day three

"To not retaliate ferociously for this attack on our people is only to invite a worse attack tomorrow and an endless war with terrorists." The New York Times

"Neither the air nor decomposing bodies should pose a major health concern." Health experts at the scene

"New York is tough. We cry about things in the afternoon, then we go home and take a shower and go out and party." Downtown resident

"What's needed is unified, unifying..purple American fury - a ruthless indignation that doesn't leak away, or into a corruptly thoughtful relativism..anyone who does not loathe the people who did these things is too philosophical for decent company." Lance Morrow, Time

"I think a lot of young people like me..are all of a sudden put in a position where they need to think about things that may seem uncool to them. Like fighting back. Like how we're all Americans and we've been attacked." Damon Wyckoff, 26, Sacramento

"Why did they die?" A child, speaking to a reporter on 1010 WINS News Radio

sept 11 2001 - the nine o'clock hour: the towers are falling

sept 12 2001 - it happened: 24 hours later

sept 14 2001 - finding one, while others still search

sept 14 2001 - what now then: looking forward

sept 14 2001 - enter the president

sept 15 2001 - remembering what is impossible to forget

9:00AM, September 13, 2001

The mayor ordered, last night, 35,000 additional bodybags. Streets are still closed, offices shuttered south of 14th Street. Three thousand tons of debris moved, and only the beginning.

Thirty-six hours after the fact, I got a phone call from the last person that I knew I needed to check in on. It was my friend Jennifer – call after call after call, and I cannot find her. Her dad’s phone number down in Chattanooga has been busy for hours. My phone rings, just before I am ready to close my eyes for the first time in almost 24 hours.

Its Jen. I’m okay. I was standing at the corner of West and Vesey when the second plane went through, 100 stories above me. I ran with the crowd north into TriBeCa, and the women began to complain about their feet hurting, and all I wanted to do was slap them and yell, Thank God You’re Alive And Shut Up.

Jennifer saw it all go down, saw the towers collapse, and now she is saying that she will never leave New York, to see how we as a city have coped, to see Rudy and the way he has risen to the task, the way his press conferences have been free of tension, only humility, honesty, and sharing as much as he can with the press, who have suddenly seen him in a completely different light.

I’m thinking a lot about the loss of freedom. Thinking about the way the city has been handling this, we with that now all too important built-in mechanism for coping with the tiny chaos that infests our daily lives, whether it be sweating in 103 degree heat and humidity on subway platforms, the mad dash of sidewalks in morning rush, lines at banks, anger and frustration that can bubble over in just about any situation, at any time.

New York offers many things to its people. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that peace of mind and freedom from fear are not necessarily part of the package.

So in a sense, we were prepared more effectively for this mini-Armageddon in ways that many other cities may not have been. In Los Angeles, they were lining up for supplies, loading their guns, many headed for the desert.

In a sense, perhaps what this country has become today is one big New York – the equivalent of an empty subway car at three in the morning, a dimly-lit street in the wee hours. Watch your back.

I say this because, these are things that one can adjust to. I have read the out of town papers and seen so much reactionary behavior, and I wish that there were less of it. It is, in a way, akin to when men come home from war – no one who did not see it understands it truly. Thousands of people died in our city.

We were a lucky country. Most of us lived in complete freedom. We could jump in our gas-guzzlers and go wherever we pleased, and we can still do that, but we must be cautious.

We can live with it.

Life does not need to cease to exist – it will carry on. We must be wise. We must grow up just a little bit, we must not be children, we cannot stamp our feet, cannot get paranoid.

We must be determined to tell our unseen enemies day after day that we will not back down. We will not hide – we are proud to be Americans, many of us for the first time truly feeling that pride – and we are here to stay.

When I was a child, ‘love it or leave it’ was a phrase I did not care for. It suggested that America was perfect. Suddenly, I realize that it doesn’t mean that at all. I love America. More than ever. I am keenly aware of what’s wrong here on the home front. But would I trade it for any other country in the world?

It’s just been reported that the New York Philarmonic will hold a memorial on the 20th, at Avery Fisher Hall. Just thinking about what they’ll play has me already on the verge of tears.

Then again, what doesn’t these days. I keep going back to the photo that ran in the Post yesterday, a closeup of a group standing on window-less ledges, considering the jump. A couple in the middle holds each other, plotting their next move. If it had been a clearer shot, the looks of horror on all of the faces would have clearly visible -- there is only so much we can handle.

Once again, it’s a beautiful day. There has been a rumored shut down, check points on the bridges to Staten Island this morning, my own neighborhood is recouping after a bomb scare, on the block where Senator Schumer owns a house, in the shadow of Prospect Park.

My roommate wept, drank too much scotch and fled to Philadelphia. It was like a movie, where there’s the one guy that stands there in the room and announces that yes, he will stay behind.

My resolve grows by the hour. I’m not going anywhere. No one will take away my freedom. I’ve claimed it, and you’ll have to rip it from my hands. Either that, or kill me.

And that’s the whole truth.

 

Email: davidr@lifeingotham.com

Next Update: 20 September

Support freedom