Conversations


2/21/01

MCD: (what about the keyboard?)
Kia: (I'm generally not at the keboard when it's snowing)
MCD: (suuure.)
Kia: STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER!!!!
MCD: (we believe you.)
Kia: < sirens >
Kia: YOU ARE SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME ONLINE
Kia: NOW GET UP (WE'LL WALK YOU THROUGH THIS), WALK TO THE DOOR
Kia: TURN THE HANDLE, OPEN THE DOOR
MCD: but......no!
MCD: (which door? the one leading to the bathroom?)
Kia: NO, FOOL, THE DOOR SWINGS IN THE DIRECTION OF WHERE THE HINGES ARE LOCATED
Kia: NOW TAKE A DEEP BREATH
Kia: CONGRATULATIONS, YOU HAVE TAKEN THE FIRST STEP TO REGAINING CONTROL OVER YOUR LIFE
Kia: I THINK MY COMPUTER IS STUCK ON CAPS LOCK
Kia: NUTS



(the most recent conversations are at the top)



01/01/02
Janet (8:41:45 PM): please do some sort of pagan snow dance. religion isn't necessarily good for much else. :)
Carbonaria (8:42:54 PM): good idea, I'll do it right after smallville -- maybe I'll throw some herbs from my kitchen cabinet around and ask for snow -- it is winter after all ;) so it shouldn't be a problem
Janet (8:43:27 PM): ha ha, i like how you arrange your religious ceremonies around your tv schedule.
Carbonaria (8:44:11 PM): well, smallville is a very important part of my life, and my religion is based on the cycle of my life, sooo... smallville is included


11/27/01
Empress of Wolves (10:04:02 PM): can you smell my spicey brains?
Janet (10:06:39 PM): *sniff*
Janet (10:06:45 PM): is that basil?


11/24/01
Rolfe (1:08:51 AM): you stalk people, eh?
Janet (1:09:26 AM): mm-hmm. :) :)
Janet (1:09:31 AM): but good stalking, not bad stalking.
Rolfe (1:13:57 AM): good stalking?
Rolfe (1:14:03 AM): what'
Rolfe (1:14:08 AM): s the difference betweenthe two?
Janet (1:14:38 AM): oh, you silly victims can't tell the difference. :)


11/4/01
HerrRolfe: now you must pay the ultimate price.
MCD:Which is...?
HerrRolfe: $9.95.
HerrRolfe: plus tax.

10/16/01
MCD: That is *too* blasphemy!
HerrRolfe: who do you think you are, the Catholic Church?
MCD: Yes.
MCD: Are you disputing my right to be the Catholic Church?
HerrRolfe: can I call you Cathy for short?
MCD: no.
HerrRolfe: ok, Cathy
HerrRolfe: no, I'm not.
MCD: *poke*
MCD: You'd better not be.
HerrRolfe: my eye!
HerrRolfe: damn you!
HerrRolfe: you with your large steeples!
MCD: You can't damn the Catholic Church.
MCD: It's not allowed!
HerrRolfe: too late
HerrRolfe: oops.
HerrRolfe: haha, screw you...I'm going to pick up a slut and start the Church of England
MCD: *gasp!*
MCD: The indignity!
MCD: The pain!
HerrRolfe: *bitch slaps Cathy*
MCD: *excommunicates Rolfe*
MCD: *pokes him again, for good measure*
HerrRolfe: *sends aid to the German Protestants*
MCD: *fumes*
MCD: *sends an army to the Netherlands*
HerrRolfe: *destroys Spanish fleet*
HerrRolfe: *experiences a civil war*
HerrRolfe: ouch!
MCD: hah!
MCD: Take *that*!
HerrRolfe: *emerges as a Puritan republic*
HerrRolfe: *wants to be able to lap dance again*
HerrRolfe: *kicks out those damn Puritans*
MCD: *notes the presence of TMI*
HerrRolfe: *invades Russia, starting World War III*
MCD: *retreats to rethink strategies a bit here*

MCD: but you were abusing the dragon!
Kia: it abused me first!

HerrRolfe: have you no soul?
MCD's Sister: no.
MCD's Sister but don't tell anyone.

HerrRolfe: the nun said "GIVE US OUR MONEY" and "God bless!" in the same sentence

