Hey Hey...

It's Your Neighborhood Friendly Justin Sane!



~~~Ever know someone who thinks they are top of the line? Who thinks they are the best there ever is, was, and will be? No, not him. But someone else. You know, they create a false sense of well being good at somethng and then when it all comes crashing down on they blame some accident or some freak thing within a family that shouldn't have existed in the first place. And that person, no matter who it is, always seems to get the good things in life. And why? Because they work at it, long and hard and pour every ounce of sweat they have into it? No. Because they get lucky and jump people and beat people when they are injured. And then they talk anonymous like this. And they don;t seem to realize that no one likes them an everyone would rather see them dead than champion. They don't realize that they should be shot in the middle of a town square. And then to protect themselves they pick on the innocent and they pick on those that aren't 100% just to feel good about themselves. And then when you kick their fucking ass, they don't seem to want ot go away. It sounds a lot like someone we all know. Someone we would all rather see dead. Someone named, Lost Soul....

....And then you have people like Ringo Roberts. Where is this guy anyways? Is he out for lunch? He has been for the past month or so. In fact, ever since Justin handed him his ass at Cyberslam, Ringo hasn't been the same. He has been distant and out of touch. But you know, he too is annoying. What the hell is he doing interfering in matters he doesn't belong in? What the hell is he doing getting into things tht don't concern him? This is between two people, Lost Soul and Justin Sane. Who the fuck does Ringo think he is? He just buts into business that doesn't concern him and then thinks he is gonna get away with it? No fucking way. He thinks he can just show up and butt into things that he doesn't belong in. I repeat, where the hell has this guy gone anyways? As a matter of fact, the last time we saw this guy was on May 8, 2000. That was over a week ago. That's just sad. Look at the direction FWF is taking....

....Wouldn't you be disgraced if you were forced to fight these two pieces of trash like Lost Soul and Ringo Roberts. I know I would. I mean, if I were a man of Justin's stature, fighting insignificant pieces of trash like Lost Soul, who stole the belt, and Ringo Roberts who hasn't even held a belt, for the Hardcore Title? Justin must be, this is an insult to Justin's skill and overall greatness. Afterall, he is Your F'N Rolemodel....

....Last time we saw Justin he was on his way to the FWF Arena to find out his surpise. Unfortunately, Joey forgot to bring the surprise, like the idiot he is. He forgot to call him and tell him to be there. Joey, the moron. Well, at least we know the surprise was a person now. But what does that help? Is Justin still going to bring the surprise on Friday? Is Joey still going to taunt Justin like a fool? Probably, but then again...No, wait. Joey will. He's an idiot....

....The camera fades in to show a huge house in somewhat of a tropical climate. There are palm trees lining the driveway and the walkway. The beautiful grass lawn in front of the house is filled with lawn care junk, like lawnmowers, weed clippers, and hedge trimmers. The camera pans right and shows a black limo pulling up to the house. It rounds into the oval shaped driveway. The car pulls to a stop in the pebble driving way and out steps Justin, Lil Person, and Joey. Justin is wearing a pair of black khackis and a red nautica polo shirt. Justin walks to the door and rings the bell. No one answers. He knocks and someone comes to the door. It's Pavel Bure, Justin's old friend. He invites Justin in. Joey and Lil Person follow. They walk to the living room and they all sit down. Justin on the couch with Joey, Lil Person in the chair to their right and Pavel in the recliner across from them.~~~

Justin- This is a nice house you got here Pavel.

Pavel- I try man. I try.

Justin- You sure do. How much you getting paid?

Pavel- I stopped counting.

Joey- Real funny. Some of us have to struggle.

Justin- Some, no you Joey.

Pavel- Yea, how much do your "Connections" pay you?

Joey- Hey, hey, let's not get into that. I get what I get because I earn it.

Justin- Ahh, ok. I wasn't aware that unmercilously killing people was considered earning.

Joey- Shutup Justin.

Pavel- Hell, at least what I do is an honest living.

Joey- Speaking of what you do, what happened in the first round Pavel? Huh? If you are so great, how did you get your ass kicked by the Devils?

Pavel- What did you just say?

Justin- Calm down Pavel. We both know you are the best in the biz. And besides we know that Joey can't say anything about me.

Joey- What?! Nothing about you? You got your scronny ass kicked by Lost Soul...TWICE! And now you are going to lose to him again. What do you say to that?!

