The Brink Presents...

Words of Wisdom for Modern Mankind

"Pissing People Off for More than Sixteen Years... the TM Way!"

*The TechnicolorTM Misanthrope does not claim liability for any disillusionment, depression, criminal acts, fines, incarcerations, insanity, deaths, drug abuse, miscarriages, orgies, strange falling sensations, arson, penguins, anger, fear, bewilderment, physical emotional mental or spiritual damage, eternal damnation or other Acts of God, weight gain, or any other negative side effects which may or may not occur as a result of viewing and/or acting upon the advice of the TechnicolorTM Misanthrope.
*The TechnicolorTM Misanthrope also does not claim liability for the fact that you are a stupid, lazy, incompetent, spineless little shit, nor does the TechnicolorTM Misanthrope assume any responsibility for any actions you might take as a result of this fact.
*The TechnicolorTM Misanthrope would also like to take this opportunity to ask you to go to hell, you fucking bastard.**

**SIDE NOTE: There is no side note.**

1. Apathy is the best policy.
2. When in doubt, make wild accusations implicating everything and everyone.
3. The glass is half full. Of bullshit.
4. Has it ever occurred to you that they might be laughing at you, not with you?
5. Slow and steady does not win the race. Slow and steady gets to the halfway mark about the time that the prizes have been distributed and everyone's gone home.
6. If I had a quarter for every stupid thing I heard someone say, I'd quit my job.
7. A wise man trusts no one but himself. And he also steals all your stuff when you're not looking, the little fucker.

8. Two heads are better than one. You can bash them together.
9. When Life gives you lemons, squirt citric acid into Life's eyes and then spike his drink with piss while he's temporarily blinded.
10. Whenever you're feeling down, just remember: God made you. He was obviously smashed at the time, though.
11. Everything I needed to know about life, I learned in kindergarten... If you want something someone else has, hit him, grab his stuff, run like hell and hope the teacher doesn't catch you and put you in time out.
12. People seem so intelligent until the instant they open their mouths.
13. When people tell you that everyone's entitled to their own opinions, kindly beat them into oblivion for me.
14. The only thing that distinguishes the good guys from the bad is who's currently in power.

15. If at first you don't succeed, give up all hope, start drinking heavily and blame all of your problems on your shitty childhood.
16. If we're really serious about this whole ending world hunger and decreasing human overpopulation business, don't you think we should've reverted to cannibalism by now?
17. I agree that we have much to learn from nature. Jumping up and down and screeching while hurling feces at someone, for example, is an excellent way to get your point across... don't you think?
18. You know, if every time a bell rings your mouth starts to water, you should probably see a doctor about that.
19. For all the contributions he made to science, you owe Darwin a favor. So go shoot yourself.
20. When it comes to matters of the spirit, don't follow your heart; your liver's much bigger.
21. Keeping in mind that there is a fine line between mediocrity and evil, it's amazing what good balance some people have.

22. Those who live in glass houses shouldn't complain when they want to masturbate to old Lamb Chop videos because they brought it upon themselves, really.
23. The early bird may catch the worm, but the early worm experiences an excrutiatingly painful death by being eaten and digested by a huge, winged monster.
24. Give a hungry man a grenade launcher and he'll use it to hold up banks and convenience stores. Teach a hungry man how to use that grenade launcher, and... You aren't very bright, now; are you?
25. Whenever you're about to lose faith in mankind, it helps to remember that most people aren't evil, just incredibly, incredibly stupid.
26. If you fail, but tried your best, you've still failed.
27. Stalking: the best way to show that special someone how much you care.
28. The best way to win an argument is by shouting random insults at your opponent that are not only blatantly untrue, but also have absolutely nothing to do with the subject in question. It's pretty damn hard to refute that.

29. Never praise children; it only gives them false hope.
30. The wonderful thing about arson is that it's so versatile.
31. The best way to make someone hate you is to be completely honest with them.
32. When Mark Twain said, "It isn't the size of the dog in the fight; it's the size of the fight in the dog," he obviously wasn't thinking about Doberman v. Chihuahua...
33. Threats are only effective if you have a reputation for following through on them.
34. Having a hobby that you enjoy is very important. It helps pass away the time while you're waiting to die.
35. A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step, followed by innumerable other steps, blisters, dehydration, exhaustion, and eventually a stroke.

36. I don't really know you, but I'd probably hate you if I did.
37. Mankind: The Amazing Walking Talking Mechanical (but not Technicolor) Meat
38. Remember, kids: the only difference between a human and a gorilla is a measly decimal point percentage of their DNA sequences
39. The next time you feel the need to complain about something you have to do, I want you to ask yourself first, "Why do I have to do this? Is it my own damn fault?" I don't want to hear you bitch.
40. You're only doing something immoral if (a)your sense of guilt overwhelms you, or (b)you get caught.
41. Contrary to what they teach you in kindergarten, not everyone is special. "Special" is a relative term; it is defined by being above average, unique or otherwise superior. If there wasn't a majority of average and dull people, no individual could rise above the masses to be considered "special." Statistical odds are that you're a member of the majority. It's entirely possible, and very likely, that you're just not special.
42. Start a hate chain. Yell at a friend. They'll go take out their anger on another individual, who will vent their anger on yet another individual, so on and so forth. Hate: the gift that keeps on giving.

Now, doesn't it make you feel better?

"And if the cloudbursts thunder in your ear
(You shout, but no one seems to hear...)

The Brink of Insanity!

(I've had enough of this shit)

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Send your worthless bitching to

According to Personality Test, the TMTM is:
Paranoid:Very High
Schizotypal:Very High
Borderline:Very High
Narcissistic:Very High

Well, screw them too.

"Then, inevitably, man would die and rot away, until nothing was left of his spiritual body but deteriorating bones and dirt. Death would sweep its hand across the Earth, like a child knocking over sandcastles, and all of men’s “accomplishments,” magnificent and insignificant alike, would be leveled to the ground. Death was the Great Justice of humanity; in death, all men were equal. If each man met the same end, why did it matter how he got there? Why did it matter whether or not he had been “successful” or “well-adjusted” by the current conventional standards before he turned into a heap of dust?"

--The Technicolor Misanthrope
Sonata in Three Movements (Movement Three: Machine)

"Some people think I’m very spiteful. They think that I say that sort of thing just to provoke people. They act as if I’m trying to be a smartass or something. A rebel without a cause. I’m not, though. Really—I just don’t mind telling people what I think is the truth. I was never big on church and all, but if they taught you one important thing in Sunday School, it’s to always tell people the truth."

--The Technicolor Misanthrope
The Perfectionist, the Coward and the Misanthope (Chapter 2: Amber Sky)

The Brink has been around at least three years now, but it still hasn't received any hate mail yet.
I wonder what I'm doing wrong...

You know...
By now, you should've realized that I'm not going to say anything else.

Here's my logic:
I figured, hey, if they're stupid enough to keep scrolling down and looking at the same fucking rainbow over and over, at least they're doing that instead of copulating and adding their DNA to the gene pool.

You're welcome, Mr. Darwin.

Signing Out.