Butt, by Andy Weaver
A long time ago in the fall of 1998. Dicrapio and Fartkwist decided that they were going to start a punk band, cuz they were punk rockers and thats what punks do. So dicrapio strapped on his drumset and fartkwist sat down on dicrapio's brother's bass guitar...and they jammed. Matt noeth then joined the terrible twosome on guitar. they then found justin bellville to sing for them, they played a few originals, and some covers...linoleum being on of the covers that mr bellville butchered which got his ass kicked out of this wonderful project entitled Caffeine Bob. One bright sunny morning andy webner came to a practice, he digged the wild punk rock stylings of this supergroup and dicrapio thought it would be best if andy joined the ranks as a guitarist. he did. and they ruled...after many name changes, [including,the super cool radical band, and Papas Fritas.] they decided on D.R.O.S.S. [dr. ruth and tha old skool souljahs]. The boys rocked out for a while and recorded a really bad demo that seems to have disseapeared off the face of the earth. Then one summer afternoon in 1999, they decided that they were going to take a radical turn, for the better. the boys decided to change their bands style to...SKA.[gasp!] they changed the name to CHINESE FINGER CUFFS...after a delightful Kevin Smith movie entitled Chasing Amy. The lads also thought that it would be best if some instruments got changed up. hence...andy on drums, matt on trumpet, dicrapio on guitar, and fartkwist still on bass and vocals. we rocked out a few times, before pig came into the picture on trumpet. we got down a bunch of songs, and this delightful little dwarf named mike crapanese jammed with us on the saxophone...he rocked, but he decided that he didnt want to be in the band...cuz he's a dork. [we later wrote a song about mike, you can listen to it on our cd...buy it here! we then practiced a whole bunch, and played a battle of the bands in the winter of 1999 [we placed 3rd and got free pizza]. we then decided to pool all our money and go to the studio to lay down some phat beats. we did that...and it came out pretty decent. we named it chumpzilla and sold about 10 or 20 copies. [if you want to be #11 or #21 you can buy it here! we played a little bit more....then andy got grounded cuz he is a dumbass...so we didnt play for awhile. in this brief time out...andy decided that he would quit the band and start a different band. he did. the band was fast, hard punk rock a la i farm...with dicrapio and fartkwist...called the save dan program. we played a show at mother earth's cafe....it was our first and last. I, andy webner am now back in CFC and hoping that we can rock out forever, and always.