The Following Roleplay is Proudly Brought to You By...


~~~~ THE TRUE MASTER OF INSANITY ~~~~


DO YOU KNOW THE PAIN THAT AWAITS YOU?


---{We stand at a crossroads in the Fans Wrestling Federation. After "Goldman2Korporate" everyone's hero, Dave "Da Bomb" Dexter, is the new FWF World Heavyweight Champion. Which he took from "Jagged" Jeff Jackson and the group known as The Corporate Gunz seemingly are falling apart. Brock Williams has been destroyed by a mystery attacker and JJJ has been devastated by his recent loss at the hands of Dex. Also, Sazuka, destined to be a headliner, is now stuck with the Hardcore Title. Kenny Rock seems to think that he is The Tag Team Champion all by himself after pinning the so called "VACANT". Also we saw a new Big Mouth Champion. Missle has captured the Big Mouth Title. There are so many new questions and situations floating in the aftershock of "Goldman2Korporate" Has winning The Big Mouth Title gotten to Missle's head? Has he become too conceded with winning the belt? Who was the mystery attacker that crippled Brock? Why did Eldar Markovic help Dexter? Is TPFF back for good? And...WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH KENNY ROCK?! So many questions, so little time...}---



[Scene]---{We fade in to look upon a famed television set. It is the set of Saturday Night Live. It is Monday, so the cast and crew are setting up and rehearsing for the week's show. Suddenly the stage door opens slowly and Justin Sane walks in with a cameraman. The cast turns to the door as Justin stands there in a plain black T-shirt and a pair of Levis 402 jeans with a pair of Nike Air Jordan sneakers on and a black leather winter coat on. Will Ferrell quickly jumps from his seat to meet Justin. He walks over and shakes his hand. Justin removes his sunglasses that he had on and looks around. The seats are not yet set up, but tables are instead there for the crew to study their lines. The entrance where the band SNL band sets up and the host talks is already set up along with the "WEEKEND UPDATE" stage and the Green Screen. Justin glances around once more to see the entire cast glaring towards the entrance. They are sitting at a group of consecutive tables in front of sets where the seats would normally be. From left to right we have Tim Meadows, Darrell Hammonds, and Chris Kattan. Opposite them are Cheri Oteri, Horatio Sanz, and Ana Gasteyer. The SNL band is tuning up for practice and the musical guest, "The Ruff Ryders featuring Cash Money" is setting up. Justin takes off his coat and places it on a chair nearby. He folds his sunglasses and sticks them into the jacket pocket. Justin begins to talk to Will while walking towards the rest of the cast. Suddenly, Loren Michaels comes into view. Justin and Will stop. Loren is wearing a black Armani suit with pattened leather shoes. He walks over to Justin to shakes his hand. He speaks}---


[Loren]-Welcome, Justin. We have been expecting you. After hearing of your latest advances in the field of wrestling, mainly the FWF, we here at Saturday Night Live would like to congratulate you. We are extremely happy to have as a guest on our show and cannot wait for Saturday.

[Justin]- Thank you Loren. Will. It is great to be here. Growing up in Russia I never got to experience this, but now that I am here I am glad I can. I too have congratulations to give. I congratulate you and the cast, both past and present, on an excellent 25 years. I hope for another great 25.

[Loren]- I trust that you received the script I sent to you. It is a vital part to our live performance. And without it, we would be lost.

[Justin]- Yes, I received it. I have studied it carefully and know my lines. Where is Colin Quinn. I see that the "WEEKEND UPDATE" stage is set up, but I do not see Colin.

[Scene]---{Suddenly, Colin Quinn walks out of the dressing room area talking to a stage hand. He has a script in one hand and a glass of water in the other. Colin is wearing just a plain pair of blue jeans and a white T-shirt. He stops by Camera 1 to look around. He looks at the table with the cast first and signals hello, then looks towards the door. He sees Justin Sane. He looks down at his script and looks up again. He as a look of approval on his face. Justin and Colin stare each other down for a minute, before Justin and Loren walk over to Colin. Will goes back to the table and sits with the rest of the cast. Colin hands his glass of water to the stagehand and dismisses him. He wipes his hand, wet from the glass, and shakes Justin's hand.}---


[Colin]- So you are the on who I am interviewing? Huh? You ever done comedy before?