09/04/01
MCD (8:44:57 PM): hmm.
Janet (8:46:36 PM): hmmm.
MCD (8:46:48 PM): hmmmm.
Janet (8:47:48 PM): that's exactly how i wanted you to respond. yeah, we're becoming psychic, or maybe just similar in habits.
MCD (8:48:03 PM): or both.
Janet (8:49:47 PM): ooh.
Janet (8:53:13 PM): you were supposed to respond "oooh." so much for my theory.
MCD (8:53:24 PM): oh. sorry.
MCD (8:53:28 PM): I wasn't paying attention.
MCD (8:53:44 PM): (on the other hand, I've concluded that I don't like dragon weave chainmaille)
Janet (8:54:06 PM): that is truly wonderful.
MCD (8:54:18 PM): yes.
Janet (8:56:51 PM): what does dragon weave look like?
MCD (8:57:06 PM): it actually looks like dragon scales: like 4-in-one, except there's a smaller link inside the larger one.
MCD (8:57:10 PM): if that makes any sense.
Janet (8:57:25 PM): why don't you like it?
MCD (8:57:33 PM): *shrug*
MCD (8:57:37 PM): it doesn't appeal tom e.
MCD (8:57:39 PM): to me.^
Janet (9:01:17 PM): aah.
MCD (9:02:46 PM): aaah.
Janet (9:03:01 PM): (yes!)
MCD (9:03:10 PM): (*grin*)
Janet (9:03:32 PM): (**grin**)
MCD (9:03:41 PM): (***grin***)
Janet (9:04:03 PM): okay, now my eyes hurt.
Janet (9:04:11 PM): the grins have wings!
MCD (9:04:20 PM): fly away, grins!
Janet (9:04:36 PM): like dragons! or bees.
MCD (9:04:52 PM): or misquitoes. *shudder*
Janet (9:07:01 PM): missquitoes?
MCD (9:07:19 PM): I was thinking more *shuddder* =)
Janet (9:08:17 PM): =) =)
MCD (9:08:30 PM): ouch. that makes my head hurt.
Janet (9:09:07 PM): i'm sorry it made your head hurrt.
MCD (9:10:33 PM): I'm sorry that it made my head hurrrt too.
Janet (9:11:53 PM): i'm really, really sorry that your head hurrrrts.
MCD (9:12:09 PM): do we really need to maintain a conversation about my poor hurrrrrting head?
Janet (9:13:33 PM): no.
MCD (9:13:42 PM): noo?
Janet (9:14:28 PM): definitely nooo.
MCD (9:14:38 PM): noooo!
Janet (9:17:14 PM): ohh, get over it.
MCD (9:17:33 PM): this is getting silly. =)
MCD (9:17:39 PM): very silly.
Janet (9:17:49 PM): sillly, you say?
MCD (9:17:57 PM): silllly, I say!
Janet (9:19:03 PM): we are two very bored individuals.
MCD (9:19:15 PM): yes.
MCD (9:19:21 PM): very, very bored individuals


09/04/01
Kia (9:37:58 PM): joy
Janet (9:39:16 PM): double-plus joy.
Kia (9:39:28 PM): heehee... obscure 1984 references
Janet (9:41:51 PM): i barely remember that novel, i read it in sixth grade. i should reread it.
Kia (9:42:39 PM): hehe... I would reread it, but a certain ex of mine is still borrowing my copy (I'll ask for it back eventually)
Janet (9:45:21 PM): my memories of fahrenheit 451 and brave new world will have to suffice for my dystopian literature knowledge.
Kia (9:45:30 PM): heehee... I read those too
Kia (9:45:37 PM): and A Clockwork Orange
Janet (9:47:41 PM): ah, i've yet to read that one. i just know that it was made into a good movie by stanley kubrick.
Kia (9:47:47 PM): yeah
Janet (9:50:38 PM): and i feel like i should read the novel before i see the movie. what's the plot?
Kia (9:51:07 PM): uh.... it's ultraviolent
Janet (9:53:40 PM): and that's all there is to the plot?
Kia (9:53:57 PM): well it's about this society where gangs basically rule the streets
Janet (9:54:15 PM): all i know about a clockwork orange is from a censored clip from a porn video on howard stern called "a clockwork orgy."


08/06/01
Janet (10:25:06 PM): i'm listening to the mission impossible 2 soundtrack. it has a bunch of hard rock artists, and then tori amos. which one of these does not belong?
MCD (10:25:15 PM): hmm.
MCD (10:25:18 PM): *thinks hard*
Janet (10:25:57 PM): *hears a pop* OH NO! KYREEEEEEE!
MCD (10:26:02 PM): eep!
MCD (10:26:05 PM): my brain!
Janet (10:26:20 PM): why do you have all of that in your brain? *peers*
MCD (10:26:36 PM): *tries to cover the hole in her head*
MCD (10:26:43 PM): the catsup is *not* my fault, alright?
Janet (10:27:27 PM): of course not. it's the elves living in your head who bought that low-quality ketchup at harris teeter.
MCD (10:27:41 PM): it all comes back to Harris Teeter, doesn't it.
Janet (10:28:15 PM): you of all people should know that - mrs. teeter!
MCD (10:28:27 PM): *gasp*
MCD (10:28:31 PM): I've been found out!
Janet (10:29:23 PM): and my discovery explains quite conveniently all those missing telephones.
MCD (10:29:50 PM): *puts everything back in her head. patches it with duct tape*
Janet (10:30:44 PM): a little shiny, but otherwise good as new. :)
MCD (10:31:16 PM): shiny is good!
Janet (10:32:25 PM): glittery is better.
MCD (10:32:36 PM): no, I don't like glittery most of the time.


08/04/01
Janet (5:59:32 PM): i think there's a direct relationship between the presence of schools and the amount of seratonin in my brain.
Janet (5:59:37 PM): AGH!
Janet (5:59:41 PM): SQUIRRELS, NOT SCHOOLS.
MCD (5:59:49 PM): *grin*
Janet (5:59:53 PM): that was a really ominous freudian slip.
MCD (6:00:00 PM): it was.
MCD (6:00:05 PM): I'm rather scared now.
Janet (6:00:15 PM): although that statement is true too, but squirrels and schools have the opposite affect on my seratonin levels.
MCD (6:00:25 PM): heh.
Janet (6:00:36 PM): man, i want a squirrel.
MCD (6:00:55 PM): hm.
Janet (6:01:29 PM): i want all the squirrels!
MCD (6:01:50 PM): *begins to back away slowly*
MCD (6:01:59 PM): you should get on IRC; we could continue this there. =)
Janet (6:02:35 PM): i will be the squirrel queen!


