When we were going to take a test on American citizenship.
ME: (written in an essay) Another thing I hate about this class, is the fact that I continually find myself surrounded by those with the intellect of a stapler.
SAMANTHA: Melissa! Melissa! (she runs up to me.) I just wanted to come over and say hello. (big smile)
When Joey gave Jerry a little shove in math and I looked over at him.
When Jerry was glaring at Joey angrily. NOTE: Jerry's nickname around the school is "pimple."
When I was making scratching noises on the chalkboard.
About watching channel one when everyone knows we never get to watch it.
ME: Why are ya'll so mean to each other?
JERRY: One small step for man...one small step for man...
Jerry making fun of Lupe.
When the pencil sharpener wasn't working when Lupe was trying to use it.
STEPHANIE: Shut up, Michael!
MICHAEL: Shut down, Stephanie!
Joey just learned Spanish so he's all happy and translates every thing.
JERRY: Sorry. We were trying to be smart.
JOEY: I'm gonna go buy some Mexican suppositories and shove them up your ass!
SUBSITUTE: If you don't stop talking, I'm going to take away your paper and you'll get a zero.
JOEY: Say "Mexican Renee."
On me hitting James all the time.
JOEY: You're stupid! Oh wait, I forgot, you're Lupe. Your name is in the thesaurus next to stupid. Gawd, Anthony, don't be so Lupe!
JOEY: Mexico and America unite! It'll be the Longhorns plus half the Mexian mafia.
On when the guy on Millionare missed a reptile/amphibian question.
When Naxi, me, and Jess didn't make it for this modeling thing, and the judge was British.
After reading the Sneeches by Dr. Seuss.
TEACHER: So what's the moral?
SUB: *lecturing* I've been in this school very long, and I don't put up with misbehaving. I'm very old.
I know it says a lot of stuff about Mexican things, but no one can get mad at us! We're not insulting Mexico. I mean, we live 10 minutes away from there. We ARE Mexican. There aren't any racial slurs or anything like that. And I know Joey talks alot. He's got issues.
TEACHER: If you don't pass this test you can't be an American.
JOHNATHAN: (After taking test and failing) Oh my gawd, sir, am I going to be deported??
ME: (After passing it) Gosh darnet. I always wanted to be Canadian.
ME: It's so heartbreaking for me when you're not around.
SAM: (puts hands on her cheeks) Oh, you make me giggle like a school girl! Teehee!
JOEY: What, I was giving him a little massage!
ME: Yeah, the kind where you dig your claws into his skin.
JOEY: Don't give me your Memorial look. Besides, pimples don't have eyes.
JERRY: I was just noticing how much you looked like the elephant man.
JESSICA: Oh, wow, Jerry, gawd, what a great comeback.
JOEY: Don't do that! (covering ears)
ME: Oh, poor baby gonna cry? (scratches more)
JOEY: (finds the talent unusual) Hey, Michael, watch.
ME: (scratches again)
ULYSSES: Agk!! (covers ears, runs to corner. turns around) Do it again!
ME: But if I do it again, promise you won't cry?
JERRY: Yeah (to subsitute) we can watch it! We'll watch it just like I did yesterday.
JOEY: But that's cuz you suck.
JOEY: Cuz we're not nice. (long pause) I can break a pencil with my head.
ME: And one giant leap on Jerry's head with a pair of soccer cleats.
JERRY: You see Mexican novellas!!
JOEY: (points to Lupe) You see Mexican novellas. (then to Jerry) You see pimple novellas.
JOEY: They're different from Mexican sharpeners.
JOEY: But I did apologize! ... and in Spanish too!
ANTHONY: I wouldn't get a zero. I have one right!
RENEE: No.
JOEY: Yes!
RENEE: No!!
JOEY: DO IT!
RENEE: No!!
JOEY: I'll give you a brownie.
RENEE: Mexican Renee.
ME: If you're afraid of my hitting you, then obviously it hurts.
JAMES: To be hit by a guy?>
ME: (hitting him with my fist)
JAMES: Doesn't hurt.
ME: (i start stabbing him with a pencil eraser)
JAMES: (laughing) Still doens't hurt.
ME: Here, I'll use the other end!
JOEY: But it thought it was a reptile too!
TEACHER: On Joey's TV it was.
Me: Well I don't bloody care!
JOEY: Don't trust people with the last name McBean.
ME: *smiles* My gramma's older.
CLASS: Oooooh...