Okay, well…
My sources tell me that
there are, in fact, people visiting my webpage. I haven’t pinpointed exactly who the perpetrators are as of yet,
but when I do… Well, you know the rest.
However pleased I am, though, that
there may be other minds walking around carrying a little tiny bit of me inside
of them, perhaps even influencing them a teeny tiny bit, I can’t help but feel
a little underhanded. This is due to
the email I sent out about a week ago saying that people should check out my
webpage. I even promised a link to a
new song.
Well, needless to say, that new
song turned out to be a little more powerful than I thought it would be, and
was completely opposed to being recorded well, so that didn’t materialize. And I’ve generally been a punkass about
writing. So there hasn’t been anything
new in a while, except “the other day” which I put up thinking that it might, might
be just barely worth reading. To
be short about it, I feel I may have duped you, dear reader.
But, I suppose that the end result
of me being a punkass is that people will stop reading, so really, I guess my
real worry is that writing this won’t be worth anything. I’m just all alone – a tiny little page on
the vast internet. Crying into the
stream of passing electrons “Hey!!
Notice me!! NOTICE ME!!!!”
Ah, the BIG FEAR, right? Did Freud say anything about that? Jung probably would have. He’s one nutty muthafucka, you know. It’s so fundamental. It’s the fear that created us. Hell, maybe the fear that created everything. “Here I am, all knowing, all powerful, all
alone… oh NO!!”
Why crave love? Why make a website?
I hope people read this and are
glad that they did afterward. That’s
not so much to ask, right? Just a tiny
little bit of affirmation to help keep me going. Did anyone ever see that movie where Heaven is a hotel, and how
nice of a room you get and how well you are treated are determined by how many
people remember you back on Earth. And
it doesn’t matter how good or bad you were.
Just the fame. I think Jesus was
in it. Maybe Hitler too, though maybe
not… that would probably have offended lots of people.
It’s amazing how many choices you
make when you write. You have to always
ask yourself, is that enough? Will they
get that? You don’t want to spell
things out too much and ruin the mental image or get tedious, but you also have
this awful image of a person looking up from your writing and saying “What the
hell were you on? This doesn’t make any
sense at all!”
Well, did it?
prove it!
