Have you ever wondered if there truly existed in life that knight or princess you dreamt of as a child? Have you settled for comfort and stability with someone, yet your heart and soul yearned for more out of life? Have you ever given thought to what a 'soul mate' was? Who makes up a soul mate? How do you find one? Or have you ever wondered if you truly have one?
When you live life out in a comfortable, settled sort of way, but your heart and soul just are not at peace, something is missing....your soul mate.
A soul mate completes you.
A soul mate is that one person that you truly could not live without. You know it because when they are gone from your life, you are not the same person, you feel empty---incomplete. Your soul mate completes every part of you. I'm not saying that the person you are with now, or for whom you seek to be with wouldn't make you happy. But what I am talking about is totally completing every part of your heart, your mind, your body and your soul.
Sounds pretty extreme, doesn't it? Having a soul mate in your life is not a crush or an infatuation, but a true to heart, can't live without type of relationship.
The love of my life lived over 800 miles away from me. We happened upon each other by chance, but from the first meeting, life truly has not been the same for either of us.
I thought I had been in love many times throughout my life, heavens, I'm divorced! {But happily married again :) } Through time, patience, (something I am still learning) and alot of determination, I have found the true meaning of soul mates and how to avoid the traps of acceptance instead of completeness.
After our first meeting, I returned to the life I was living not the same person as I was before I had met with my now husband. My entire life changed. It was as if a light bulb went off inside me that only turned on because of him. I was also a very skeptical person, I could not understand how this soul mate thing worked. How can one person have such an intense relationship with another? I started thinking this was all too weird. All I know is, my life was lived in an empty shell, he has filled me up with life, hope, dreams, every thing I have ever needed.
Now, I have the utmost faith and confidence in soul mates, and will preach it to all that will listen, that patience and time will bring you to each other. But the old adage is true, it will happen when you least expect it, the more you seek it--the harder it will be to find.
Having a soul mate in your life is not a superficial relationship. It brings to light only to the two of you a mysterious depth in your relationship. It's like nothing you've ever known before. At first, it's a bit frightening, as it also was with me, it frightened me, not knowing how my whole self could possibly react to another the way I reacted with my husband. I've discoverd a depth of trust, loyalty, confidence, and faith that are at the deepest levels that one person can share with another.
"A soul mate is like the echo of oneself--working at the same task of completing the other".
One very important thing to remember though, there is no easy way to PLAN for a soul mate to appear in your life. There is alot of joy of having found yours, but there also comes alot of misunderstandings. There is a depthness to the relationship that some people will either accept, or will be afraid of. The love that you feel will be stronger then you've ever known before and with this love, comes alot of heartache. You will learn the true meaning of love and pain. Pain of the heart is the most unbearable experience anyone can live through. But, with the strength and courage that arises out of this type of relationship, if you hold on to what is true, nothing and no one will ever be able to tear the two of you apart. Please keep in mind, the depthness that I talk about in this site is NOT the kind that everyone 'claims' they have already. Until you have experienced it, you truly will not know it.
Welcome to the world of relationship knowledge!
Just kidding, as 'knowledge' comes from many sources, but the only true knowledge comes from inside your own heart and soul.
I am usually not one to seek out poems, but upon my own search for knowledge, I find that poetry is our most expressive way to communicate our true and tender feelings. It is all that we are and all that we dream to be. (In shorter words, the reason why they write Love songs).
My husband, while he was spending his life seeking me, had written the most in-tune stories and poems that in MY opinion, provide the only answers to what a soul mate is. He doesn't want his writings displayed on the web, but as soon as I can 'convince' him differently, I will share with you the things I find closest to the true meaning.
Here is the formal meaning of what a soul mate is: soul mateFunction: nounDate: 1822: a person temperamentally suited to another.
Absolutely true. Being temperamentally suited to another is THE most intense, incredible feeling you will ever experience. It's not the feelings you get out of infatuation, lust or assumed love. It's the all and everything your heart ever desired. This means, most all adults do find a mate to marry or spend the rest of their lives with. It's the best feeling in the world. But for a very good portion of these unions, one or both remain in their relationship for stability, comfort, or acceptance. The feelings of being 100% complete just doesn't come from their chosen partner.
