Here I am, awake again. I’ve slept about 1 ¾ hours tonight. Partly it is my restless legs; partly it’s, who knows? Not enough exercise, maybe? We had a long day of driving again, so I did a lot of sitting and not much moving around.
Whatever, I can’t shut off my brain, so here I am.
There are all kinds of hunger, and I’m starved for conversation. DB and I talk, a lot, but I mean the kind of conversation that helps one to connect with other people.
On our long drives, conversation goes something like this: Me, “You know, this forest makes me think of Halloween.” DB “ Sorry, what?” Me, “This forest makes me think of Halloween.” DB “I didn’t get that.” Me, “It wasn’t important.”
It isn’t just that DB’s hearing is worse than ever, especially in his right ear, it is that he is concentrating on getting this big rig safely around corners, up hills, threaded through three lanes of traffic. So, mostly, I sit and watch for road signs, and get lost in my own thoughts.
For someone whose life and vocations have been built around discussions and conversations with a wide variety of people, this can get very lonely. Even on the Caravan, because we were so busy or were driving somewhere, conversations were limited. I can count on one hand the number of real discussions I had with other people during that 60 days.
I also haven’t had a book to read, except for a pseudo-scientific one about Mt. Rainier, for a few weeks. At least when I am involved in a novel or an interesting journal, I have something new to think about. It’s hard to get too wound up in a description of the geology of a mountain, as interesting as it is. But then, if I had someone to talk with about it, I might find it more arresting. DB tries, but it’s not his cup of tea.
The couple days we spent with the Lovelady’s were wonderful, especially because we talked, and talked, and talked. That’s when I began to realize just how hungry I am. I’ve had a few times, usually after church, to talk a bit with people, but mostly those conversations were centered around our travels.
The internet, when we have it, helps a bit; but, just like a journal, any conversations on it are more like monologues; it’s hard to have a real discussion when you have to wait for a few days to hear the other side. Scype would be nice, but the internet is too spotty for us to overcome the time difference and poor connections.
The few times we have had good phone service, I have had an opportunity to talk with our daughter, but then, again, much of that is catching up with necessary stuff, and not just conversation.
So, I talk with the puppy; she’s always interested, but doesn’t have too much to say. Or I talk to myself, pretending I am talking with the puppy. Sadly, I’ve heard everything I have to say before; I really need someone else’s thoughts and ideas!
DB and I are lucky: we DO have a lot to talk about, even after 59 years of being together. And I love the evenings when we aren’t too tired or too busy to really have a discussion. But I do need input from others, too. It is my nature and what I am used to.
So, what’s the answer? I have NO idea! I’ll just plug along, and take my conversations in bits and pieces along the way. I have discovered one thing; I’d never be able to be a hermit!
Life is good; especially with a variety of conversations. Thanks be to God.
September 19, 2010, 3:45 a.m., Sunday, Osprey Point RV, Lakeside, OR
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