8/3/01
Someone: what is love
Kia: I was thinking about that today
Kia: I think that if somebody could come up with a working definition for it, so many people would be saved the trouble of wondering if they were truly in love
Kia: I burned my hand today


HerrRolfe: Oh, before I forget: If I do freeze up, my reset button is located in the front. Press it and... voila! Do not unplug me and then plug me back in. Do you have any clue how much that fucking pisses me off?
Kia: no
HerrRolfe: darn

07/27/01
Janet: guess what: the movie review for planet of the apes was really good in the style section, and not-so-good in the weekend section.
MCD: I know; they tend to disagree with each other like that.
MCD: weird, isn't it?
Janet: rita kempley and desson howe really need to get their acts together. it makes the washington post look bad.
MCD: yes.
MCD: or maybe there's a rivalry. =)
Janet: i need to figure out which review i agree with more, and only read that review.
Janet: i mean, which review i agree with more.
MCD: ah.
Janet: maybe they're bitter ex-lovers.
MCD: I'm sure that's it.
MCD: he took her couch when he left, and she's hated him ever since
Janet: it's her fault for not noticing when he stole the couch. i mean, she was sleeping on it at the time for pete's sake.
MCD: yes, but after he dumped her off on the floor like that...well, anyone who doesn't wake up when they hit the floor *that* hard almost deserves to have their couch be stolen.
Janet: it wasn't even a great couch. personally i've never liked plaid patterns on furniture.
MCD: and after her cats got through with it...
MCD: that sick one really did awful things.
Janet: yeah, and now the ripped up couch has a cat-sized stain on the middle cushion.
MCD: yup. it's kinda disgusting, to tell you the truth. I kept trying to convince her to get rid of it, but noooo.
Janet: considering the whole dog/stapler incident, i don't blame her for not listening to you.
MCD: hey! that was *not* my fault!
MCD: In fact, if I recall correctly, you were involved more than a little.
Janet: well how was i supposed to know that the stapler would react like that in a microwave?
MCD: I would've thought that prior experience would've enlightened you.
Janet: unfortunately my memory has been impaired since that awful january occurrence last year.
MCD: and *speaking* of the January occurrence, I would've *thought* you'd've learned the problem with metal in the microwave after the stapler incident, not to *mention* what you did with the toaster to "make it work faster"!
Janet: hey, you were the one who gave me the jello!
MCD: right, blame me.

IN WHICH KIA AND HERR ROLFE DISCUSS THE FINER POINTS OF MUSIC...
Kia: I like the song about the cat, but not as much as the bike song
HerrRolfe: the bike song rocks
Kia: yes
Kia: my mom thinks it's "cute". She likes it too
HerrRolfe: it's psychadelic
Kia: yes
Kia: I think I can quote most of the lyrics in order by memory now, sadly
HerrRolfe: I can too
HerrRolfe: = ) it's such a queer song
Kia: queer?
HerrRolfe: queer
Kia: (girlish squeal)
Kia: it's *fantabulous*!
HerrRolfe: Syd Barrett is soooo cute!
Kia: I *know*!
Kia: And I don't even have a clue as to what he looks like!
Kia: er.. looked like?
Kia: is he dead?
HerrRolfe: he's still alive
Kia: oh, that's *wonderful*!
HerrRolfe: he's living somewhere in England with his mother
HerrRolfe: well, he was. I think she might be dead
Kia: meh... well, that's what I'd do if my band dumped me
Kia: oh
Kia: when was this?
HerrRolfe: he said that if the band added two saxaphone players that they'd be "bigger than the Beatles"...it's no wonder that they dumped him
I dunno
HerrRolfe: Pictures
second picture from the top
Kia: hey...
Kia: are you suggesting that two saxophone players is a bad thing?
HerrRolfe: I have nothing against saxaphones
Kia: good
Kia: but do you have anything against saxophones?
HerrRolfe: I just don't think that having two permanent band members on the saxaphone would have been wise
HerrRolfe: no
Kia: = )
Kia: me neither
HerrRolfe: blast
Kia: he's not bad looking. Or he wasn't bad looking.
HerrRolfe: he's better than most
Kia: most of the other members? Yes.
HerrRolfe: yeah
HerrRolfe: Gilmour isn't bad looking
HerrRolfe: well, when he was younger, he wasn't
Kia: which one is that?
HerrRolfe: he plays the guitar
Kia: Syd Barrett looks better
HerrRolfe: http://www.geocities.com/pfenigmadg/ey65.jpg
Kia: meh.
HerrRolfe: he didn't age well.
Kia: But Syd Barrett did the Bike song!
HerrRolfe: true
HerrRolfe: eeew
Kia: is this the same guy?
HerrRolfe: that's Gilmour
Kia: whoa
Kia: wait a second... back up.... am I actually involved in a discussion about the attractiveness of the members of Pink Floyd?
HerrRolfe: he was pretty built, back in the day
HerrRolfe: yes, you are
Kia: oh my
Kia: I never saw that one coming
HerrRolfe: and to make matters worse, it's with me
Kia: yes
Kia: oh my
HerrRolfe: Stefan would be proud


Note from MCD:
All funny fonts and colors are courtesy of Janet, and I therefore take no responsibility for said fonts and colors.
Edit: Same for sad fonts and colors, come to speak of it.


Note from Janet:
DOWN WITH FASCIST HTML!
MCD of all people complaining about my use of colors... :P

07/25/01
#8921567: (2:37 AM) l wanna see your tits jiggle
Janet: (2:39 AM) i'm a man.

