Speaking of depression I am.

I know that she'll probably read this, so I better not say everything that's on my mind. Nax, when you read it, no offence.

I think Naxi is spending too much time with Jessica. I'm not sure if Jess and I are still best friends. Even if were weren't I'm always going to be incredibly jealous. I hate it when their together without me and I don't know why. Every day this week it's been Jess going to Naxi's after school or vise versa, and I have yet to be a part of it. I try not to pull guilt trips. Those are stupid. I just want to know Jess more than anyone else.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want a best friend who's like a sister to me. You know in books and movies where there are two best friends, where people can't see them apart and they are always known by their names together? I just want someone like that. I'm willing to be that for someone else, but there's no one else like me. Jess and I were like that once, but now, all of a sudden, something came from her and slapped me in the face, unintentionaly but subconciously meaningful. Now it seems like I don't even know her. I wish that weren't the case.

I auditioned for my schools UIL One-Act-Play today. I went home early with a migrane and came back at at around 3:45 in a rush because I had to be at the dentist soon. I told Mr. Cantu that I wasn't going to miss the audition and that I had to leave in about ten mins because my mom was waiting for me. He was auditioning some girls for the part of the Auchwitz children but he threw them offstage and had me try Raja, whos the star. I was Irena first. She's a teacher. Then I did Raja for two scenes and he said I could go and that I'd find out Friday. There was only one guy there and that was my seventh grade friend Johnathan. He's really short and he was trying out for Honza, Raja's boyfriend. Their aren't any kissy huggy scenes for them, I don't think. Just some sad ones because he's in a concentration camp talking to her through a chain fence. It wasn't until then that I remembered that Omar wanted to try out for the play but he didn't know when the auditions were, so he wasn't there. I've been trying to call him all night to remind him to try out for Honza tomorrow. I really want him to, and if he does, I hope we both make it, and that there's a kissing scene, hehe. I'm always stuck with kissing scenes for some reason, why waste this one? ;)

My dad just got home. I hope he stays in a good mood for a long time. Put on a happy face, huh.

And by the way, Cosme can shove it as far as it goes. He sucks ass. He ruined my friendship with Jess. It's his fault. I know I sound like a ten-year-old, but it's true. He needs to learn to keep his big mouth shut. I haven't talked to him in a long time, and I'm not planning on it.