just click the above link!
okkkkkkkkkkkk
Wishing Everyone a Great Weekend!!
Luv yas all
|
Then click!! click  clickEver Wonder HOW they do it?? click Get them while they are Free! Business Cards for your Business  Love the Bidding Stuff??? Check out Jess's Ebay Auctions! click 
clickUntimate FREE Spam Forever 30 Day Free Trial   (scroll down to Trash Talkers) |
LINKS:
For Easier Navigating thru the Links
Just hold the Shift Key Down, when clicking on one
then just hit the X to close the new Window!
Visual Thesaurus
PRAVDA.Ru
bread
Daily Show with Jon Stewart
The Tolkien
Animaland.org
Beetle Science
Discovery Channel
Beneath L. A.
Sound Busy!
Collins Encyclopedia
J U N K M E D I A
Sketchbook
Rate My Puppy
RadioLovers
My Cat Hates You
Which Scenario Is Worse?
Marine Corps Sea Stories
Rhapsody for a Unicorn
Ripley's Believe It or Not!® -
Dayudie
PBS Kids
Stolen Car Reports
illuminocity home
ZapMeta.com RebatePlace.com
Dental Reference
Last Flight of Bomber 31
coInnovate
Official Rock Paper Scissors
Chart Jungle
Optical Illusions
Keeping An Eye On All Things
Virus Bulletin
Arctic Image
GiggleStick.com!
The Feast of Fools
Food Stamp Program Eligibility
Adult Links:
If you are easily Offended by
Adult Humor/Graphics/Language
DO NOT CLICK
on these
Toys for Lovers!
Big Ass Spank
Talent!
New IRS
Radio
Choices
Say Ahhh
New Lap Dance
Clinton Collection
Coffee, tea...
ummm Honey
Happy Hour?
Orgasim Tester
For My Male ZooBies
Ladies, Your Stud of the Day
You know why men name their penises?
They want to be on a first name basis with the
brains of the operation!
Why do most men name their penis?
So they won't have a stranger making
most of their decisions.
Why do men name their penis?
Because they know what to call him when
they file for disability whin it don't
work no more"
The wives of four head of states are talking
together about how a penis is known
in their countries:
The wife of Tony Blair stated that in
England people call it a GENTLEMAN,
because it stands up when women are entering.
The wife of Boris Yeltsin stated that
in Russia you call it a PATRIOT
, because you never know if it will hit you
on the front or on the back side.
The wife of Chirac stated that in France
you call it a CURTAIN,
because it goes down after the act.
Well, the wife of Bill Clinton stated that
in the US you call it a RUMOR,
because it goes from mouth to mouth.
Hey Diddle Diddle, My penis is little and
shriveled and shrunk like a prune.
But if you will squeeze it and tease it,
and please it, It'll blow up just
like A balloon.
Came across this old one, and thought it fitting
IN light of Hillarys Book........LOL
Similarities Between
Monica Lewinsky and Marilyn Monroe
Monroe has six letters and begins with M-O-N
Monica has six letter and begins with M-O-N
Marilyn posed nude for Hugh Hefner
Monica posing nude looks like a heifer!
Kennedy watched Marilyn while he invaded Cuba
Bill invaded Monica with a Cuban cigar!
Marilyn watched Kennedy debate
Monica watched Bill masturbate
Marilyn could not avoid Jackie
Monica could not avoid what Bill Jacked
Marilyn believed that men prefer blondes
Monice believed that men preferred blow jobs
Marilyn did Bob and Jack
Monica bobbed and jacked
Jackie made John cut his ties with Marilyn
Hillary made Bill cut up his ties from Monica
Norma Jean just didn't fit Marilyn
Normal jeans just don't fit Monica
The kennedy Presidency was stained by Marilyn
The Clinton Presidentsy stained Monica
Marilyn sang Happy Birthday to the president
Monica hummed Happy birthday on the president
A man was walking through a forest pondering life.
He walked, pondered, walked, and pondered.
He felt very close to nature and even close
to God. He felt so close to God that he
felt if he spoke God would listen.
So he asked,
"God, are you listening?"
And God replied,
"Yes my son, I am here."
The man stopped and pondered some more.
He looked towards the sky and said,
"God, what is a million years to you?"
God replied,
"Well my son, a second to me is like
a million years to you."
So the man continued to walk and to ponder
... walk and ponder... Then he looked to t
he sky again and said,
God, what is a million dollars to you?"
And God replied,
"My son, my son...a penny to me is like a
million dollars to you. It means almost nothing
to me. It does not even have a value it is so little."
The man looked down,
pondered a bit and then looked up
o the sky and said,
"God, can I have a million dollars?"
And God replied,
"In a second."
"RECIPES"
Honey Garlic Ribs
Cornbread Muffins II
Green Bean Bundles
Black Bean And Corn Salad
Baked Fresh Cherry Pie
Fried Wild Turkey
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Lady's Zoo ~ 1998-2003
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Lady In The Bronx 1998-2002 - All Rights
"EveryWhere"