Justin- I say...SHUTUP GUINEA! Now as far as Soul goes, i got a few things to say to him. Soul, as you saw on Sunday, this is far from over. In fact this is just starting to get good. This is starting to embark down a path that only a few have traveled down with me before. And since you like to talk about the past so much, why don't I? There was a man named Nighthawk, who thought he could take me. He thought that he ruled as you do now. He was dominant, as you are. He had defeated me before, as you have. And then he won the Lightweight Title, the World Title, the Tag Titles, and the NA Title. Soul, on one night, on one PPV, I took every single title by MYSELF! And I defended them BY MYSLEF! Nighthawk, left and was never seen again after that. Then there was a man by the name of Kozmo. He called himself The Ringmaster. He had utterly destroyed me in previous meetings, including putting me THROUGH THE TITANTRON! But then, in a handicap match, me versus his Social Misfits, at the PPV once again, I controlled him the entire match. And even when one who I thought was friend backstabbed me, I still won and Kozmo and the Social Misfits dissapeared like Nighthawk. And I could go on and on, but I wouldn't want to intimidate you Soul. So you see Soul, that I have done this before and I am prepared to do it again. I am prepared to take my body to the limit. And tomorrow Soul, tomorrow is the day of payback.

Soul, we know each other well. We know each other's moves, abilities and each other's psyche's. I know everything about you Soul. I know they way you think, the way you move. I know your next move before you make it. There is just one thing Soul. There is one thing that I don't know about you. It's actually a question that I have repeated to you over and over and over again. And for some reason you don't seem to want to answer it. Is it because you are scared of the answer Soul? Is it because you can't seem to understand how you landed in it in the first place? Is it because you simply cannot comprehend HOW THE GOD DAMN HELL YOU ENDED UP WITH MY HARDCORE TITLE!? How Soul? How the hell did it happen? It's still a mystery to me. I mean, I know what you did. You beat me for the title cheaply, but you still beat me. But how the hell do live with yourself knowing that it belongs to another person. How do you sleep at night when you know flat out that you are holding another man's property? Please Soul, enlighten me.

Soul, you damn right you can't force me to do anything. You can't force me to call you, you can't force me to say hello. You can't even force me to look at you. And there is no way you can force me to think like you because no one and I mean NO ONE likes you. Everyone would rather look at a bunch of gorillas in the middle of mating season than you in a match. Even in the back, no one likes you. Ever wonder why you are alone? Well, except for the Hoe that won't seem to go away. We all know Soul that when it comes down to rock bottom, you cannot compare to great atheletes like Dave Dexter, Filipe, and me, The Franchise. But it's ok. There is no need to take it out on the fans by making them see your ugly ass all the time in the ring. That's torture Soul. That is the most excrutiating enough for the peopel at home, but think about the people in the fron row. Think about the annoucners, think about the crew. Hell, think about me Soul! How the hell do you think I feel looking at you every damn week? It disgusts. I usually have to take antacids before I come out to settle down my stomach. And seeing you with that Hardcore Title is even more of a monstrosity. So, tonight I will do the world a favor. I am going to take that title from you and then I am going to put you out of wrestling for good.

Soul, I'll hit you in the damn head any god damn time I want to. Fact is Soul, you deserved it. You needed to be socked and you needed to be woken up, because fact is, you are the on who has gone insane. You should change your name to Lost Mind because Soul, they always say that don't fix what's not broken, and as far as I can see there is nothing wrong with your life. So why in the world would you go and challenge me Soul? Why would you bring your sick demented self into the ring with me again? You really are one sick puppy Soul. This time I won't be so nice to you an hit you in the back, this time I'll smack you right through the table so your face can see me coming. Hell, maybe I'll even turn you over you you can see your body snap as you go through the table with body forcing it down. Soul, you want to know wher I am coming from? Are you having trouble understanding my message? Can you not comprehend the mission that I am on? Well, here's a news flash dumbass, I HATE YOU! I WANT TO KILL YOU! I WANT TO WATCH YOUR NECK SNAP WITH MY OWN HANDS! And when I do Soul, then you will understand what I am talking about Soul. When you feel the pain that I have felt, then you will realize that I am your SAVIOR!

Joey- Sure, you talk shit now, but wait until you get out there tonight.

Justin- What?!

Joey- You heard me. Wait until you get out in that ring and Soul kicks your ass again.

Justin- Excuse me Joey? Would you like to go join Soul? Maybe you, him and that slut Amy can have a threesome. You would enjoy that. Except Soul would probably as YOU to give it to HIM.

Pavel- Point...set...Match!

Joey- Shutup Commy bastard.

Justin- Commy? You got a problem with Russians Joey?

Joey- Yea, I do. They turned their back on us in WWII.

Justin- You know I am Russian too, don't you?

Joey- Uh-oh.

Justin- You damn right Uh-Oh. Because now I'm pissed.

Pavel- That's not good for you Joey.

Joey- ***Sarcastically***O...you think?

Justin- Joey, if it wasn't for us, your country wouldn't have existed after WWII. The Americans and Brits would have bombed the shit out of your precious little Italy. And even after we came, you are lucky you have the Vatican, or Rome wouldn't have existed anymore. Plain and simple we saved your ass like USA did Britain's.

