Why Jerry Only Is Only Disgracing the Name of the Misfits
once upon a time, there was a band from lodi, new jersey. a band that although they were considered punk, basically invented the term death rock. a band known for their dark overtones, elvis like vocals, lyrics that were more tributes to horror movies than political commentaries, devilock hairstyles and heavy makeup. that band, glenn danzig's the misfits. named after the last marilyn monroe movie, their complete history is better left to say, Misfits Central than to this website. but, despite a lot of in fighting and backstage insect politics, they made quite a few of the most catchy, fun, and, obviously, imitated songs in punk history before finally breaking up in 1983.
but, sleeping dogs were not to be left to lie, so, back in the mid nineties, former misfits bass player, jerry only, despite having never written any of the misfits material, and despite having actually been the band's second bassist (the first actually being the very little known diane diplaza, who was in the band from february to march of 1977, replaced when glenn and jerry were introduced by original drummer, manny) took founder and song writer glenn danzig to court, somehow winning the right to call his new band, the misfits, and putting out two albums, american psycho and famous monsters that could only be described as ten pounds of monkey crap in a five pound bag, he proceeded to strip the band of any darkness and power it had ever possessed.
the misfits became cartoon-like characters on wcw wrestling, the lyrical content, still about bad b-movies, lost all of its dark edge, and became safe, kiddie music. the band found themselves performing halloween shows with the now-cartoonish himself alice cooper at "madison scare garden." the band found themselves with a drummer who actually called himself dr. c.h.u.d. (which actually stood for cannibalistic humanoid underground drummer! HOW FUCKING LAME IS THAT?!?) in short, jerry took the legacy of the misfits and fucked it up the ass. hard. with zero lubrication.
while the band now holds on tight to its last shreds of life, jerry now demolishing vocal duties, his brother doyle having jumped from the sinking ship, markie ramone stuck on this punk all-star laughing stock, one wonders why jerry didn't just leave it all alone? why he didn't just leave the band dead? after all, he had said that his band after the misfits, kryst the conqueror was an attempt to wipe out the "evil" he had helped create during the misfits.
oh yes, did i forget to mention? jerry became a born again christian after the misfits broke up. calling himself mocavius the great (huh?) he dubbed the name "jerry only" dead and created a band that could only be described as christian metal. the man who once said of glenn danzig's success, "singing praises for satan is just about the biggest failure i imagine," decided to create a band to counter the evil glenn had made through samhain (which was like the misfits but only a thousand times more evil) and danzig, his current band. after all, according to jerry, ooopssss...i mean mocavius, "strength comes from the will to stand against fear and evil" and "it was my obligation to slay the evil caused after we left the band," so he wrote lyrics like, "wherever i roam" (sounds like a familiar song title, doesn't it, kiddies) which said,
summoned by heaven, a lost world to save... for i am god's vengeance, swift sword through the night... i did a million wrongs in the life i lived before/ i ride to even up forever more
awwww...so, jerry decided to form kryst to make up for the sins he committed by being part of the misfits. okay, i can accept that, but why reform the band then? btw, any of you kiddies who might want to check out what other horrible goings on happened during the kryst the conqueror days can check out this fan site i found, called kryst krusade, where i got a lot of my resources from. for a real laugh check out the bios section and the mo and doyle pix from the kryst days.
anyway, back to my question, why reform the band? because kryst the conqueror was a crashing failure and interest in the misfits had reached a high unlike anything they ever experienced when the band was together. metallica had covered "last caress" and "green hell" on garage days and it had given the band a whole new generation of fans. glenn danzig suddenly became known by people and the misfits were looked at fondly as a great band of the past. yet kryst was still a huge failure.
let's face it, kiddies, outside of the godawful creed, who must've sold their souls to satan to get as big as they are, christian rock doesn't sell. jerry was hoping to turn all the new misfits fans into christian zombies by bringing them over to kryst. didn't work. jerry was still broke, so it occurred to him. why not sue for control over the name?
so, jerry went to court and somehow convinced a judge to let him drag the once great name of the misfits through the mud. all one need to do is listen to the music to see that it is nowhere near the level it was during the glenn days. with revolving vocalists (none of which matching glenn's talent), clip on devilocks, ridiculous lineup changes and, FOR CRISSAKES, WRESTLING!!! not playing songs for wrestlers, which is okay, not playing a song during, say, raw or whatever...NO! ACTUALLY GETTING IN THE RING AND WRESTLING...AS REGULAR FULL TIME WRESTLERS FOR A GOOD TWO OR THREE MONTHS! the action figures, of course. all that's missing are misfits comic books and misfits video games (come on, jerry, if you're going to act like gene simmons when it comes to merchandising, go ALL THE WAY!).
meanwhile, danzig continues to expand his music above and beyond what he did up until 1983, doing albums as diverse as the blues-inspired lucifuge and the industrial-like blackacidevil. maybe, if jerry would just let it finally go and move on, i could, at least, pretend to respect the man. fact is that jerry never wrote anything in the misfits. the dead kennedys are reuniting without original singer, jello biafra, and while that feels just as weird, at least, in the dead kennedys, the other members contributed to the songs. here, it was all glenn. jerry onces said that he was ashamed of what he had helped create. but once the money started drying up, all that shame disappeared and he just starting sucking the money right out of the pockets of misfits fans. shame, really. they were a great band. now, thanks to jerry, they're a joke.
jerry claims that he reformed the misfits because he and doyle, were the "good side of the misfits which was the magic of the band." funny, i always thought it was the song writing that was the magic of a band. silly me.
