One thing is for certain here, you can be abused by either gender. Once you are in an abusive relationship, it is TRULY very difficult to leave. I finally left my relationship one month before our seventh anniversary. When I did, I had to lie about the reason just because of the hold he had on me. In my heart as well as I know is in his, he knows the truth, but will never admit to it.
Mine was not so much a physical abuse, all though he did hit me twice and kicked me once. It was of such a state of mental abuse, he had me thinking I was having a nervous breakdown. He would do and say things in private that would scare the living day lights out of me, but the minute that someone was around, he turned into Mr. Wonderful. That just killed me. How would anyone believe me of my life tales with this man when he never shown a single sign of that side of himself to anyone.I laugh sometimes because his favorite saying was, "What goes around, comes around". How funny that is, as those very words are the strength that I have inside of myself that one day, he will get all that he gave to me.
Being abused, is a very difficult experience. No one really understands what is going on in your relationship because the person you claim to be abusing you, does not present themselves that way in public. When there are children involved it is harder then anyone can imagine. I personally wish all the evils on a person that would abuse a child. I was abused as a child and thank God did not ever revert that into rearing my child. I would take every beating ever given to a child if I could. We as adults need to be strong enough to get the he** out of that relationship, no matter what the abuser tells you--LEAVE just as fast as you can.
I know, you're probably saying that it's easier said then done. Believe me, I know. I didn't just decide one night to leave, I had to consider everything involved thoroughly when I left my first husband. He still has a hold over me and for the next five years, I still have to have him somehow involved in my life due to our son. When my son reaches 18, I am finally free of him. Here's the only way that he let me leave him. He got sole custody on paper of my son. No, he didn't take my son away from me. I had to lie in court saying that I mentally abused him. He knows the truth and I remind him of it every time he threatens me. I raised my son without any help from him. He took the tax deduction. He is someone with enough money to throw threats out to me, but that's ok. I know I raised my son right, and I know that one day, his dad will fall prey to his own words of 'what goes around, comes around.' If I didn't leave when I did, he threatened to put me in a mental hospital and take my son far away.
I do know the threats of an abusive person. We were going to the mall one day, and I said something that had upset him, I can't even recall what it was. Well, he hit me with his fist in my arm and he hit a nerve that made me pass out. I was apparently in a dream state until I came to, and during my black out, I was jerking my arm straight out in front of me. Now, how do you control your body if you are unconscience? When I came to, he said he was going to take me to the ward right then and there. Of course I started screaming and crying because I didn't have any idea what in the world I had done to deserve this. His words just got more and more threatening. Thank God, he didn't follow through with his words, but it was this act that made me say I had to get out NOW.
Consider leaving at all costs. When someone claims they are being abused, the best clue to see if they are telling the truth is look that abused and abuser straight in the eye...the abuser will be smug or smart about it and the abused will have a glaze over their eyes. Take the time to try to believe what an abused person is telling you regardless of your personal opinions of the abuser. This person is coming to you for help!
