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Now It's Dark: The Death of Twin Peaks -- or, The Snoqualmie Valley: Heaven, Subdivided
Just blew in from North Bend, Washington, moments east of my new favorite city, Seattle. E’en as we speak they’re tearing up the forest and putting in a Starbucks. Go see it now, while there are still a few trees and the coffee only costs a buck.
That was then, this is now – these days, you’re more likely to wait through two green lights than slow down for a yellow. Logging trucks now must battle for pavement space along with the Saab’s and SUVs. North Bend sports no less than six espresso joints along it’s main drag, and Edward Jones Investments has fancy digs downtown.
Signs point in every direction to swish new Northwest Style apartment complexes decked out in perfect shades of green and brown. You can rent a $1400/mo condo with concierge just a hop skip and a jump from the counter at what Peakers fondly remember as the Double R Diner, now Twede’s Café, closed due to fire and awaiting re-open.
I drop into the real estate office and inquire about the traffic. What the hell is everyone doing in North Bend? Oh, this happened about five years ago, says the uninterested agent behind the counter who has automatically written me off because I have asked about apartments. These days, they’re in the biz of $300,000 homes.
It’s enough to break your heart – here was this tawdry little mountain burg with the chinese restaurant in the tyrolean-style building caught in the shadow of rocky Mt. Si – just one half hour from Seattle, you had woods, country, laid-back, trailer types and gentlemen farmers, blueberry u-pick patches and roads lined with blackberry brambles.
Much of this still exists, but not for long.
When ol’ what’s-her-name sang “They paved paradise and put up a parking lot”, the good people of Seattle weren’t paying attention. At least not from what I can see. Everywhere on the Eastside, stands of majestic Douglas Firs are toppling in favor of Target, Cine-google-plexes and gourmet grocery stores, Blockbuster Video, Trader Joes. A Tully’s Coffee or three. Ten minutes down the road in Issaquah, one sees exactly what it is the now only semi-bucolic towns of Fall City, Snoqualmie and North Bend have to look forward to.
It’s deceptive – you cannot see it from I-90, that road to hot places in Eastern Washington that is the root of the problem (making it too damn convenient to commute to), but nestled in among the firs are endless strip malls and cheaply built apartments that aren’t renting for cheap – no sir. Two lane roads are clogged for miles, because Issaquah city fathers seem to have neglected infrastructure for fast and easy tax base expansion.
Blame it on the rain – how can seemingly eco-savvy Seattle be so development-dumb? Sure, there are trails and parks, but can you say trail rage? I’ve been less irritated chewing my nails on the San Bernardino Freeway than while trying to climb the Snoqualmie Falls.
Like we haven’t seen suburbia suck the life out of a million cities before? It’s here where the Northwest’s provincial behavior ceases to be charming and becomes plain maddening. Did anyone ever think of jumping on a plane to Los Angeles to see how truly devastating un-monitored sprawl can be?
You can tell me that you’re monitoring. I say you’re not monitoring well enough. It’s an absolute nightmare, and it will only get worse.
Soon enough, the Double R will be converted over into something Italian or French, something trendy with either “Le”, “Il”, “Cucina”, “Trattoria” or “Bistro” involved in its title.
And all the Seattleites who left that beautiful city for the once-beautiful country will sit and sup on Chardonnay and Seared Pepper Encrusted Ahi -- all of a sudden, Luke will turn to Liz, Julian will turn to Jennifer, unglue cellphone from ear and tug on bleached goatee, and it will hit them at once – what the fuck is happening here.
Then there shall be much weeping and gnashing of teeth, and Save the Snoqualmie Valley’s Green Spaces and Dear God Let’s Stop the Developers.
By then, they’ll be strip-malling the Snoqualmie Pass, and people will be commuting to Seattle from Cle Elum because Fall City homes are going for $2 million and Issaquah has too much crime. Which is to say, too fuckin’ little, too fuckin’ late.
Greed will kill us all.
You think I’m full of shit? Try this one on for size. I’d been driving from Puyallup back to Issaquah, and passing through Enumclaw and headed north, I was sure I’d finally found heaven. Miles of no cars and no houses, new growth blending beautifully with old growth trees at the base of majestic Mount Rainier, now in my rear view mirror.
I was convinced I was in the middle of nowhere. Just past a sparkling lake, I come to a stop sign. A sort of alpine meadow filled with young trees stretched out before me – there wasn’t a soul around. The sky was richly blue-gray and the greens were on double-stun. And then I saw the sign.
20 UNITS. LARGE LOTS. CUSTOM BUILD.
God save Seattle.
Email: davidr@lifeingotham.com
Next Update: 20 Oct