Janet: (2:39 AM) but you can see my tits jiggle any time you like, sexy.


7/22/01
ramah-3 (2:03 PM) hii
how are you?
are you here?

Janet (2:03 PM) hi
ramah-3 (2:04 PM) hii
ramah-3 (2:04 PM) how are you?
Janet (2:04 PM) i'm alright. you?
ramah-3 (2:05 PM) fin
why about your age?

ramah-3 (2:06 PM) what about your age?
ramah-3 (2:07 PM) are you sleep?
Janet (2:07 PM) i'm 14
ramah-3 (2:07 PM) not good
ramah-3 (2:09 PM) are you here?
Janet (2:10 PM) what's not good?
ramah-3 (2:10 PM) you too younger for me
Janet (2:11 PM) so why are you still talking to me?
ramah-3 (2:12 PM) because i am love acheldrin
Janet (2:13 PM) what's that?
ramah-3 (2:14 PM) no thing
iam sorry

Janet (2:15 PM) what's acheldrin?
ramah-3 (2:15 PM) baby
Janet (2:16 PM) are you a pedophile?
ramah-3 (2:16 PM) no
Janet (2:16 PM) do you love children?
ramah-3 (2:17 PM) of cours
Janet (2:19 PM) what do you do with children?
ramah-3 (2:20 PM) no thing
your idea is very bad about me
iam joky with you

Janet (2:22 PM) don't joky with me, do you know what "joky" means in slang?
ramah-3 (2:22 PM) no
funny

Janet (2:23 PM)) "joky" means "to bite on the toes."
ramah-3 (2:26 PM) what about you?
Janet (2:26 PM) what are you talking about?
ramah-3 (2:27 PM) any thing important about you.
Janet (2:28 PM) i'm 14.
ramah-3 (2:29 PM) and i know that
[Darn! Signs of intelligence.]
Janet (2:29 PM) do you think i'm a child?
ramah-3 (2:30 PM) now
iam sure no

Janet (2:30 PM) so you don't think i'm a child?
ramah-3 (2:31 PM) ok
what you think?

Janet (2:34 PM) i think i'm a teenager.
Janet (2:35 PM) i also think you're a pedophile.
ramah-3's ICQ # is 123291051

07/19/01 (early morning)
F|2|) (1:14 AM) hi!
Janet (1:15 AM) hi.
F|2|) (1:15 AM) how are u?
Janet (1:15 AM) i'm alright. you?
F|2|) (1:16 AM) i'm ok
a/s/l?

Janet (1:16 AM) 14/f/oklahoma
F|2|) (1:16 AM) cool!
what do u look like? (details plz)

Janet (1:18 AM) 6'2" blond hair, brown eyes, 38DD
F|2|) (1:18 AM) really?
Janet (1:18 AM) yeah
F|2|) (1:18 AM) do u have a pic?
Janet (1:19 AM) no not on this computer
F|2|) (1:20 AM) oh
do u like to have big boobs?

Janet (1:20 AM) yeah its cool. i got them from mymom
F|2|) (1:21 AM) what is your moms size?
Janet (1:22 AM) she was like 44D before she got a boob job
Janet (1:22 AM) so are u wild
F|2|) (1:22 AM) yes
do u?

Janet (1:23 AM) yes i am very wild. i have four bfs im playing all of them
F|2|) (1:25 AM) do u have mic and speakers?
Janet (1:25 AM) are u a player
Janet (1:25 AM) no i dont have a mic
F|2|) (1:26 AM) sometimes
do u like to wear a bra or a sports bra?

Janet (1:27 AM) i dont like bras
F|2|) (1:27 AM) what do u like?
Janet (1:28 AM) i like to go bra-less its more natural
Janet (1:28 AM) im very natural, some ppl in my family are nudists
F|2|) (1:28 AM) do u like when your nipples get hard?
Janet (1:29 AM) sure do you like it when your dicks hard
F|2|) (1:29 AM) yeah
do u like when your nipples can be seen through your t-shirts?

Janet (1:30 AM) yeah baby
Janet (1:30 AM) do ur nipples get hard?
Janet (1:30 AM) u wanna see a pic of my piercings
F|2|) (1:30 AM) no, only when i'm cold
yours?

Janet (1:31 AM) yeah but also when im horny
F|2|) (1:31 AM) yeah
send a pic plz

Janet (1:32 AM) go to http://www.tribalectic.com/glrydetails3.asp?UID=953
F|2|) (1:33 AM) they are awesome
Janet (1:34 AM) yeah my stepdad did them, hes cool
Janet (1:34 AM) do u have any piercings or tattoos?
F|2|) (1:34 AM) nope
i want a piercing in my nose

