On The Outside: By Amy

A specials thanks to Tara for her guidance and encouragement.

Ch.5
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"Brian, you're a total chicken, man," AJ McLean stated as he entered the kitchen to see Kevin Richardson and Howie Dorough setting the table.

"Why is my cousin a chicken?" Kevin asked, raising his brow.

AJ plopped down, leaning back in the wooden chair. "He is because he ain't got the balls to ask Patti to the dance tomorrow night."

"He ain't got the balls?" Nick Carter repeated as he joined the group. "You mean Brian's really a girl?" he gasped in shock.

"NO!" Brian Littrell shouted as he felt his face turning a bright shade of red. "Man, why can't you all just leave me alone?"

"Because the house is small and crowded," Kevin answered simply.

Howie smiled, taking pity on the teen. "AJ, lay off of Brian. You're embarrassing him."

The rebellious youth crossed his arms. "I'm just sayin' if I was interested in Patti, I would marched right up to her today and informed her she was goin' to the dance with me."

"Informed her?" Howie asked in skeptical tone. "AJ, you really need to work on your skills with women. You never, ever tell a woman what she's going to do. You'll end up getting a slap in the face or a five hour lecture about women's rights."

"AJ, do you even have a date to this dance?" Kevin pondered as he poured everyone a glass of water.

"Of course I do!" AJ said proudly. "It's never a problem for me to get a date. Whenever I go, ladies follow all in the hope of taking in a mere glimpse of my handsome charm. It's hard to keep them off me."

Nick faced the rambling teenager. "Then, why are you sitting here with all of us on a Friday night? Shouldn't you be on a date?"

Brian smirked. "That's a very good question, Nick." He tilted his head, glancing at the other teen. "So, what's your answer, AJ? Why are you here with us single guys instead of out on the town?"

AJ turned away from the intrigued pair. "I needed some time for myself. Fighting off all those girls all the time can wear a guy out. I need some time to rest so I can keep up with my adoring fans," he stammered.

The other three erupted into a fight of laughter.

"Fans?" Kevin mocked. "What are you Elvis or something?"

AJ wore a cocky grin. "I'm a master with moving my pelvis just like he was, and I'd like to think I'm a king, thank you very much. And the girls love me for it."

Howie rolled his eyes. "AJ, shut up. You're going to ruin everyone's appetite."

Nick fidgeted in his chair, glancing at the meal Kevin Richardson placed on the center of the table. "Fried chicken and biscuits!" he exclaimed.

Brian Littrell rolled his eyes, releasing an irrated sigh. "Fried chicken and biscuits that have been sitting out all day at the diner, and probably taste like crap. And we get it as dinner because no one else wanted it."

"Brian, drop it," Kevin warned, tossing a glare at his younger cousin.

"Well, it's true," Brian responded. "We always get leftover soup, or burgers or whatever doesn't sell that day. Can't we ever have a fresh meal? Between both of us working we should be able to afford that, Kev."

"Look, Brian, to be honest by the time I get home I'm just too tired to make a meal," Kevin said tiredly.

"I'm tired too!" Littrell fought. "I get up just as early as you do, and I go to school and I work! Then, I have to come home and do my damn homework!"

"Don't swear," Kevin ordered.

"You do."

"Well, I'm older."

Brian rested against the back of his chair, crossing his arms. "That's what you always say. I don't even know why I bother going to school anymore."

Kevin drew in a deep breath, anger slowly consuming him as the conversation continued. "You go to school to get an education so you can have a better job than I do."

"Yeah, right," the blue-eyed boy spat sarcastically. "No one around here goes to college and makes themself anything better. Everybody's some type of orphan or deadbeat growin' up in poverty! Howie's smart and he didn't go to college! And neither did Kit! So, why should I bother?"

A sad statement crept over AJ's face as he listened to Brian's uncharacteristic outburst. "It's not Howie's fault that he didn't go to college," he whispered, "it's mine."

"AJ, it is not your fault," Howie immediately assured him. "Don't ever think that. A lot of people here just don't go to college because there's nothing nearby and money is scarce. Those aren't reasons that you can blame yourself for."

"You could have got scholarships," AJ stated. "Then, you coulda' got way out of here and never looked back." He lowered his head. "Maybe I should just go back to living with my uncle, Howie."

"Absolutely not. You are not ever going to live with that son of a bitch again!" Howie Dorough declared.

Four pairs of anxious eyes stared at the man in shock at his blunt and aggressive comment.

Howie covered his face, embarrassment finding him soon after his statement. "Um, sorry guys, I didn't mean to get so angry and swear like that."

Kevin shook his head. "No, you don't need to apologize." He turned to Brian, his brow furrowing. "You, however, might consider it."

Brian glared back at his relative. "I'm just not in a good mood."

"Is something going on at school?" Howie inquired.

The teen shook his head, his wavy bangs falling before his eyes. "No."

"No one makes fun of you because of your living situation, do they?" Kevin questioned.

"Why would they?" Brian asked simply. "Everybody in this town is practically as bad off as their neighbor. It would be stupid to make fun of anybody else. I just think school is a waste."

"Do you feel the same way, AJ?" Howie pondered, facing the rebellious youth.

"Nah," AJ said resting his arms behind his head, "I like school. I know I'm not a genius or anything and I don't claim to be, but it's like a break."

"A break?" Brian mocked. "How could it be a break? Teachers lecturing all the time and getting assignments."

AJ shrugged. "I don't really care about the assignments. I get them done but I don't really try. I'll never go to college anyway."