*~*~*A soul mate type of love is so intense, so in tune with all that you need, ever wanted, and really is the answer to all you have ever dreamt.*~*~*
Let's take a break off this soul mate subject for just a moment, and come to know the love that is needed in a deep rooted relationship. The kind of love I speak of is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Yes, we've all heard it before, but when you say, "I love you unconditionally", do you really, in your heart of hearts mean it, let alone know the intensity to it?
Here are some words to really consider when thinking about loving your mate unconditionally.
This is a very well written piece I happened upon on a website I was reviewing. I think it can help out at least a few people.
A relationship is like a garden. If it is to thrive it must be watered regularly. Special care must be given, taking into account the seasons as well as any unpredictable weather. New seeds must be sown and weeds must be pulled. Similarly, to keep the magic of love alive we must understand its seasons and nurture love's special needs.
The Springtime of Love
Falling in love is like springtime. We feel as though we will be happy forever. We cannot imagine not loving our partner. It is a time of innocence. Love seems eternal. It is a magical time when everything seems perfect and works effortlessly. Our partner seems to be the perfect fit. We effortlessly dance together in harmony and rejoice in our good fortune.
The Summer of Love
Throughout the summer of our love we realize our partner is not as perfect as we thought, and we have to work on our relationship. Not only is our partner from another planet, but he or she is also a human who makes mistakes and is flawed in certain ways. Frustration and disappointment arise; weeds need to be uprooted and plants need extra watering under the hot sun. It is no longer easy to give love and get the love we need. We discover that we are not always happy, and we do not always feel loving. It is not our picture of love.
Many couples at this point become disillusioned. They do not want to work on a relationship. They unrealistically expect it to be spring all the time. They blame their partners and give up. They do not realize that love is not always easy; sometimes it requires hard work under a hot sun. In the summer season of love, we need to nurture our partner's needs as well as ask for and get the love we need. It doesn't happen automatically.
The Autumn of Love
As a result of tending the garden during the summer, we get to harvest the results of your hard work. Fall has come. It is a golden time -- rich and fulfilling. We experience a more mature love that accepts and understands our partner's imperfections as well as our own. It is a time of thanksgiving and sharing. Having worked hard during summer we can relax and enjoy the love we have created.
The Winter of Love
Then the weather changes again, and winter comes. During the cold, barren months of winter, all of nature pulls back within itself. It is a time of rest, reflection, and renewal. This is a time in relationships when we experience our own unresolved pain or our shadow self. It is when our lid comes off and our painful feelings emerge. It is a time of solitary growth when we need to look more to ourselves than to our partners for love and fulfillment. It is a time of healing. This is the time when men hibernate in their caves and women sink to the bottom of their wells.
After loving and healing ourselves through the dark winter of love, then spring inevitably returns. Once again we are blessed with the feelings of hope, love, and an abundance of possibilities. Based on the inner healing and soul searching of our wintery journey, we are then able to open our hearts and feel the springtime of love.
(I found out the hard way. And believe me, NOW I know the true meaning of loving unconditionally.)
Here is a another message I did find on the web (yes, I can speak for myself, but I found these little notes so beautifully written, I want to pass them on to you as well)....Unconditional Love.
I love you as you are, as you seek to find your own special way to relate to the world, or the way you feel that is right for you. It is important that you are the person you want to be and not someone that I or others think you should be.
I realize that I cannot know what is best for you although perhaps sometimes I think I do. I've not been where you have been , viewing life from the angle that you have. I do not know what you have chosen to learn, how you have chosen to learn it with or in what time period. I have not walked life looking through your eyes, so how can I know what you need?
I allow you to be in the world without a thought or word of judgement from me about the deeds you undertake. I see no error in the things you say and do, in this place where I am. I see that there are many ways to perceive and experience the different facets of our world. I allow, without reservation the choices you make in each moment.
