It’s
like everyone develops a shell around them.
We all begin as babies, naked and innocent and fearless. As time goes on, though, and we start
experiencing things that make us afraid, we start to build a shell around
ourselves. The shell protects us from
our fears, lets us feel safe and happy.
Someone with a very thick shell will often seem to be the calmest and
happiest person, because they are not afraid of anything, nothing makes them
sad or angry.
But
these shells also have a negative side.
While they protect us from our fears, they also separate us from the
world. Our shells make us numb to the
sensations of the world, make us desperate for some kind of stimulation. Our shells protect us, but they grow around
us, locking us in so that there is no room to grow. Eventually we will feel so squeezed inside our shells we feel
like we’re suffocating.
That’s
why there will always come times when something happens that our shell comes
off. Maybe it gets shattered from the
outside, maybe we grow too much and break through from the inside. Or maybe something clicks and we just decide
to peel off the layers, undo the locks and clasps and step out of it.
Then
suddenly you are small and naked. All
of those fears from which you have been protected are right in front of you,
touching you, inside of you. You feel
the fear and pain and sadness that you were holding away from you. It’s a hard time. You feel like you have fallen apart. You don’t know who you are.
You are sad and scared and confused.
But that’s
also the most beautiful time. You are
finally feeling things as they really are.
Experiencing the sensations around you that are so strong they’re almost
overwhelming. You have the chance to
grow without bounds. You are light and
free.
If
you have a conception of heaven, then it is likely a place where you are
without this shell. You are light and
free and able to grow, but there is nothing to fear. Everything is goodness, there is no need for a shell.
But
to get there you need to go through this world that materializes your
fears. You need to experiences all of
those emotions that you have been trying to avoid. You need to learn to take off that shell and feel things as they
really are. Feel your sadness and your
fear. Let them wash over you and then
realize that that’s exactly what happens.
It washes over you and then slides back away, off into the sea. You are still here. Everything that is will pass. Joy will pass, pain and sadness will also
pass. There is nothing to wish for and
nothing to fear.
Or
some kind of hippy crap like that…