"You shouldn't say that," Howie encouraged. "You never know, you could get in."

"And pay for it with my part time job that pays minimum wage?" McLean sighed. "Face it, Howie, Brian's right. People don't ever get away from here."

Kevin rubbed his neck as he felt the feeling of tension roaming through his body. "You two are really depressing conversationalists. Did you know that?"

"Nothing better to talk about," Brian easily replied.

"Do you guys fight often?" a small voice mumbled.

Those were the first words Nick Carter had muttered since the outburst and argument began. He set in the corner, his knees drawn up in chair as to make a shield around himself. It seemed as though the other people in the room were now looking at a different young man. The laughter and excitement that filled him since his stay began had now been replaced by fear.

"Families fight all the time, Nick," Kevin explained softly. "Normally, when people get upset they take it out on the people they love the most."

"That's stupid," Nick said bluntly, lowering his feet to the floor. "If someone's lucky enough to have anybody love them, they should be glad."

Brian frowned as he listened to Nick's words. "You're right. I'm sorry I scared you."

"I'm not scared," Nick answered quickly, wiping his nose. "I ain't scared of nothin'."

Howie fought a smile watching the youngest male fidget in his seat. "I'm sure you're not, Nick."

Kevin snorted. "All this fuss over some girl and a stupid dance."

"She's not just 'some girl'," Brian retorted, crossing his arms.

"See!" AJ exclaimed, pointing his finger at Brian. "You do like her! I knew it all along! I am the king!"

Kevin shook his head. "Brian, why don't you go call her before someone gets a hold of her or she decides she doesn't want to go at all."

Brian's eyes widened. "But what if she says 'no'?"

"Then, I set you up with one of my spare girlfriends than flock around me," AJ offered.

Kevin sighed. "Well, go call her already, Bri, it's getting late."

Brian stood and began running out of the room toward the phone.

"Hey, wait for me!" AJ hollered. "If she's not interested in you let's find out if she's interested in me!"

"Morons," Kevin and Howie mumbled in unison.

Nick sat at the table, exchanging glances with the two older men. "So, um...how 'bout them Dodgers?" he asked in desperation to start a conversation.

Howie smirked, gazing down the blonde. "Nick, why don't you go help AJ bug Brian?"

"Cool!" Nick exclaimed, quickly standing. He paused at the end of the kitchen staring back at the meal resting on the table. "Um, Kevin?" he called out meakly.

"Yeah, kid?"

"Could I maybe take my meal with me?"

Kevin raised his brow looking down at the food. "Nick, it's not as if it's going to be gone by the time you get back."

Nick bit his lip as he shuffled his feet back and forth nervously. "It's a habit. I never know where my next meal is coming from."

"Oh," Kevin whispered. "Well, um sure you can. Just this once."

"Here, Nick," Howie said as he filled the paper plate. "Enjoy it."

"Thanks!" Nick replied, taking the meal and rushing away to join the teenagers.

Richardson massaged his temples as the he found himself alone with his confidant. "I just don't know what to do, Howie."

"Has Brian been upset a lot lately?" Dorough wondered.

"I dunno, I guess," Kevin rambled. "I know he's not happy living with me. And I don't blame him, I'm no kinda' father-figure for him."

"Isn't the anniversary of his parents' death coming up soon?"

Kevin nodded. "Yeah, a few days. I hadn't even thought of that. I just wish there were more I could do for him."

"You do plenty," Howie promised. "You gave up everything you had planned so he could come stay with you. You were planning on joining the Air Force and breaking out of this hellhole."

Kevin glanced toward the Latino. "D, be truthfully with me. Could you have gone to Med. school?"

Howie took in a deep breath, resting his arms across the table. "I don't know about medical school, but I think I could have received enough money to go to some type of college."

"Do you regret staying here?"

"Somedays I do and I hate myself for it," he whispered. "I couldn't let AJ go on living with his uncle. Who knows what could happen." He looked up at the older man. "Remember what happened the last time AJ was over at his uncle's house and he came home drunk off his ass?"

Kevin shut his eyes as the memory replayed in his mind. "Do I ever. He really messed the kid up something awful."

"Thank God I had connections with the doctor so AJ could get fixed up. He's better off with me, although I'm not much."

"You're his friend," Kevin stated. "You're the best friend that kid ever had, like a built-in brother."

"Yeah, I guess."

"That's what I worry about with, Bri," Richardson breathed. "No parental guidance."

Howie rolled his dark eyes. "That's a lie. You're more strict than any parent I've ever known. You know, maybe that is why you and Brian come to blows so often. You have very different personalities, while AJ and I are more alike. Perhaps, Brian feels like you want to be his dad and he doesn't want you to be."

Kevin chuckled. "You sound like a damn therapist, Howie."

"Oh, yeah," he laughed sarcastically. "You know me, Kev, I can't go a day without listening to Dr. Laura's radio show about psychology."

"Don't you ever feel the need to be like a parent to AJ?" Kevin pondered, returning to a serious tone.

Howie rested against the back of the chair. "That's pointless, Kev. AJ, Nick and Brian have already seen way too much to ever be protected or be naive. We can't shield them like a parent could and we're too young to know what the hell parenting is like anyway."

"Yeah, good point," Kevin sighed.

The room was shadowed by silence as the two men sat together, the sordid reality of their lives looming within them. They weren't happy, they weren't sad....They were only surviving, which within the town of Lendon was never an easy task.

Noise soon entered the small home again as Brian's shouting voice echoed off the walls.

"GUYS, SHE SAID 'YES'!"

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