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°°°Well hello folks. Welcome to your first adventure with your hero. There hero. Everybodies hero.... The Foundation! Now it's tough being the best wrestler in the Z-Shock, so The Foundation is going to do something nice for a change. What? The Foundation doin something nice!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! What has the darned world come to!? The Foundation was on his way to WCW but now he has better plans. Bigger and better plans. Folks, believe it or but.... Drum roll please.... The Foundation will adopt a child! Folks history is made. The first professional wrestler to adopt a child. Damn The Foundation is a great rolemodel.
Anywho, another turning point in The Foundations career comes June 13th 2000. Hardcore Title Rumble. The Foundation walks in the mind of no competition. Kid Xtreme? A xtreme fello ay? Ohhhh The Foundation is scared. You'll just go over the top like the rest of the junkies in the match with The Foundation! Is The Foundation jumping to conclusions? Hell yeah he is? What right does he have to call himself EXTREME with his skinny ass? Put some meat on those bones and then get back to The Foundation with an ounce of competition. Damn what the fuck is wrong with society? "The Foundation" Brandon Kearse.... The man most likely to come out with a win for the Hardcore \ title. Nothing bad to say about him right? But he did lose to.... Nobody! Damn what the fuck is wrong with society..... What suprises will happen today with The Foundation? Sit back, relax or you can go somewhere and not watch....°°°
~$~We fade in from a blanket of darkness. There we see The Foundation. In some kind of a rush of some sorts.... He is startled by the sudden knock on the door. BANG BANG BANG. A knock on The Foundations front door catches his attention. He looks up wondering he could be bothering at this time. He walks over to the door in anticipation. He opens the door only to find his old friend. Holland....~$~
The Foundation~ "Yo Holland! Long time my man! Wheres Jabroni?"
Holland: "He got ran over by a truck."
The Foundation~ "Cool"
~$~Ashley Kearse comes walking down the step, awakening from her beauty sleep. Not knowing whats going on, she walks into the kitchen.~$~
Holland: "Aren't you gonna invite me in?"
The Foundation~ "Oh yeah. My bad kid...."
~$~Holland makes his way into the beautiful home of your hero, The Foundation. But as the unknown fat old guy trys to make his way in, The Foundation puts his hand of his belly.~$~
The Foundation~ "Whoa.... Who the hell are you. Whats that blabbery stuff on your belly. And why are you so ugly? And your ballz are saggy. I don't allow SagBallz into my humble home. Why you with Holland? Why are you here? Why does your breath stink? Why are your teeth yellow?....
SagBallz: "Stop with all the questions! Your scaring me!"
Holland: Don't be scared.... Yo Brandon this is Luther. A old friend on mine. He wants to become a wrestler and I was hoping you could train him....?"
The Foundation~ "Bwahahahahahahhahaha! Well Luther. First of all, your name sucks. So I am gonna call you Saggy. Second how old are you?"
Saggy: "72 Years Olds. 72 and a half."
The Foundation~ "Damn your actually proud of your age.... Interesting. What do you do for a living besides getting on my nerves with your stink ballz."
Saggy: "I am a male prostitute outside a old peoples home."
The Foundation~ "Riiiiiiight. That must of been where you and Holland met!"
Holland: "Actually no buddy! I met Lut.... I mean Saggy at a WCW House Show. He is a big fan of Ralphus."
The Foundation~ "Looks like it...."
~$~Ashley Kearse comes out from the kitchen with a bright smile. But her expression quickly changes suddenly.~$~
Ashley Kearse: "Whooooooo shit! It smells like Old Chicken Wings and Biscuits!"
The Foundation~ "Thats Mr. SagNuts over here.... Dude you really should wash your ballz!"
Holland: "Ok enough with the jokes on my buddy here. Where ya off to Brandon? You were packing right?"
