Hey Hey...

It's Your Neighborhood Friendly Justin Sane!



~~~Partys, they always seem make everyone so happy. They always seem to make a bad day turn into a good day. They lift people's spirits and force them to forget about their troubles. Everyone has fun at parties, especially when its in honor of someone....

....Last time we saw Justin he was at his good friend Pavel Bure's house relaxing. Justin sat back, drank a soda and talked about hockey, like normal. It was just another day in the park. Little did Justin know that later that night he was going to kick Lost Soul's demented ass all over the ring....

....The camera fades in to show a restuarant. The windows are draped in red satin drapes. The door is pure pine and the tables are lined up in a perfect fashion. The restuarnt, however, is empty. The camera pans around to show no one, absolutely no one in the restuarant. The cameraman begins to walk to the back. He walks through a doorway with heavy marroon drapes covering it. Sitting in front of him are Justin Sane, Joey, and Lil Person. They are sitting behind a table in a booth sipping champagne.~~~

Justin- Now this is fun? Isn't it?

Joey- Oh hell yeah. This is one of the best times that I have ever had in years.

Justin- Well, this is a party. We're supposed to have fun.

Joey- What exactly are we celebrating though?

Justin- You idiot! How do you forget an event this memorable?!

Lil Person- It's Joey, what else can you say?

Justin- Ahh yes. Sorry, I forgot, my simple minded friend.

Joey- Yeah, yeah. Whatever. But could someone please tell me what we are celebrating?

Justin- Ugh, fine. Today, in the one of the greatest moments in proffessional wrestling, The Lost Soul retired. I believe we have some footage. Role that.

~~~The camera fades to black....

....The camera fades back in to show a press conference. The background is black with the words FWF on it diagonally in red. The camera pans to show Justin Goldman?! No, wait. It's a man impersonating Justin, it's JOEY! HA HA HA! The fat overwieght Italian is imperonating the FWF chairman. Then we On his right there is an empty seat and next to that is Lil Person dressed as The Prez. HE'S SITTING ON PHONEBOOKS! HA HA HA! All of a sudden The Franchise dressed as The Lost Soul turns the corner around the background. He walks around and sits down on the table. He has a fake long brown hair wig on with the hair dangling in his face an imitation leather jacket on and a Misfits t-shirt. He gathers his confidence and speaks.~~~

The Lost Soul(Sane)- Hello, wrestling fans and members of the ditinguished press. I am honored to have Justin Goldman and The President of FWF at my side for this announcement.

~~~Some flashes go off as The Lost Soul begins to cry. He regains his composure and speaks again.~~~

The Lost Soul(Sane)- I have come here to announce my retirement from the sport of wrestling. Yes, I know. It is way overdue and I apologize for dragging my miserable career as long as I did. The FWF was a mistake. I tried to be somebody, but I was really nothing. The Hardcore Title means everything to me and I know that Justin Sane would have kicked my ass at Retribution so I have to retire today to spare myself the embarrassment.

~~~Justin Goldman stands up to comfort Soul. The President hops off his phonebooks and runs over to behind Goldman. He gets on his knees and begins to literally kiss his ass! HA HA HA! The President stops as Justin returns to his seat. Soul continues.~~~

The Lost Soul(Sane)- I realize that there was nothing that I could do to avoid this. It really is my fault. I was foolish to think that I could be a man as great as Justin Sane. I mean, he is MY Hero, MY Icon, and MY Rolemodel. I have always tried to be like him, but I could never measure up to something as great as Justin Sane. The man is a god. He is something that everyone wishes they could achieve. People like Dave Dexter and Skarrphace only mention his name in hopes of drawing his attention, but The Franchise is too good for them.

~~~Justin's err...The Lost Soul's wig falls off and he quickly rushes to fix it. Justin Goldman gets up to help but he trips and falls down the stairs. The President tries to go an carry him up but he is too small. Justin Goldman eventually gets up and walks to his chair The President runs back to his chair and climbs on top of the books as Soul finishes.~~~

The Lost Soul(Sane)- I wish that I could have stayed longer so the ratings could skyrocket as Justin Sane kicked my ass all over the ring at Retribution, but I feel that it would make myself look too good. I am too low on the food chain. I don't even deserve a beating from a wrestling legend like Justin Sane. He is a true master at what he does. I leave you with these words... I HAVE BEEN DESTROYED!

~~~Lost Soul gets up and runs off the stage crying as the media laughs at him. Justin Goldman walks away as The President attaches himself to Goldman's ass as the camera fades....

....The camera fadesback in to show Justin Sane, Joey, and Lil Persons till sipping on champagne laughing like crazy. Justin wipes the tears from his face.~~~

Justin- Oh man, what a touching moment.

Joey- That was the best thing that I have ever seen in a long time.

Justin- I second that. Who knew Soul felt so strongly about me. It really touched me.

Joey- Yeah, he really complemented you there.

~~~Justin, Joey, and Lil Person open another bottle of champagne and continue to laugh it up.~~~

Justin- Guess what, I saw something funnier than Lost Soul's career.

Joey- I didn't know there was such a thing.

Justin- Oh yes. Skarrphace. His interview had me laughing for a good thirty minutes. Oh no Phace. I'm on the list! Should I be worried? Let me know when you actually have the power to take me down. Then maybe I will bother taking time aside to talk to you.

Joey- What a loser. He's only talking to you because he wants attention.

Justin- Yeah, they all want attention from me because as Soul said...THE HERO...THE ICON...THE FRANCHISE...JUSTIN SANE...YOU'RE F'N ROLEMODEL!

~~~They all have a good laugh as they sit champagne. The camera fades.~~~


«««FADE TO BLACK!!«««



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