Janet (1:35 AM) do u want to know what else i have pierced
F|2|) (1:36 AM) yeah!
Janet (1:37 AM) my nipples, my septum, one of my eyebrws, my navel and my clit
Janet (1:37 AM) my stepdad did all of them, he was real smooth
F|2|) (1:38 AM) do u have your clit pierced?
Janet (1:38 AM) yeah the hood is pierced but it has a nasty infection rght now
Janet (1:39 AM) how big is your dick
F|2|) (1:40 AM) what kind of infection?
Janet (1:41 AM) its okay i just use an annaceptic. it burns but its a really good type of burn
F|2|) (1:41 AM) it is about 7 inches
Janet (1:41 AM) limp or erect?
F|2|) (1:41 AM) erect
Janet (1:42 AM) the infectio makes me realyl horny all the time, my stepdad says thats normal
F|2|) (1:43 AM) have u tried masturbation?
Janet (1:44 AM) thats what my stepdad said but im not into that. i dont need to masterbate to get sex
F|2|) (1:45 AM) can u do me a big favor?
Janet (1:45 AM) maybe
F|2|) (1:46 AM) tell me what clothes are u wearing right now (describe your outside clothes and describe your underwear with LOTS of details, make me horny)
Janet (1:48 AM) ok first im wearing my moms bunny slippers
Janet (1:50 AM) and then im wearing my purple panties that have little crosses on them. their real tite and low cut. their satin. there are lace ruffels along the alastic.
Janet (1:52 AM) then im not wearing a bra my boobs are free like doves. the nippel rings are pink. im wearing my stepdads white tank top, but its mine now cause i stretched it out so much

Note from Janet: Sometime around then he logged off. Notice how he didn't say anything about himself - I feel so used. *sniff*

F|2|)'s ICQ # is 26197490.

07/13/01, early morning
andrew (3:01 AM) hello!!
Janet (3:01 AM) hi.
andrew (3:01 AM) hi!!
[Note from Janet: he never uses just one exclamation point or question mark.]
Janet (3:01 AM) how are you?
andrew (3:02 AM) fine,and you??
andrew (3:02 AM) where are you??
andrew (3:02 AM) i'm in china!!
Janet (3:02 AM) i'm alright. i live in virginia, u.s.a.
andrew (3:03 AM) ic, i am in hangzhou of china!!
Janet (3:04 AM) is that a city or a region in china?
andrew (3:04 AM) westlake,know??
andrew (3:04 AM) yeah!!
andrew (3:05 AM) city,hangzhou!!
Janet (3:05 AM) westlake? i've never heard of westlake.
andrew (3:05 AM) westlake of hangzhou???
Janet (3:06 AM) i don't know anything about hangzhou.
andrew (3:08 AM) interprovincial of zhejiang!!
Janet (3:09 AM) oh. what chinese language do you speak? cantonese, mandarin, or something else?
[trying to show off my limited knowledge of chinese culture...]
andrew (3:09 AM) interprovincial of chekiang
andrew (3:10 AM) westlake is goodliness!!
andrew (3:11 AM) know??
Janet (3:12 AM) i've never heard of hangzhou, westlake, zheijiang, or chekiang.
Janet (3:13 AM) what is china?
[that was when i decided that it wasn't worth trying for a real conversation.]
andrew (3:14 AM) goodliness!!
andrew (3:15 AM) well come to china!!
Janet (3:16 AM) parlez-vous francais? j'etudiais le francais, mais seulement pour deux ans.
["do you speak french? i have been studying french, but only for two years."]
Janet (3:16 AM) alors, quel age avez-vous? j'ai trente ans.
["so, how old are you? i'm thirty years old."]
andrew (3:17 AM) i don't know!!
andrew (3:17 AM) repeat!!
[repeat? the words are written on the screen.]
Janet (3:18 AM) qu'est-ce que c'est que tu ne sais pas? tu ne parles pas anglais tres bien.
["what is it that you don't know? you don't speak english very well."]
andrew (3:19 AM) ok!!
andrew (3:20 AM) you say!!
Janet (3:21 AM) pourquoi est-ce que tu ne me dit pas de ton age?
[literally, "why aren't you telling me about your age?"]

[Note from Janet: and then, alas, my connection connection fucked up. farewell, andrew.]

andrew's ICQ # is 123934611.

07/01/01
Janet (10:53:00 PM):i feel sorry for men named gywdion.
MCD (10:54:19 PM):yeah.


5/24/01


Kia: who was this?
Herrrolfe: Briscoe
Kia: hehe...
Herrrolfe: I hope he sings to us


Kia: hellow
Kia: hello*
Kia: (it's a sad sad day in the world of phonics)


Kia: how does one go about breaking a bowling ball?
Anonymous: well...you haven't seen me bowl yet...


Herrrolfe: what you know about your topic
Kia: ok
Kia: (which would be nothing)
Herrrolfe: same here
Herrrolfe: so I went to washingtonpost.com
Kia: I went to ask jeeves
Herrrolfe: ok
Kia: I love Jeeves. He keeps on saving my sorry ass.
Herrrolfe: we should get him a present
Kia: yes. I'll ask him what he wants.
Kia:Ask Jeeves Results
Herrrolfe: not cookies.
Kia: cookies is a good idea too
Herrrolfe: where would we send them?
Kia: hm....
Kia: I don't know
Kia: I'll work on that
Kia: Jeeves must be properly thanked
Herrrolfe: good
Herrrolfe: yes


MCD: Credo nonnullos hic mortuos esse.
I think that several people here are dead.
Kia: which ones?
MCD: those ones.
Kia: ohhh.... *those* ones.
Kia: what about the other ones?
MCD: they may or may not be alive.
MCD: some of them are in comas, I think.
Kia: why?
Kia: uh-oh
MCD: um....
Kia: this doesn't have anything to do with the penguins incident, does it?
MCD: no!
MCD: *nervous glance*
Kia: phew
MCD: what did I *tell* you about talking about the penguin incident around them?!
Kia: oh. Sorry.
MCD: you should be!
MCD: see how they're twitching now?
Kia: I didn't mean for it to happen!
MCD: I would hope not!
Kia: Just one little time won't hurt you, they said
MCD: no, you said that.
Kia: It shouldn't be any trouble at all, they said
MCD: they nodded blearily. remember?
Kia: but noooo.... they had to get the penguins involved
MCD: alright, *that* was them.
MCD: still, they didn't deserve to die!
Kia: nobody does
Kia: (except that one fellow)
MCD: (which?)
MCD: (the one with the big nose?)
Kia: (*that* one)
Kia: (no... the other one)
MCD: (oh, *that* one. why didn't you say so?)
Kia: (I did)