~~~Suddenly a maid comes in wearing a french maid's costume. She had a tray of drinks. Justin grabs a soda along with Joey and Lil Person. Pavel grabs the beer.~~~

Pavel- What...no beer today?

Justin- Na, I got a match tonight.

Joey- You'd lose anyways.

Justin- What did you just say asshole?

Joey- Nothing.

Justin- No, I think you said something.

Joey- No, I didn't say anything. Tell em Pavel.

Pavel- I think I heard something.

Justin- What?

Pavel- ***Mocking Joey's Italian Accent*** Well, it went something like "You'd lose anyways." I'm not completely sure though.

Justin- Is that so? What do you have to say for yourself Joey?

Joey- Uhhhh....Ummmm...Ahhhh...Ughhhhh...

Justin- Spit it out WOP.

Joey- I dunno.

Justin- Don't get wise with me Joey. You know what happens.

Joey- C'mon Justin. I didn't say it. I'm not that stupid.

Pavel- I disagree.

Justin- Now...WHAT...DID...YOU...SAY!?

Joey- I said, You'd lose anyways.

Justin- O really?

Joey- Yea, but I didn't mean it Justin. Honest.

Justin- I think you did. What should I do Pavel?

Pavel- Don't hurt him. Save it for Ringo.

Justin- Ringo? That piece of trash? He couldn't handle me if his god damn life depended on it. Ringo, why did you get involved? Why? That's all I ask of you. This is between me and Lost Soul. This had nothing to do with you. And now, after not showing up for weeks, you just waltz into the FWF offices and demand a title shot. Damn Ringo, your lips must be all dry and tired from kissing Goldman's ass so much. Because as far as I see it, that's the ONLY way that you could have gotten involved in this match. No one in your right mind would give you a title shot, well unless they were piss drunk and you had some revealing photos of them. But as we discovered before Ringo, those are two of the very few things you are good at. And since you've been absent for so long, let me review them. 1. Kissing Ass...2. Being Annoying...3. Getting Your Ass Kicked...and 4. Weasling Your Way Into Things You Don't Deserve. Now, let's review your faults. 1. Life. Oops, sorry Ringo, I forgot. You living is a mistake. And we all know what happens to people who make mistakes and fuck with The Franchise. They end up lying helplessly on the side of the road like you were at Cyberslam and Soul will be tonight.

Ringo, haven't we been down this road before? Is there any real need for more senseless violence? Survery Says: HELL YES! Looks like it just isn't your day Ringo. First you get into a match with the Franchise. And then you realize that the only thing going down tonight is me kicking your ass. Really Ringo, did you expect to win? Didn't you pay attention at Cyberslam? Didn't you pay attention when I kicked out of your best move? Didn't you learn anything? I thought that you had learned NOT TO FUCK WITH ME! But apparently not. Well, then again. Maybe you did remember, because through my eyes, you didn't challenge for this belt again until after I lost it. And then when they told you that you had to fight Soul AND me, you decided, Maybe if I don't say anything, Justin will go easy. Not going to happen. If anything, it made me madder. And looks like I am going to have teach you a lesson again. So take out your notebook, a pen and sit your ass down, becase the Teacher is about to take you to school!

~~~Justin, after finishing the soda, places the can down on the table in front of them. He looks around and then back at the camera.~~~

Justin- Ahh, that was good thank you.

Pavel- Thanks. It's just soda though.

Justin- It's still refreshing.

Pavel- Whatever.

Justin- So what exactly did happen in the first round?

Pavel- Believe me, no one liked it.

Justin- I can see that.

Pavel- The locker room wasn't pretty. Everyone was screaming and yelling at each other. They went all crazy.

Justin- Well, getting swept by the Devils would do that to anyone.

Joey- Shutup, the Devlis are my team.

Justin- No they aren't.

Joey- Yea, they are. I've always loved the Devils.

Justin- No you haven't. You hate the Devils.

Joey- The Devils are the greatest team of all time.

Justin- You weren't saying that when they beat the Avalanche. You were cursing at Brodeur all night long.

Joey- What are you talking about? I would never do that. Brodeur rules.

Justin- You need me to bring out the tape?

Joey- No.

Pavel- Justin: 2...Joey: 0

Justin- Once again, I have successfully defeated Joey in a battle of wits. And once again, it wasn't hard at all.

Joey- Shutup, you still gonna lose.

Justin- No way. Because I'm...THE HERO...THE ICON...THE FRANCHISE...JUSTIN SANE...YOU'RE F'N ROLEMODEL!

~~~Justin, Joey, and Lil Person get up as Pavel escorts them to the door. They walk out and Pavel closes the door as the camera fades.~~~


«««FADE TO BLACK!!«««

Now wasn't that uplifitng?

I thought so.
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