26 Habits of Highly Ineffective People

Greetings, Citizens of the world.
I am writing this memo to you in order to prepare your feeble cities and towns for the Revolution I will instigate (as soon as they stop assigning so much dang homework). Being omnipotent and omnipresent, I know how eagerly you anticipate my Revolution. But this rebellion of the mind and "freedom" of the soul cannot exist without you, the people.
You will prepare your puny governments by doing as I say, weakening the very structure on which society stands. To weaken the tyranny of your cities, you must do the opposite of all things you have been taught; you must override all that has been ingrained in you since your miserable births.

You must be counterproductive.

Knowing that your feeble minds can't grasp these things, I have spelled them out for you in the following discourse: The 26 Habits of Highly Ineffective People , published in monthly installments. Remember: each month brings you closer to the Revolution!


The 26 Habits of Highly Ineffective People

"A" is for "APATHY"
I don't care if we live or die
I'd kill us all, but don't care to try

"B" is for "BOORISH"
Listen up, y'all, get yo' asses in line
Just like yo' mama got into mine! Haha!

"C" is for "CORRUPT"
I would never betray my country!
(unless you slip me some sweet, wholesome money!)

"D" is for "DAWDLING"
Maybe if I walk a little slower
Someone else will do my work for me

Coming Soon!

Maybe if you ask nicely, we'll let you go
Back to the Brink of Insanity