3/7/01


Herrrolfe: I can't believe you don't like my collective farms
MCD: you and your collective farms

2/22/01


Kia: are you working on the conversations page right now?
MCD: I just finished.
Kia: cool. So I could do something to it, right?
MCD: of course, but put it below the conversation where you typed in all caps.
Kia: I'm not adding something
MCD:oh, alright
Kia: (sinister laughter)
MCD: *naive smile*
Kia: = )


Kia: aha! I am a pure capitalist!
Kia: (translation: I left my Communist Manifesto at school)

2/21/01


MCD: just grand.
Kia: = )
Kia: ah, but is it dandy?
MCD: I don't know.
Kia: ok
MCD: I'll have to think about that one.
Kia: fair enough
MCD: *thinks*
MCD: *consults cat*
MCD: we've decided that it's moderately dandy.
Kia: oh wonderful


Herrrolfe: the rainbows have returned
Herrrolfe: in pog form!


Janet:try to envision what the patron saint of the internet would look like. would he look like the funny pink spacemen from intel commercials?
MCD: he could be cyberpunk...
MCD: or dress like one of the people in The Matrix...
Janet: hehe.
Janet: with a big tacky cross 'round his neck.
MCD: of course!
Janet: "my code name is 'rosarydude560.'"
MCD: In my right hand, I hold the mighty keyboard; in my left, the all-powerful mouse.
Janet: and with my keyboard, and my mouse, i will SAVE YOU from the darkness!
MCD: :):):):):)
MCD: behold! Emoticons, the work of the Devil!
MCD: We must purge!
Janet: you could pray to him, and he'd protect your computer from crashes, viruses, kiddie porn, and those weird hippie wiccianists.


MCD: "Hi! I'm the incarnation of totalitarianism! And I'm here to talk to you about politcial-economic ideologies!"
Kia: hey!
Kia: that was NOT totalitarianism!


Herrrolfe: so!1
Herrrolfe: 1
Herrrolfe: 2
Herrrolfe: 3!
MCD: paper!
Herrrolfe: my 3 beats that
MCD: no it doesn't.
MCD: paper obviously beats three.
Herrrolfe: fool!
Herrrolfe: 3 is the Doomsday number!
Herrrolfe: it's the Number of Incompletion!
MCD: it's also between 2 and 4, and paper beats both of those!
Herrrolfe: ...but not 3!
MCD: yes it does!


INTERLUDE: 2/21/01
---------
Kia: hm...
Kia: I'm afraid Herr Rolfe is right...
MCD: about what?
MCD: the rainbow pogs?
Kia: 3 definitely beats paper
MCD: no!
Kia: sorry, man
MCD: NEVER!
MCD: *sob*
Kia: I knew you couldn't handle the truth
MCD: I don't believe it!
MCD: I won't! ---------


MCD: I have to go.
MCD: little rainbows.
Herrrolfe: AHH!
Herrrolfe: DIE!
MCD: the three?
MCD: what'd it do to you?
Herrrolfe: it ate my picture.
MCD: nooooooo!
Herrrolfe: and it snorted my Tang!
MCD: goodbye.


Herrrolfe: and it snorted my Tang!
Kia: dude, you're into kiddie dope like tang
Kia: but me, I'm into hard core drugs!
Kia: like Orangina, baby!
Kia: Awwww yeah
Herrrolfe: that's the stuff.


Kia: Today, before school started, I was sitting with Anne. Mrs. Russel was the only other person there
MCD: that happens to me every day in Briscoe's room.
Kia: so Mrs. Russell says, "It's good weather for ducks"
Kia: and I say, "I like ducks"
Kia: (Mrs. Russell burst out laughing, so I had to explain myself)
Kia: And then, somehow, we started talking about samsara and ducks
MCD: she said that to us too.
Kia: what-- samsara and ducks?
MCD: samsara and...ducks?!
Kia: or it's weather for ducks?
MCD: weather.
MCD: doesn't paper beat three?


MCD: " Herrrolfe: because I SMOKE CRACK"
Kia: MEEE TOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Kia: It onLY tAkeis CraKC 5 sECoindsa tO Geit to Yauro Braiinananana
Kia: (I learned this in health class today)

RIIIIIGHT...HEALTH CLASS...


Herrrolfe: "Meet tobacco. He's a good friend of mine."
MCD: and what else have you been smoking?
Herrrolfe: Tang.
MCD: wow.
MCD: I'm in awe.
Herrrolfe: it's great.
MCD: but I still want to see your drawing from science.
Herrrolfe: I'll give you some for free.
MCD: that's alright.
Herrrolfe: c'mon, everyone else is doing it.
Herrrolfe: because I SMOKE CRACK!


Herrrolfe: you know what I mean, Batman.
Herrrolfe: gruuu?!?


Kia: because, I mean, whenever I'm bored, I like to think about aardvarks

(while speaking to Kia:)

Someone: i am not (censored)
Someone: i am....
Someone: SANTAN
Someone: !!!!!!
Someone: I MEAN SATAN!!!

