Taylor, Isaac, and I sat together on my front steps, not sure where exactly we fit in. In the sadness and the sense of loss that filled the night, we talked about nothing that really mattered anyway. Taylor was telling me about some movie or something, but I really wasn’t listening. I couldn’t find Zac. I needed my final goodbye, and I was worried that I wouldn’t have that once-in-a-lifetime chance.
“Abby, have you seen Zac?” Diana stood above us, wiping her eyes, holding baby Zoe. Avery was glued to her leg, and Jessica hid behind her, shyly. Walker’s arm was around his wife, trying to comfort her without words. I felt so numb. I only shook my head, unable to speak. Isaac and Taylor both rose, lined up and, one by one, hugged me. They said their goodbyes with such a sincerity that they had never expressed to me before. It then occurred to me that they loved me just as much as Zac did. They left me quickly, abandoning me in weeping Diana’s arms. The emotion that washed over me then completely blew me away. This was my family. My parents had never really been a vital part of my life. They weren’t there for me. And, now, I was faced with a family that I loved, that I adored, that I couldn’t leave. And they wanted me back, just as badly as I wanted them. I hadn’t felt that way about any family in years. I couldn’t let them go like this.
Zac emerged from my house, and Reenie flew into his arms. He looked extremely pale. His face was colorless, and he was shaking, maybe even harder than I was. Despite his obvious pain, he smiled at my little sister and scooped her off her feet. She giggled happily and kissed his cheek, completely blissful. He carried her over to my parents. Mom hugged him, while Dad only shook his hand. Then, without warning, he turned to me. His smile faded, and he became stolid. I couldn’t move. My knees were trembling like crazy, and I had to lock them to keep myself from collapsing. Zac moved closer timidly, slowly, and eventually snaked his arms around me. I looked over his shoulder at the bus, and tried not to die. I don’t know how I managed not to cry. I bit my lip, pressing myself into him. I wanted to make sure that I would be left with the warmth of his body when he was gone.
“Abby, you’ll be okay, right? For me. I don’t want anything to happen to you. Just promise me that, okay?” He whispered softly into my ear. His voice sounded more like the wind than like a boy. I smiled at the thought. “I can’t promise you anything, Zac. I’m sorry, but I can’t. I won’t lie to you, and I don’t want to risk breaking a promise.” Hanson’s driver honked the bus horn, Zac’s cue to hurry up.
“Abby. Please, promise. I can’t…I can’t…” He was choking on words. “Good luck, kiddo. I have to go now, but I won’t forget you. Don’t forget me, okay?” And, with that, he slipped something into my hand. I closed my sweaty palms tightly around it, vowing never to drop it. “That’s such a stupid thing to ask. I can’t forget you. I’ll always be with you. And I’ll miss you, pray for you…” He backed away slowly, swaying. “Goodbye, Abby.” I nodded slowly, looking deep into his eyes. “Goodbye, Zac.” He turned and ran into the bus, closing the doors behind him. The bus drove away, into the direction of our beach. Mom, Dad, and Reenie began to head inside. “Goodbye forever,” I whispered, letting the wind carry my words away. I imagined them being written into the sky, so that Zac could see them. That was only the second to last time I would ever say goodbye.
Chapter 14-Footprints