The Foundation~ "Yeah.... I hate to conduct interviews so I am going to the suckiest interview conducters there is today...... Drum roll please. WCW! Wow like that was a suprise. Maybe they can get the interviewers off my back. Ya know? Because I've just joined a federation by the name of Z-Shock Wrestling. Now Holland you have to give it up to me. THIS IS THE BIG TIME! But still I have always had a bad thing for interviewers asking me the same fu*king question over and over again. Im sick of it. So I am going to WCW, where the mic skillz suck.... Theeeeennn. Holland your not gonna believe this. Ashley you listen up to. And Saggy.... Well stay where you are. I am gonna adopt a child!"
Holland: ".........."
Ashley Kearse: ".........."
Saggy: "Sweeeeeet! Another little kid for me to rape!..... Ops I mean, another little kid for me to play with. Uhhh no! I mean...."
The Foundation~ "Shut up you Junkie! Nobody cares what you rape and play with..... Like I was saying. I am going to adopt a kid..... I saaaaaaaiiddddd I am going to adopt a kid!.... Okay I get the picture. You think I am crazy. No way! I need responsabilty. The only responsability I have it making sure my wife gets the proper BANGING when she needs it! As a grown man in this society I need to stand tall and take responsabilty for me, my fans, me, my wife and me. It is time for me to do right instead of doing wrong all the damn time. I've started by signing a contract with Z-Shock Wrestling. But not I have other things in life.the time. I will shut down evil forces and save the world. Wait I am getting off subject. Me taking a adopted kid will show myself and you Ashley that I can take care of a human being. Well I do take care of human beings in the ring but thats another story. So as a person part of mankind. I will take a stand and do what I have to do!"
Holland: "Yeah nice fake speech. Whatever you want to do Brandon. It's your choice but don't come crying to me when he ask you for money."
Ashley Kearse: "Honey. I am happy that you have confidence in yourself about handeling a child but a child is a big responsability."
The Foundation~ "Weeeeeelllllll heeeeeellloooooooo! Wasn't you listening to me when I spoke about responsability! Geesh, don't you junkies ever listen to me?"
Holland: "No."
The Foundation~ "Well you know what mister smarty pants? You will listen to me now that your rolling with me. Know why?"
Holland: "Why?"
The Foundation~ "I dunno, I thought you knew.... Not! Because Im The Foundation and well, your not me. Damn It's great to be me. Well anyway were off to WCW Headquarters. Matter of fact, WCW can't handle this. Im sorry guys. I just can't wait to go adopt my child."
Ashley Kearse: "You sure you want to do this?"
The Foundation~ "What you don't trust me!?"
Ashley Kearse: "Ummmmm no. But If thats what you want to
do then Im with you."
The Foundation~ "Yiiiipeeeeeee!"
Click
~$~We fade into the nearest homeless home located near The Foundations mansions. The walls color are brown and the walls are cracked. A roach crawls through one of the crack routes. A creeking sound is heard as The Foundation and his click, Holland, Ashley Kearse and Saggy enter the Homeless Shelter. The Foundation walks up to one of the helpers/secretary thats works in the Homeless Shelter.~$~
The Foundation~ "Umm hey, I wanna adopt a child."
Worker: "And what does that have to do with me?"
The Foundation~ "Well miss thang! You work here so you do your job! I wanna adopt a child."
Worker: "Well like I said! Whats that have to do with me. This is not the place where you adopt children!"
The Foundation~ "Well excuse me honey chile! You don't have to have a attitude. You know what? Talk to the hand!"
~$~The Foundation puts his hand in the workers face in a girlful matter. Then he walks away laughing. They begin walking up the stores to the second floor slowly, hearing a creek every step they take. They step when Holland spots a waterbug.~$~
Holland: "Ahhhhhh mommy! A waterbug!!!"
~$~Holland runs up ahead as Sagger squashes the bug with his fat pot belley. They continue till they get to the second floor. Holland opens the door and they enter the second floor.~$~
The Foundation~ "Well Im too lazy to go looking for a place to go adopt children. Ashley don't comment on this but We are gonna go pull a Elian Gonzalez without anybody ever knowing. Were just gonna run in there take the kid and run. Most of the parents are crackheads so they won't even know what hit them. They will probaly think it's crack they sniffing when they see us. You guys ready?"
Holland: "Im scared."