I make no judgement of this, for if I were to deny your right to evolution then I would deny that right to myself and all others. To those who would choose a way I cannot walk, whilst I may not choose to add my power and my energy to this way, I will never deny you the gift of Love that God/Goddess/Spirit has bestowed within me for all creation, as I love you so I shall be loved, as I sow, so shall I reap.
I allow you the universal right of free will to walk your own path, creating steps or to sit a while if that is what is right for you. I will make no judgement of these steps, whether they are large or small, nor light or heavy or that they lead up or down, for this is just my viewpoint. I see you do nothing and judge it to be unworthy and yet it may be that you bring great healing as you stand blessed by the light of God/Goddess/Spirit.
I cannot always see the higher picture of divine order. For it is the inalienable right of all life to choose their own evolution and with great love I acknowledge your right to determine your future. In humility, I bow to the realization that the way I see is best for me but does not have to mean that it is also right for you. I know that you are led as I am, following the inner excitement to know your own path.
I know that many races, religions, customs, nationalities and beliefs within our world bring us great richness and allow us the benefit of teachings of such diversedness. I know we each learn in our own unique way in order to bring that love and wisdom back to the whole. I know that if there were only one way to do something, there would need to be only one person. I will not only love you if you behave in a way I think you should, or believe in those things I believe in, I understand you are truly my brother and sister though you may have been born in a different place and believe in another God than I.
The love I feel is for all of God's world. I know that every living thing is part of God and I feel a love deep with every person, and all trees, and flowers, every bird, river, ocean and for all the creatures in all the world. I live my life in loving service, being the best me I can, becoming wiser in the perfection of divine truth, becoming happier in the joy of unconditional love.
Author Unknown
I would add to this on a personal level that I will love without the condition that the love be returned to me or that the person/object of that love remain within my contact for no other reason than there is simply no other alternative but to love them.
To learn to love unconditionally you need to be prepared to allow the vessel of that love, (your heart), to be emptied and refilled many times. Each time your heart is filled and then emptied you will experience pain. This is simply an indication that you are growing, accept it with grace and gratitude, knowing that Love is never, ever wasted. Each love takes us one step closer to the love that shall last this lifetime and perhaps beyond.
You need to ask yourself alot of questions in regards to your own personal opinion of what unconditional love means to you. This is very, VERY important. You do not decide what you think others would want your answer to be, you do not decide what you think is the right answer. You need to ask your inner self, openly, honestly, and with all trueness to your personal needs and wants. This is your biggest selfless act you will ever do. Resentments form from one or the other when a partner feels restricted or held back by someone that truly was not in tune with them for life. Let's just review this for just a moment.
When you decided to take your relationship all the way, whether as marriage, or just long term, you decided at that point that this person was going to be your all and everything. Then time goes on, you've discovered the 'true' person you've come to know and love and have accepted all their little quirks, their little habits that secretly annoy you, but you're tolerant of them. You've discovered a normal person. But then time keeps traveling on, and most commonly, one or both of you gain some weight, you don't wear makeup or shave everyday because you are not dating anymore...you basically let yourself slip into a 'comfortable' role alittle more. Now comes along age. Whether it's a mid-life crisis or just a need to want to complete some things you didn't when you were younger, you start looking at the fun that is all around you. Your heart loves your mate, but they can't give you that spicy fun you're looking for. Affairs, or just being gone longer and longer from home with your friends...a basic need to just find yourself comes into play.
In a soul mate relationship, you accept these things, you can offer your assistance, but just the knowledge that you accept what the other is needing and don't look at it as an 'end all' to what you've created this will be your biggest step in knowing that the love of your mate goes beyond the materialism, or a 'crisis', any of the things that would normally destroy a relationship. YOU ACCEPT, NEVER HINDER, YOU SHARE, YOU GIVE, YOU'RE GIVEN IN RETURN...LIFE IS VERY CLEAR FOR THE BOTH OF YOU AND HAS SUCH A DEPTH, NO MAN CAN DESTROY IT. When you hinder these changes, you are resented by the other and hate, anger, and dislike are the three main components that lead to the destruction of your relationship.
Being a soulmate, life is only lived with the other--there should be no fears of anything or any kind as you have your life partner.
