I came home last night because the weather report for today was not hopeful. I hit snow, but not serious, all the way from Pembroke to the Stockton road. This morning it is sunny, but who knows what is happening between here and big city. And it's good to be home early on Wednesday.
"Hold fast the unchangeable truth of your Word, Jesus Christ your son, who with you and the Holy Spirit lives and reigns, one God, for ever and ever. Amen"
The collect for the second Sunday in Lent. Hold fast the unchangeable truth of your Word. This is becoming very hard for me, the more we intellectualize it, the harder it is. I have found myself not able to pray; oh, I do it mechanically, but not with the faith I have always had that Someone is there to hear me, and CARES about my petty little concerns. I need to talk to Mr. Priest.
Ellen wants us to make a list of those images we get when we pray to God/Jesus. I made the mistake of sharing my lilac story with them and now I feel that I have revealed too much in that group. When I finished, there was silence, then Derick said, "And what color were the lilacs?" And I knew I had opened up myself to ridicule. I laughed and said, "Lilac color", and Ellen, who was taken aback by my story, also, said, "They didn't have the artificial colors for lilacs then that they do now." I know she was trying to help, but the damage was done.
So, my list: Jesus as, playmate, confidant, gardener (in the nurturing growth sense), father/brother, confessor, always there in me to share my thoughts, my anxieties. I know it is too simplistic, especially for theologians, but there it is.
Life is confusing, but will get better. Thanks be to God. Amen.
7:30 AM
"He shall come down like rain upon the mown field;
like showers that water the earth." Psalm 72: 6
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