Here are the available models:
1. Bifocals Barbie.
Comes with
her own set of
blended-lens fashion frames
in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck
chain and large-print editions of
Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.
2.
Hot
Flash Barbie.
Press
Barbie's bellybutton and watch her
face turn beet red while tiny drops of
perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes
with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.
3.
Facial
Hair Barbie.
As
Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow.
Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.
4.
Flabby
Arms Barbie.
Hide
Barbie's droopy triceps with these new,
roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, too -
muumuus with tummy-support panels are included.
5.
Bunion
Barbie.
Years of
disco dancing in
stiletto heels have definitely taken their
toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet.
Soothe her sores with the pumice stone
and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.
6.
No-More-Wrinkles
Barbie.
Erase
those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a
tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from
Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.
7.
Mid-life
Crisis Barbie.
It's time
to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and
Fred (her personal trainer) is just what
the doctor ordered, along with Prozac.
8.
Divorced
Barbie.
Sells for
$199.99. Comes with Ken's house,
Ken's car, and Ken's boat.
9.
Post-Menopausal
Barbie.
This
Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes,
forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot.
Comes with Depends and Kleenex.
Please note that you will not be able to find these exclusive Barbies in your local store because they are, alas, only a figment of someone's imagination. Hope you enjoyed it !
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