Lyra wrote in her blog and spurred this second post from me today.
I lost the first post I did this evening. I am always surprised when something new trips me up. I had misnamed this file, and when I tried to fix it, I lost 30 minutes of writing! Grr!
Lyra wrote about wishing she could have family and friends close by enough that she could run over in her pj's with her coffee in the morning and have a gab around the breakfast table. Or, have a friend run in in the evening, carrying her wine glass, in her pj's, to hash over the day.
This all made me think about how I miss just that. I have been away from family since 1980; actually they moved away from me, my kids, that is. But, when DB and I took our family from RI to NH, I left behind my dearest friend. She is still my dearest friend, but no longer the "pj" one.
We lived together in the same house for nearly three years. She moved into our empty third floor during a difficult period in her life. We turned it into an apartment for her and her two little kids, 3 and almost 5. It was one of the best decisions we ever made.
I was already caring for two other children, along with my own three, so adding Penny's two to the bunch while she worked was no problem. And the payoff was tremendous: I had a built-in sister to share laughs, joys, struggles, pains, with. DB manfully put up with our marathon pj talks that lasted late into the night. After all, he now had two women to wait on him in the evening!
But above all, we talked, and talked, and talked. And we still do in the rare times we can be together. And DB still puts up with it. He knows when Penny comes for a week or so, the coffee and the lights will be on late into the night.
When we moved to NH, I knew I would miss her, but I had NO IDEA JUST HOW MUCH. I have never found another friend with whom I am as close as I still am to Penny. The years and the miles have not diminished our relationship. However, I still miss being able to run upstairs with my coffee, in my pj's or another less-than-public outfit, or having her show up in my kitchen to help me with the dishes.
Then years later, we moved to NY from PA. Lyra had just graduated from high school and was working for a year before she married. We drove to work together and our relationship moved from just parent/child, to parent/friend/grown woman-child. It was a wonderful year. Just like with Penny, we talked and talked and talked. She is the only other person, besides Penny, I can work with comfortably in my kitchen. Everyone else has always made me nervous.
Lyra and I prepared dinner together every weekday evening, and did the clean-up together. Note to me: How come I remember only Lyra and I doing clean-up? We had three teen age boys in the household at that time, too!
Life changes and now Penny has to fly to see me (I hope to get to her house this summer), and Lyra comes up rarely. She was here this weekend, however, checking on her Dad, and we talked and talked and talked. It was a great pj weekend, including time to lean on the kitchen table, drinking our coffee.
So, I know what Lyra means when she writes that she wishes her life could include pajama time. I miss it, too. Those relationship are precious. I think I knew it at the time, with both Penny and Lyra, but as the years have gone by, and my life has taken many turns, I cherish the memories of those pajama days more and more.
Life is good, when you have pajama friends and relations. Thanks be to God.
April 20, 2009, 9:12p.m.
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