The Foundation~ "Well thats your problem. Im going in."
~$~The Foundation runs at a random door, stops and knocks. Some drunk women opens the door. The Foundation pushes the lady to the ground and begins looking for a kid.~$~
Drunken Women: "Ahhh shit! I must have had another hit of some liquor because I am on the floor again......... Hey you! Come rape me! So I can press charges get money and buy some crack. Hahahahha. Thats a good plan. Come on! Rape me!"
The Foundation~ "Ummmmm no. You have a infected pu$$y."
Saggy: "Oh oh oh! I'll rape you! Wheres the viagra?"
The Foundation~ "No you fool! Come on!"
~$~The Foundation walks past the father sitting on a dusty chair watching a re-run of the Simpsons and into the backroom. 5 minutes later he comes out with a meduim short light skinned kid.~$~
Kid: "Papa! Papa!"
Father: "What do you want you damn bastard, can't you see I am watching the simpsons?"
Kid: "This man spoke to me and said he is taking me back to his mansion down the street! He said he is my new dad."
Father: "Good.... Wait did you say mansion!? Can I come?"
The Foundation~ "Ummmm no. All I need to just two fat asses to brighten my day. No you sit there and watch your television show. Lets go Junior. Say adios to your crack family."
~$~The kid waves bye to his former family as he slips out of there lifes, without the care of his former parents. A new life starts for this kid. They walk down the stairs re-entering the front lobby. They walk out of this discusting evoirment and out into the world. We fade out....~$~
~$~We reopen the cameras back inside The Foundations mansion. We heard a metal sound from the door and there enters The Foundation along with Holland, Saggy, A discusted Ashley Kearse and of course the adopted child. They all take a seat on the couch just to get to know the new kid.....~$~
The Foundation~ "Well, little one. Whats your name?"
Kid: "Billy Bob Joe.... Im hungry."
The Foundation~ "Well Billy Bob Joe that aint my problem."
Billy Bob Joe: "But I thought you were my new daddy?"
The Foundation~ "And your point is? You want some food then go get a job or something."
Ashley Kearse: "Brandon Allen Kearse!!! You adopted him now you take care of him. For now I'll go make you something."
The Foundation~ "Ssshhhh. Don't say my full name on T.V. Anyway Billy Bob Joe, I am a wrestler for the Z-Shock Wrestling. I bet thats cool right? Well I have just signed a multi million dollar contract with Z-Shock Wrestler and that means papa got doe! But I have always had it, by kicking ass and doing what I could do to please my fans all around the world. Well now that I am in Z-Shock, I'll bring Z-Shock to a place it's never and will never be without The Foundation. And thats what of the top federations on this side of the business. See tommorow night, I will be in a very important match for the Z-Shock Hardcore Title. But what I am thinking to myself everytime I think about that match is.... Do I really want to become Hardcore Champion. If I do, how could I defend it? The Foundation is not hardcore! Well that means once again, The Foundation will be against ALL odds. I'll be put in a match with a bunch of chair swinging, table crashing junkies! The Foundation has pride. I don't need to use tables and swing chairs to suceed. To tell you the truth. I have talent. And thats what you'll have Billy. See people like Kid Xtreme don't equal talent. Kid Xtreme, you say your gonna kick my ass Xtreme style? But do you actually think that'll happen with the talent I have? No buddy your wrong! Whether I or you like it or not. I will be new Z-Shock Hardcore Champion. Like It? Don't Like It? Fu*k It, You Will Deal With It!"
Billy Bob Joe: "Suck ballz!"
The Foundation~ "Yeah thats the spirit!"
~$~Ashley Kearse yells from the kitchen.~$~
Ashley Kearse: "Brandon! I heard that! Don't teach him that."
The Foundation~ "Ops sorry."
~$~The camera fades out after a long wierd day.~$~
°°°Well what a day folks! Holland returns with Saggy and The Foundation adopts a kid. Theres alot with don't know about Billy Bob Joe. Stay tune for another adventure with your rolemodel and everybody elses.... "The Foundation" Brandon Kearse.°°°
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