MCD speaking to Herr Rolfe:

MCD: (fuzzy fuzzy fuzzy fuzzy fuzzy!)


Minor, hypothetically temporary ailment on MCD's part...


MCD: name a vegetable.
Kia: cabbages
Kia: er...
Kia: that's not a vegetable
MCD: isn't it?
MCD: (I wouldn't know.)
Kia: no
MCD: alright; try again.
Kia: okra is though
MCD: hm, you're supposed to say 'carrot,' according to this psycology test thing.
Kia: er... ok
Kia:: carrot
MCD: thanks.


MCD: alright, you name a vegetable.
MCD: come on, it isn't a hard question.
Herrrolfe: hmm...
Herrrolfe: yes it is


MCD:: name a vegetable.
Janet: carrot
MCD: you're the only one who's said what they're supposed to!
MCD: congratulations.


MCD: name a vegetable.
MCD: (sorry if this is redundant; I got kicked off.)
Turtleperson: cucumber
Turtleperson: oh
MCD: *sigh*
Turtleperson: what?
MCD: you're supposed to say 'carrot'
MCD: 1/4 isn't a very good track record, is it.
Turtleperson: I was thinking carrot but then I thought green=vegetable so I said cucumber
MCD: so close!
MCD: ah well.
Turtleperson: If I had continued thinking orange I would've said carrot
Turtleperson: but unfortunately green popped up
MCD: too bad.

The Madness Continues!


Kia: Greetings. Can you name a vegetable?
Another Random Idiot: um... steak
Kia: thank you
Kia: your answer will be duly processed




Another Random Idiot: who r u?
Kia: well, I see you've been talking to someone under the Alias of "Diablo," am I correct?
Another Random Idiot: ya
Kia: I'm his parole officer
Another Random Idiot: ok


MCD: Turn into a Cabbage!
Janet: okay.
MCD: it's bizarre.
Janet: very much so.
MCD: I'm now officially a Chinese cabbage.
Janet: amazing how the really simple, stupid stuff can be so clever and funny.
MCD: yep
Janet: have you seen the guestbook?
Janet:
Cabbage Name : Fiona poo face
Email (optional) : CABBAGE6666@aol.com
Cabbage Type : I'm just big n leafy
URL :
How did you find the page? :
Comments : Look! Look at my e-mail address!! I have been a cabbage for over a year now, and only found your site today. keep on fighting for your right to cabbage, and make sure you get enough water and sunlight to stay leafy. Together, we shall form a new future fo
MCD: w ow.
Janet: "I AM THE GOD OF ALL CABBAGES YOU WILL ALL WORSHIP ME!!"
MCD: =)
Janet: today i went through the washington post's personal ads and cut out all the funny ones.
.. (discussion of weird personal ads) ..
Janet: i fear anyone who pretends to be a dead guy.
MCD: with good reason!
Janet: (and anyone who thinks he/she's a cabbage, for that matter.)
MCD: (do you have something against cabbages?!)
Janet: (you suspected?!?)
MCD: (you're blatantly obvious about your little problem, Janet.)
Janet: (you can't tell anyone! i'll be lynched!)
MCD: (actually, I think cabbages are fairly stationary.)


MCD: my ear! my eauioouuuuuuuuuullllllll
MCD: I just collapsed onto the keyboard; couldn't you tell?
Kia: sometimes you scare me.


Some Random Idiot: Sup?
Herrrolfe: nm man, u?
Herrrolfe: why is your hair green?
Some Random Idiot: um... nm... i died it..?
Herrrolfe: oh, that would do it.





Herrrolfe: I DO IT EVERY DAY
Some Random Idiot: ok... so im havein a prob here
Herrrolfe: AND I JUST LOVE TO EXPLAIN HOW TO DO IT TO IGNORANT FOOLS




Some Random Idiot: i cant get the item on the game
Some Random Idiot: oh... THANKS!!!
Herrrolfe: THAT'S BECAUSE YOU SMELL LIKE CHLORINE.
Some Random Idiot: lol... howd u know?
Herrrolfe: I AM DIABLO! DIABLO KNOWS ALL!




Herrrolfe: SACRIFICE YOURSELF TO THE EAST ASIA CO-PROSPERITY SPHERE
Some Random Idiot: huh?



Herrrolfe: YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!
Herrrolfe: HEIL TOJO!
Some Random Idiot: no... i never go to multi player if thats what ur talkin about
Herrrolfe: OH.



Some Random Idiot: fine cap... cheesey
Herrrolfe: I AM DIABLO!
Herrrolfe: THAT STUFF SUCKS




Some Random Idiot: not until i get some kick ass stuff
Herrrolfe: GEEZ MAN
Herrrolfe: WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU THINKING?
Some Random Idiot: what was i thinking?
Herrrolfe: AMERICANS WITH KILL APPEAL!