[Justin]- Nope. But I have done live interviews, so its not like I can do this stuff. I know its gonna be hard, but I know I can do it.

[Colin]- Ok, ok. Yea, I have seen those shows once or twice. I like em. They are pretty entertaining. But down to business. This is the crucial part. The rehearsal. If you don't know your stuff now, you will never know it. Let's get over to the stage and start this rehearsal.

[Justin]- Ok, no problem. You got it.

[Colin]- Ok, but before we continue. What wrestler's name are we substituting here? What's this guy's name?

[Justin]- His name is Ringo Roberts. I want the cameraman to tape this so he can send this over to FWF for Ringo. Since I know he doesn't watch such great TV as SNL. Hell, he probably can't even afford basic TV.

[Colin]- Ok. No problem. Let me just cross this out, write this in, and we'll start right up.

[Scene]---{Justin walks over to the table with all the cast members there. Justin shakes the hands of Darrell Hammonds, Chris Kattan, Tim Meadows, and Horatio Sanz. He then kisses Cheri Oteri and Ana Gasteyer on the cheek. Justin waves to the rest as he walks slowly towards the stage. Colin has already made his way there. Justin is stopped by a stagehand and given a script and a glass of water with lemon in it. Justin opens the script and holds it in his right hand. He takes a sip of it and continues towards the stage. He gets there and Colin is setting up in his chair. Justin sits down is his chair as Colin is getting ready to start. Justin places his water to his left and the script down in front of him. Justin sets himself and Colin begins.}---



[[BEGIN TRANSMISSION]]


[Colin]- That does it for headlines. Now we have a special guest here tonight. He is from the Wrestling Federation known as Fan Wrestling Federation. He is The Most Hardcore SOB in all of wrestling. He is...JUSTIN SANE!

[Scene]---{Colin looks towards Justin as if the camera is switching to him. The stage hands play a synthesized clapping sound as Justin begins to speak.}---


[Justin]- Thank You, Thank You. It is great to be here.

[Colin]- Well, Justin, it is great to have you here. Now, I understand that you were in a great federation known as BWO. You were a Main Eventer and a favorite among wrestlers and front office members. Why would you leave such a wealth situation and come to a place where you knew you would make base salary and probably not headline for a while? It's a question bugging many of your fans.

[Justin]- Well Colin, that is a simple answer. BWO was mainstream, but it was not FWF. This is the big time Colin. This is what it is all about. I have waited my entire career for this. And finally, I have made it. Many doubted that I could get here. Saying that I wasn't tough enough, or that I couldn't handle the pressure. Well, here's an answer to all those who questioned me. I told you so.

[Colin]- Now, Justin. You have only recently arrived in the FWF, but we are all wondering. Is there anyone that, well...poses a threat to you now? Or that you don't like?

[Justin]- Threat? To Me? Colin, THAT IS comedy. But that I don't like. O yea, there is plenty. But tonight, I have one in mind. Ringo Roberts.

[Colin]- Ringo Roberts? Who is that guy? Ringo? Isn't that some guy from the circus?

[Justin]- Wel...

[Scene]---{As Justin is about to speak, a crazed fan, played by Cheri Oteri busts onto the stage. She is ranting and raving, as Colin can barely contain himself. Justin has a look of inquisitiveness on his face, but then looks at the script, and smiles. Cheri is going wild.}---


[Fan]- O my God! O my God! It's really you?! It's really you?! I always watch you on TV and never miss a single appearance. I have pictures of you all over my wall! You are so hot! Please, could you sign...Uhh...MY BREASTS!