Herrrolfe: WHAT THEY NEED IS A DARN GOOD WHACKING!
Herrrolfe: OK
Herrrolfe: HERE'S WHAT YOU DO
Some Random Idiot: listenin
Herrrolfe: GO TO WWW.ANGELFIRE.COM/NY3/WASTEOFSPACE
Some Random Idiot: huh?
Herrrolfe: IT WILL SOLVE ALL OF YOUR PROBLEMS, FOOLISH MORTAL




Herrrolfe: FOOL!
Herrrolfe: YOU MUST HAVE DESTROYED IT!
Some Random Idiot: um... no
Herrrolfe: I WILL NOW BLOCK YOU ETERNALLY.
Some Random Idiot: why?
Some Random Idiot: i didnt do anything
Herrrolfe: YOU RUINED MY LIFE'S WORK
Some Random Idiot: no i didnt
Herrrolfe: I WILL HAVE TO SWALLOW SOME PILLS AND DIE NOW




Herrrolfe: UNTIL THEN....MAY BAAL'S DESTRUCTION BE WITH YOU
Some Random Idiot: um... sure



Yet Another Random Idiot: do you know Aaron Davis??
Herrrolfe: yeah man
Herrrolfe: he's my best friend
Herrrolfe: do you know him?
Yet Another Random Idiot: yepperZ
Yet Another Random Idiot: what grade are you in??
Herrrolfe: 11th grade, of course.
Herrrolfe: you?
Yet Another Random Idiot: LoL..6th
Yet Another Random Idiot: do you know this new kid in 10th...his name is Brandon??
Herrrolfe: oh yeah
Herrrolfe: he's my homie.
Yet Another Random Idiot: 4 real??
Yet Another Random Idiot: do you know his number??
Herrrolfe: nah man
Herrrolfe: I forget
Herrrolfe: but he's my dawg!
Yet Another Random Idiot: ok can you get his number for me??..
Herrrolfe: of course...for a price.
Yet Another Random Idiot: of??
Herrrolfe: five dollars.
Yet Another Random Idiot: when am I ever going to see you??
Herrrolfe: well...
Herrrolfe: do you know that kid Ian?
Yet Another Random Idiot: Ian Humm??
Herrrolfe: yeah man
Yet Another Random Idiot:: yeah what about him??
Herrrolfe: he's cool with me
Herrrolfe: and
Herrrolfe: you could give him the cash
Herrrolfe: he'd give it to me for you
Yet Another Random Idiot: how do you know Ian??
Herrrolfe: I've got a little brother
Herrrolfe: Ian comes to our house
Yet Another Random Idiot: LoL..
Yet Another Random Idiot: ok if you get me the hook up with Brandon I'll give you the money
Herrrolfe: excellent dude
Herrrolfe: aight
Herrrolfe: here's the number
Yet Another Random Idiot: LoL...oh and my names Schyler
Herrrolfe: oh, I have heard of you
Herrrolfe: you're really popular, right?
Yet Another Random Idiot: you have??
Yet Another Random Idiot: yeah
Herrrolfe: well
Yet Another Random Idiot:....
Herrrolfe: the number is 533-9627
Herrrolfe: I need my cash now boy
Yet Another Random Idiot:ok when I see Ian at school tom. or whenever we have school I'll give him the money ok??
Herrrolfe: alrighty dude
Herrrolfe: thanks,
Herrrolfe: cause I really need some cash
Yet Another Random Idiot:yepperZ pepperZ...where did you hear from me??
Yet Another Random Idiot:about*
Herrrolfe: from Tommy G. and Bob.
Yet Another Random Idiot:what??
Yet Another Random Idiot:liar
Herrrolfe: seriously man
Herrrolfe: they like you
Yet Another Random Idiot:uh huh
Yet Another Random Idiot:i've never even heard of them
Herrrolfe: dude
Herrrolfe: they go to my school
Yet Another Random Idiot:ok?...
Herrrolfe: and they're friends with someone who has a younger sister
Yet Another Random Idiot:but my names Schyler Keene..whats urs??
Herrrolfe: at your school
Herrrolfe: my name is Diablo.
Herrrolfe: Dee Ablo, that is
Herrrolfe: I'm Hispanic.
Yet Another Random Idiot:I thought it was Matt??
Herrrolfe: No, my brother uses this s/n too
Herrrolfe: that's him
Herrrolfe: I am Dee Ablo


Herrrolfe: you tell the truth!
Kia:is that a demand or a statement?
Herrrolfe: A demand.
Kia:I see
Kia:ok, here goes:
Kia:I am tired and bored
Kia: good night


Herrrolfe: (sob)
Herrrolfe: = ((((((((((((((((
MCD: hah! YOU are not asterik-enabled!
Herrrolfe: *sob*
MCD: too late!
MCD: muahahahah!
Herrrolfe: "like a leper messiah"
MCD: one word: "wacky."
Herrrolfe: one word: "Bowie"
MCD: I win.
MCD: (rock - paper - scissors)
Herrrolfe: why?
MCD: ugh, I've been reading the UBB too much.
Herrrolfe: remember that web site?
MCD: which?
Herrrolfe: because I don't.
MCD: there are quite a few, you know.
Herrrolfe: all of them!
Herrrolfe: bring them into your head!
MCD: then yes, I remember.
Herrrolfe: then push most of them out!
MCD: they're with me all the time!
MCD: I can't help it!
Herrrolfe: good God, man!
Herrrolfe: uh oh...
Herrrolfe: it's spreading! *argggg*
Herrrolfe: haha! Mornington!
MCD: not me. you?
Herrrolfe: Kia.
MCD: Kia?!
MCD: no.
Herrrolfe: yes.
MCD: I don't believe you unless she tells me what Knid is.
MCD: (wow; it's like our own little language......)
Herrrolfe: like Pig Latin!
MCD: only different!
Herrrolfe: yeah!
MCD: because no one will ever decipher Mornington Crescent!

conversation(s) with ELIZA

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