[Scene]---{Cheri pulls out a black permanent marker and is about to take her shirt off. She grabs the bottom, when suddenly, two security men, in the form of Tim Meadows and Will Ferrell, come into the scene and grab her by the arms. They begin to drag her off stage as she tosses Justin a piece of paper with writing on it. Justin looks at it and smiles. The Fan is heard screaming as the interview continues.}---


[Colin]- WOW! That was certainly something. Damn security! We got to fire those guys! They always seem to ruin the perfect moment. What was that piece of paper any ways?

[Justin]- DAMN! Yo man, I never knew that I had that hot of a fan! The paper?! It's her address and phone number. I think I'll have to make a call before I leave town.

[Scene]---{The two laugh and kid each other as Colin and Justin settle back into a serious mood. Colin clears his throat as Justin takes a sip of water. Colin continues.}---


[Colin]- Well, moving on. What were you saying? About Ringo. Before you were so happily interrupted.

[Justin]- O yea, Ringo. Hard to concentrate after that. But I think I can. Ringo Roberts, exiled from Barnum and Bailey Circus and thrown into another type of ring. A new type of entertainment. Well, let me tell you something Ringo. This is serious. No joking around. I, and many others, take this business serious. And I am sure you do to. But I donít EEEVVVEEERRR want to see you try any of your side show freak tricks. Hey, Ringo, bad news for you, hanging out with someone who likes The Hickville Titans, and someone named Bubba, don't exactly help your image. And making fun of the World Champion, Dave "Da Bomb" Dexter, doesn't exactly help either. Your wrestling skills are equal to the Net's basketball skill. If they are as good as you say they are, well then why the hell have they been sitting at the bottom of the Eastern Conference the whole season, with those piece of shit Bulls? Ringo, you liked the Powerplant? Well, probably because you were there so long. See, I came, I saw, and I conquered. All in a mere 5 days. You, however, were down there forever. You actually shook hands with that old guy? Man, you really are a freak. Maybe you should go back to the circus. Now Ringo, I don't have to go out looking for girls. Because as you can see, they come looking for me.

[Colin]- I saw that? An old guy who masturbates five times a day? Damn. What the hell is this guy doing in public He should be locked behind bars. IN A TRAVELING ZOO!

[Justin]- You hear that Ringo. You are getting abused by Colin! But back to you. You want to talk about my tag partner like that? Well go ahead. Just remember that I watch his back and he watches mine. The more smack that you talk about him, the more you talk about me. Ringo, I'll tell you what. After you are done with Doomsday, or should I say...After he is done with you, you bring your ass down to the office building, bring a pen, and sign your ass up for a match with me. You got the balls? I doubt it, but just do it anyway. And to make this a fair fight, I will let you pick the stipulations. Any kind of match, anywhere, any time. Me, you, and whatever else you want in this match. Hell, I will even offer to make it a handicap match, you and your friend Johnny against me. How about it? You up to it? I will be waiting for the answer.

[Colin]- Ok, well folks we are almost out of time on this weekend edition. So, Justin, before we go, any closing comments or actions?

[Justin]- Yea. One more thing.

[Scene]---{Justin points to a man sitting down to eat. He points at himself as to question whether Justin means him. Justin nods and he walks over to where the man is eating. Justin grabs the man and suddenly delivers...THE MENTAL BREAKDOWN...onto and through the table where the man is eating. Colin stands there in shock as Justin goes back to speak once more.}---

[Justin]- Remember this one thing Ringo, for it shall bode you well. I'M JUST INCREDIBLE...I'M JUST INTENSE...I'M JUSTIN SANE!


[[END TRANSMISSION]]


[Scene]---{Justin walks over the fallen man as he gets up and shakes it off. Justin shakes his hand and thanks him. Justin grabs his coat. He thanks Colin and Loren and the cast and promises to be back tomorrow. He tells the cameraman to hurry up and they leave as the door swings open.}---